Jamie was blind-flying. Cold wind was  whistling through the window. Snot and tears were drying backwards over his face. Desperate as he struggled with the throttle of the shuddering bomber. Jamie was splattered in blood and some of the cockpit windows had been shot out. Jamie looked over at his Co-pilot. The man was slumped, dead and bloody. His eyes were drawn out the window. Men escaped using parachutes from another plane.  Jamie rolled his plane away from the sound of gunfire. The parachutists are shot limp; dead men floated gently on full sails.

Jamie's eyes snapped up in a drunken slur. He jerked the truck toward the side of the road. He overshoots by a few meters and slips into a ditch. Jamie squinted, flailed and cursed as he stripped the gears as he tried to free the truck.

"Damn!" He cursed. His mind internally berated him for over indulging in his 'medicine'. Whenever he was not with Ronsel, those damn flashbacks kept him busy.

'Ronsel..'

Jamie shuts off the engine and slumps across the wheel. Heavy heaves of tears stream down his face. His blubbering, incoherent and drunken voice filled the truck's interior. His eyes dip shut as the knowing slumber succumbs him.

The sound of heavy knocking made Jamie jump back to his senses. It was bright now. The mid-morning sun shined brightly through the truck's glass. Sheriff Thacker, a skinny middle aged man, was knocking on the truck window. Jamie, red-eyed, stubbled and haggard, shouldered a line of drool away. He woke slowly and  dragged his sodden gaze to the window. Henry was seen frowning over the Sheriff’s shoulder. Jamie shuddered and struggled with the car door. Sheriff helped rip it open. Jamie stumbled into the light. His eyes squinted from the harsh change.

"We’ll get it hauled out in the afternoon, Henry." Sheriff Thacker said.

Henry could only nod as he watched his brother. He could barely look at him. Jamie looked at Henry and Henry looked in disgust.

"I'm sorry." Jamie whispered.

Henry just shook his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a quarter past three in the morning and Ronsel's stomach wouldn't stop turning. It's been doing this stunt for weeks but only recently he has been unable to keep it down. He goes out by the chicken coop. It's the furthest from the rooms. No need to disturb his whole family with his retching. Ronsel's head spun with stars. Using the fence as leverage, he balanced himself against it. His stomach finally found ease after expelling its contents. Though, his throat was raw. Ronsel's eyes drifted up to the still deep blue sky. Looking for an answer it could not reply.

Ronsel didn't wake again until the sun was shining strong. He pulled himself out of bed on shaky legs. He pulled on his old pants and the new cream shirt Jamie bought him and stumbled out  to the main area. He could feel his father's eyes on him. His mother moved the used breakfast dishes over to the tub.

He was in for a good tongue lashing.

"It’s half past nine. You just now getting up?" Hap began.

Ronsel shrugged in response. Hap's eyes tracked his son's movements across the floor. Lazily putting one foot before the other. A tired bow to his head and a small haggard breath.

"You just gon’ lay around all day? While your brothers and sisters work? What’s wrong with you?" Hap said. Though his voice was stern, his concern was unmistakable.

'What is wrong with me?', Ronsel thought to himself. His abdomen muscles hurt an awful lot. They reminded him plenty about the night before. Ronsel turned around and faced his father. His face laxed with a small nod.

"Had a rough night pops. Couldn't sleep. I'm sorry about that." Ronsel said.

Hap's face relaxed. "It's alright. Don't make it a habit."

Ronsel nods. "You need any help down by the church? I can pop by and lend a hand or two." He offered. Hap's face lit up at the offer.

"Would be much appreciated."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jamie found it harder to be away from Ronsel. Even harder to stay away from the bottle when he is. He thinks Ronsel has noticed his drunken habit. As their meetings grew more frequent, the more he saw Ronsel push the bottle further and further away. The man hasn't voiced it but it's there in the way that he looks at him. A bit of pity laced his gaze with huge helpings of understanding. As a fellow war hero, he knew what it was like to live with the after effects. Doesn't mean Ronsel fully approves of how he deals with it. Many times in the past three months since their first coupling, Jamie has tried to push the bottle away. Each time he falls deeper and deeper.

He has no purpose. No will to be better. Stuck in monotonous farm life in a mud filled town in the middle of Mississippi.

It was mid morning and Henry and Jamie were out by the cow pen. Henry hammered repairs on an old stool while Jamie finished milking the cow. When Jamie stood, he tripped and  fell over his own two feet.  Spilled milk goes everywhere.  Jamie laughed in a hungover stir.

"You think it’s funny spilling good milk?" Henry said.

"Well you know what they say? No use crying over it.", Jamie laughed. Taking note of Henry's grim expression, Jamie's grin falls into a sarcastic smirk. He pulls a couple of bills and coins from his pocket and hands them to Henry. "What do I owe you, Henry? About a dollar and a half? Let’s just say two to be safe."

