Chapter 26 - "Breaking Apart Again"

Six years! It took me freaking six years to build myself again and stand strong. In all these years, all that I did was cry and die in guilt. It was just so hard for me to forget her and think of spending my life with someone else. I loved her! I loved my Avni. I couldn't leave her. 

Since that terrific day, I had only come out of my room owing to some work. I had stopped talking to anyone. I killed the cheerful Neil Khanna. Another dying soul was alive in me, that didn't live. I was dead, literally dead. There was no way I could live again except her. But that was next to impossible. 

It was going this way, until that day. The day I saw Dad in a vulnerable state, crying his heart out. He was literally begging me to get myself to a place where I could at least recognize myself. He blamed himself for my state and he blamed himself for snatching my life. But he wasn't at mistake too! How could he be? One can die for friends. It was just a last wish! 

That was the day I had promised myself to stay stronger and not cry over the spilt milk. It was six years that she had been away, I lived. I won't fall weak anymore, be it six decades as long as I don't see her. Ever.

I was stable after a long time. Some weeks later, I decided to do something productive, something that I loved. After getting Mom's consent, I filled in the form for the reality show of singing that I wanted to take part in. Luckily, I got the call for my audition. 

I was there at the backstage, looking at the screen that gave view of the stage. There was just the voice of the music. I ignored, and kept on rehearsing my song. Nervous was a small word to describe me. I was fidgeting with my fingers and it increased when I heard the voice of a girl singing. 

"Avni" my lips uttered but I did not dare to look up. There could be some other girl with the matching voice. It was possible. Taking in all the courage, I lifted my eyelids only to not blink. There she was! So close, yet so far away! Dozen of tears landed inside me. Avni! My Avni!

I wanted to run away but wasn't fortunate enough. My breaths were uneven when I saw her crying in between. Wasn't it so unfair with her and me too? Why did she come here? Why?! She could've chosen something else. My state had just gotten better and there she was, forcing me to break my promise that I did to myself! I broke apart, again!

I could now only hope for her to not get selected. But the unlucky me, the judges selected her! It saddened me but then I saw that smile on her face that used to bright up my days. 

Minutes later, the red light flickered above the glass door. With a heavy heart, having no other choice, I stood up. One. Two. Three. Every step hammered my heart. Lost, I reached the stage, my eyes finding her. 

And when I did, I started singing.

Dil ka dariya beh hi gaya

I sensed her gaze traveling towards me. Tears brimmed in my tired eyes.

Raahon mein yun jo tu mil gaya

Mushkil se mein sambhla tha haan

Toot gaya hun phir ek dafaa

My eyes did not leave hers as I felt my head tilting in helplessness. 

Baat bigdi hai iss qadar

Dil hai toota, tootay hain hum

I paused, my grip on the mic loosening. Getting myself in place, I looked away. Closing my eyes, I licked my lips knowing that I wasn't able to hold the intensity that she looked at me with.

Tere bin ab na lenge ik bhi dum

Tujhe kitna chaahen aur hum

Tere sath ho jayenge khatam

Tujhe kitna chahen aur hum

I finished, my eyes not still drying. A huge round of applause followed as I looked down, trying to smile. 

"What's your name?" The judge asked. I lifted my gaze up, as I spoke, "Ne-Neil. Neil Khanna."

I looked at Avni. Her eyes were still fixed on me, disbelief written on her face.

"Neil! How can you be so mind blowing?" 

I plastered a smile, mumbling a thank you. "You were fantastic, Neil! Every thing was so good. I don't really have any negative point to look out for. It was just perfect!" 

"Thanks a lot." 

"One thing is there that I want to ask you, may I?" 

I looked at the judge as I nodded. "How was your voice so full of emotions? I mean, it felt like you could relate to what you sang." 

My heart skipped a beat as my eyes traveled to her automatically. "Also, we saw you crying!" 

"Um, actually you may think that I could relate because I admit there sure was something. They say music is the best way to express your emotions," I paused, looking at Avni. "I just expressed my emotions."

"As far as crying is concerned, I don't why I did. But I am sure whatever I do, I do it with all of myself, so may be it was just because of the fact that my dream came true finally." I smiled. 

"Fabulous. Welcome abode Neil Khanna!" The host spoke, guiding me to the direction of the contestants' place.

I didn't have the nerve to look at her though my eyes were still flowing. "Contestant no. 10" was plastered on the seat right next to her. Shit! How could I even forget I was the contestant after her. 

Ignoring the uneven breaths that I exhaled, I sat beside her. "Hi." I murmured, not looking at her. Oh I knew how hard it was to not hug her. She did not say anything. Focusing on to her silence, moments later, I realized that she was whispering something under her breath. It required a lot of concentration after which I was really able to get that she was actually taking my name constantly.

"Neil. Neil. Neil." I heard her say that, second by second. I couldn't help but feel broken again. My heart stopped and hot tears gushed down my eyes. It pained like hell. The feeling was indescribable. My body went numb and all that I heard was her saying my name. Every time I heard it, it stabbed. 

I did not want to break myself into pieces, but I did. Once I couldn't take it anymore, I kept my hand on her trembling ones. All of her movements came to an abrupt stop. She looked at me at an instant. Her eyes full of uncountable emotions and tears. I swear, I hated myself.

"Neil." She whispered, tilting her head sideways. 

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Tan Tanaaa! Hola people! Early one! Was free so thought to write it. 

Okay, so your guesses were right. It was obvious though! I'd accept your smartness if you take your mind to guess what can be coming further! *winks 

And yeah, more of the song sequences are coming up, I hope you enjoy. Also, this one suits the situation so well, ain't it?

Well, do share your views for this one. I hope I did justice to Neil's emotions.

Much Love