Charlotte's POV...

Sometimes I feel like I'm treading water in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight, and if I stop trying to swim, the waves will consume me.

I'm miserable and lonely not having Levi here. Two weeks have gone by already and even though I'm busy throughout the day and my treatments at the hospital have increased, I still feel empty inside. The only fulfilling part of my day is when we talk or text, and that's not nearly enough to fill the void in my chest.

Before meeting Levi, I thought I was happy, that my life was complete. I had a job where people needed me, and that made me feel special. I didn't mind not being in a relationship at the time because I had so many other responsibilities that occupied my time.

But Levi showed me there's more to life than just my work. He helped me realize I was missing one of the most important things in life...love.

I've never had this type of intimate connection before, someone to love me and accept all that I am, someone to share my free time with, laugh with, cry with. I miss him. I miss his handsome face and the way his hands send indescribable sensations throughout my body.

There's a piece of my heart missing now and I find myself just going through the motions of living and it's lonely.

Nate notices it too. Not only am I sick again from having radiation every day, but I'm also exhausted and can't keep up with the demands of my work. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought I could handle all of this, and not having Levi here for support.

I ended up having to hire another full time therapist so that she can take over for me and I can focus only on the paperwork and running the facility. Nate's demanded that I do no more patient therapy until after my surgery and I'm feeling better.

Nate also has convinced me to tell my parents about my situation. Of course they flew here right away and were not only very angry at me for not telling them in the first place, but they've also became very helpful to me.

My mom's been keeping my apartment tidy and cooking all the meals and my dad has kept occupied with fixing whatever he finds broken around here. They also sit with me during my treatments, which is comforting for me. Them being here for me makes me feel guilty as well. I'm wishing it was Levi here helping me through this, but I'm the one who pushed him to go back to England. He's going to be upset with me when I finally break the news to him, maybe he won't want to talk to me or even want me anymore. I'm hurting him by not telling him but I'm helping him at the same time I hope. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either I keep this secret for as long as possible so he can enjoy life back home and finish this new acting role he has, or come clean. Either way, It may be too late at this point, and I'll probably end up by myself the rest of my life.

Levi and I have spoken on the phone almost every day. The six hour time difference has made it difficult for us. Between his acting job and my job here, as well as my grueling treatments, finding the right hour during the day to chat has been a challenge. I've found a few moments here and there to speak with Landon though.

Landon found out that I was sick when he was here for Levi's graduation party. I didn't tell him the extent of my struggles, all he knows is that I've been ill and I didn't want to worry Levi with my problems or make him lose focus on his goals. Landon tries to understand where I'm coming from, but he's not very happy with me for making him keep this secret from his best friend. I know I'm not being fair to either of them and my decision to hide it is going to come back and kick me in the ass.

Andy moved out of Levi's flat to live with his new girlfriend, but Landon has stayed with Levi so he can keep an eye on him and help him out. It makes me happy knowing Levi has a friend living with him, he won't feel lonely that way. Plus Landon fills me in on how Levi is really doing back home.

I feel bad calling Levi at this hour of the night in London, but I need to talk with him before my two week stay at the hospital that's happening day after tomorrow. I'm scheduled for surgery in two weeks and my doctor has scheduled extensive treatments for me prior and says it's a good idea for me to stay there during this treatment phase. I'll be sick and exhausted, I won't be able to work, and I even might lose some of my hair from this, which I am not looking forward to at all.

"Hey Love!" Levi answers his phone, his voice groggy. I probably woke him up seeing as it is two in the morning over in London.

"Hi! I'm sorry I'm calling so late!" I apologize.

"Don't worry Love, how was your day? You sound tired," he says.

"I've been busy and have a lot on my mind. Enough about me, how was therapy today? How was your second week on the new set?" I divert the conversation to him.

"Therapy is fine, we've worked out a six in the morning time slot for me, it works better than after a long day on the set," his voice more pronounced now.

"Oh good, and how about the movie, how is it coming along?" I ask again.

He pauses for a moment before answering which makes me think there's something he's trying not to tell me. Karma, I think to myself. Lately, he hasn't wanted to talk about his new movie.

"Levi, what is it?" I press.

"It's only a supporting actor role they gave me, nothing special, it's going fine," he sighs.

"That sigh doesn't tell me it's going fine," I point out.

"I knew it would be like this, I knew everyone would treat me different. My co-star Anna spotted my leg brace the other day and ever since, she looks at me like she has to be careful around me. This morning she witnessed me go up the stairs and she grabbed my arm like she needed to help me," Levi says to me with defeat clear in his tone.

"Levi, it sounds like she's trying to be nice. Maybe she was just caught off guard. I mean you are unavoidably attractive and a great actor, maybe she was surprised at how well you're able to move about on your own after knowing about your accident," I try and lighten his mood.

"I don't know about that, only you, Andy, and Landon treat me like a normal person. Mark even treats me like I need special treatment, that's probably why he keeps trying to find me small roles to play," he says.

"Sounds like they just care about you Levi."

"God, I miss you Charlotte!"

"I miss you too Levi."

"Please keep calling no matter what time it is over here, I need to hear your voice," he pleads into the phone.

"I love you Levi, and I'm proud of you for making a go at this and for sticking to your daily physical therapy!" I encourage him the best I can from all the way across the pond.

"I love you Charlotte," he says before I hang up on him.

Levi's struggling back home, trying to get adjusted. He hates the fact that he still needs to wear a brace and he thinks that people will only see his limp and not see him. I know this is hard for him, he is known all over the world because of his fame and has camera people following his every move, waiting to judge him. I wish I could be there to help him through this. Good thing he has Landon, and hopefully I'll be fully recovered soon so we can see each other again.

The following weeks are hell for me. I've received a triple dose of medication to prepare me for the best possible outcome during surgery. If I wasn't sleeping from sheer exhaustion, I was in the bathroom emptying my insides into the toilet. I had only managed to phone Levi once that week. I'm sure I sounded awful when I spoke, he's sure to believe there's something wrong with me now. I do send him text messages every day to make up for the lack of him hearing my actual voice and I hope that's good enough for now. Who am I kidding? I need to hear his voice as much as he needs to hear mine.

My parents have visited every day and Nate has come by every other day to check on me and keep me updated on everything going on at the rehab center. I'd go completely insane not knowing what's going on over there and if our patients are doing alright. I tried calling Levi this morning, but he didn't answer. I got a hold of Landon though and our conversation wasn't what I expected.

"Charlotte, I'm worried about Levi, he's not in a good way this week!" Landon says.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Last week he looked depressed and this week he looks in pain! He's constantly rubbing his left leg and has been using his crutch this week, so I know his leg is bothering him, he also skipped his physical therapy sessions the last few days!...He misses you Charlotte! Why haven't you called him?" Landon hysterically informs me.

Shit! The spasms are back. This is my fault, he's worried, I've only been texting him. I need to at least tell Landon what's really going on, maybe he can help Levi without actually telling him about me.

"Landon, I am having surgery on Thursday morning to remove a brain tumor, I've been in the hospital the last two weeks preparing for the surgery."

"What?" Landon blurts out.

Landon continues to yell at me through the phone, "Charlotte, you need to tell Levi, he should know! You could die!" Landon exaggerates that last part. Although it is a possibility.

Before I can respond back, I hear Levi shout something in the background and the line goes dead. I lay back down against my pillow on the hospital bed, my hand shaking as I try to place my cell phone on the night stand next to me. What did I do? Landon is right, I should've told Levi. He's back at home and in pain because of me, he's going to hate me now. I've never felt so afraid and so alone.