Henry slapped his hand away and the money went flying. A clumsy, half-hearted fist-fight ensued between the two men. Both men rolled around and punched each other. It was clear there was no ill-intent behind the brother's blows.

"For Christ’s sake, this ain’t about the money.", Henry snapped.

"Then what do you want from me?"

"For you to be the alpha you are!"

"One pail of spilled milk and I’m not an alpha?"

"You’re sure not acting like one. Disappear for days at a time doing
whatever you damn well please. And when you are here, you’re drunk and stink of a fucking omega. I don't want that around my family. Not my wife!" Henry growled.

Henry delivered a few punches to Jamie's shoulder.

"You don't know your own worth! An alpha ought to know his own worth god dammit!" Henry snapped and pushed the man to the ground.

That ticked the drunken man off. "I don’t answer to you." Jamie retorted and rolled in the mud sloppily trying to get his footing.

"You do when you live in my house and work on my farm." Henry countered.

Jamie rose from his spot on the ground and paced around the pen. The scent of land pissed him off even more. "Oh, well I’m real sorry about that Mr. Boss man. But don’t take it out on me because your little farmer dream ain't working. Ain’t my fault your crops are getting flooded out." Jamie jabbed.

"Well you sure as hell ain’t helping matters. It’s like having another goddamn child to look after."

"You need to open your eyes, big brother. You’re so busy walking around here like God almighty, so wrapped up in yourself and your damn farm you can’t even see your own wife is miserable." Jamie snapped back. Arms flailing and words pointed.

A vein twitched in Henry's forehead.

"Watch your mouth."

"Or what?"

Henry clenched his fists and squared up. Jamie stood his ground. Henry looked his brother dead in the eye. Fists ready to send the first blow.  But the image of the scared boy he rescued from the flood flashes before his eyes. He found restraint.

"Know what? You be whatever kind of man you want. Just go do it someplace else. " Henry sighs.

"I'll go to town."

"I don’t mean just for the night. In the morning I’m going to Greenville for a few days to see about some livestock. I’ll expect you gone when I get back." Henry threatened.

Through the fog of thick pride and anger, both brothers stared at each other. Jamie's mouth left agape while Henry's lips pulled thin. The eldest of the two turned and began walking back to the house leaving a shocked man in his wake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ronsel was walking in the pouring rain. That's the only thing he could think to do in this predicament. Walk down this familiar road like he has done since he was a boy with droplets from the sky beating his back. Ronsel had used a bit of his service pay to visit a doctor. There was only one doctor in town who saw negros.

Dr. Patterman.

An elderly man who some rumored to be part colored.  Though, he dodges the question every time. He didn't want to bother his mother. He has put her through enough worry to last a lifetime. He thought he must have caught something or took a few too many sips of Jamie's 'medicine' than he could hold.

He was far from the truth.

When the doctor contacted him a day later he thought he had some viral infection. Dr. Patterman sat him down that day and explained to him the results. Ronsel had no words to respond.

Pregnant.

About a couple months well, Dr. Patterman said. He remembered how he felt on his abdomen. Told him about the softening tissue and how he could feel where it resided. Luckily, Dr. Patterman isn't one to run his mouth on his patients. Ronsel didn't expect to hear his news on the street anytime soon.

The sound of a car approaching behind made his head perk up. When the engines revved louder, Ronsel's legs went flying. The car swerved and pulled with Ronsel's movements. Ronsel begged his legs not to lose their footing. Ronsel jumped to the side by the soaked treks of dirt. It wasn't until he heard a hearty familiar laugh that all worry disappeared.

"You should’a seen the look on your face." Jamie laughed.

Ronsel frowned. "It ain’t funny."

"Actually, my friend, it was indeed." Jamie laughed.

Ronsel walks over to the truck and throws open the door. Once he climbed in and the door was shut, Ronsel pulled Jamie in for a long kiss. Both mouths were hot on each other and the darker man's hands found themselves between the drivers legs. Just as Jamie was about to unbuckle his belt, Ronsel pulled away and glanced outside the window. Jamie blinked at him in disbelief. Ronsel barely held in his laugh as he started cackling. Jamie's shock delved into the same amusements.

"That…That you got me.."Jamie laughed.

Ronsel smiled. "You’re crazy you know that, right?"

"Can’t argue with that. No, sir."

Jamie pulled off from the side of the road and made headings down the gray colored dirt. Ronsel took a better look at the man. His clothes were covered in dirt and the distinct smell of dairy tinted his scent. He looked like a mess.

"Hey. Is something the matter?" Ronsel questioned.

Jamie falls eerily quiet. He moved to take a swing of his bottle but it was quickly  from his grasp by the omega next to him. Jamie sighs, eyes locked on the road. Knowing he wasn't getting anything out of the man, Ronsel decides to change the topic.

"What's the worst thing you have ever done?" He asked.

Jamie gave him a side glance. " I told you.. That lady. The one at the prison camp." He explained.

Ronsel shook his head. "No…I mean something that hurt somebody real bad. And you knew it was gonna hurt ‘em, but you did it anyway." Ronsel explained.

Jamie wanted to laugh. His omega knew him all too well. "I said some choice words with my brother. Earned quite the beating because of it. I knew it hurt….he was trying to help…But I am too stubborn to see it. Then that is." Jamie mused.

"Might not be too late…" Ronsel said.

"No…no…Even then, it is for the best." Jamie tapped his fingers against the wheel. "This town aint meant for me. I know it. He knows it. I need to free up myself. New horizons sort to speak."

A sudden feeling of dread falls like a brick in his stomach.

"You planning on leaving?" He asked tentatively.

"I got a buddy in Los Angeles. He said he could set me up with some work up west with him. Might take him up on that offer." Jamie explained.

"I see…"

Ronsel didn't know how to feel. The load of all this news just weighed over him like the tankers he used to ride. Jamie noticed that fairly quickly. He reached a hand over and caressed his thigh.

"I want you to come with me Ronsel." He said.

"Me? You mean that Jamie?" Ronsel questioned. Jamie gives a firm nod. A smile spilling from the corners of his mouth. Ronsel smiled too. But he wavered.

"Thinking about your folks?" Jamie questioned.

Ronsel shook his head. "Jamie…I got something to tell you."

Jamie's eyebrows furrowed together. "What is it Ronsel?"

Ronsel turned the words around in his mouth for what felt like a minute. He rests his arms flat on his own thighs. The words wouldn't come out. He digs into his back pocket and removes the papers he got from the Dr. Patterman. He handed the papers over to Jamie who looked at them with slightly squinted eyes.

Jamie nearly drove off the road.

Ronsel gripped the seat tightly and looked over at the stunned man.

"Well?"

Jamie licked his lips. "Well I'll be. You sure?" He questioned.

"Of course I'm sure."

Jamie lets out a weak chuckle. "You are definitely coming to Los Angeles with me now."

A smile cracked on Ronsel's face. Both men devolved into a sweet parade of laughter.

"I'm going to be a daddy." Jamie smiled.

"What are we going to do?"

"We will figure it out my dear. Now, it is time for a celebration!" Jamie exclaimed and turned on the radio.

The radio was playing a nice upbeat song that fits the mood perfectly. Both men were singing along to the tune as they drove down the road. The rain fading away as the sun shone its path for good times.

"Won't you come home, Bill Bailey, won't you come home?" Both men sang in unison. "I moan the whole night long."

"I'll do the cooking, honey, I'll pay the rent", Jamie and Ronsel's eyes met. Happiness was undeniable. "I know that I've done you wrong."

A car makes a turn at the curb up a head. Jamie was first to take notice. His back straightened up and his voice went firm.

"Oh shit, put your head down."

Ronsel was quick to respond to the command. The dust made it hard to see but the road was narrow and soon they passed the oncoming car. Orris drove the blue little car  and Pappy rode shotgun. Jamie looked forward and Ronsel kept his head low. Pappy and Orris craned their necks as the vehicles crossed. Jamie didn't let Ronsel's head go up until the car was long gone.

"You think they saw us?" Ronsel questioned, straightening up.

Jamie looked behind him. "Don't know."

The upbeat atmosphere in the car fizzled out. A tense feeling coated the air. Ronsel leaned back in the chair. He kneaded on his lip as he usually did when he thought.

"Our baby can't stay here. You know that right?" Ronsel began. "When it's born, it's going to be given hell on earth. Maybe worse, if we stay here." Ronsel is no stranger to what happens to those mulatto children that stay. Even more so to the parents who try being together. It always ends up with either a parent hanging from a tree branch or a child becoming a snack for the alligators.

Jamie nods in resignation. He didn't realize he arrived at the Jackson home. He put the car into park and looked Ronsel in the eye. "Let me go first…I'll head up West and get things set up for us up there." Jamie could see the apprehension in Ronsel's gaze. He took his hand. "I'll write to you as much as I can. When we are up there, we will have our pup together. Then I could make you proper." Jamie leaned in and took a sniff of his scent gland.

Ronsel looked away. Jamie turned his head to face him. "I promise. You hear me Ronsel!"

Ronsel gives a simple nod. "I believe you Jamie." Ronsel finally said. Jamie peered past Ronsel’s head to make sure no Jackson family members were taking a peep. Once cleared, Jamie cupped his cheeks and gave Ronsel one breathtaking kiss. Hearts thumped  They  in the interest of time. Ronsel bent his lip before giving a sure nod. He opened the door.

"I'll hold you to it." Ronsel replied and slipped out of the truck. Jamie didn't drive off until Ronsel was safe inside of his home. Jamie placed the truck into drive and drove back to his brother's home. He had some packing to do.