Well, the larger cuts of meat had survived a partial thaw, but the smaller cuts we had kept in a smaller bundle had already begun to spoil, ending up tossed into the woods far away from the Sanctuary so as not to attract predators to the area.

We'd carried the bundle of still mostly frozen meat back into the Sanctuary, down the stairs and through the main chamber as various Family members glanced at us before shaking their head and turning back to whatever they were doing before. After all, as far as they could see, all we were doing was carrying a bundle of wet cloth inside a sling that dripped cold water on the ground.

Neither Cicero nor I were about to admit we had purposely dropped the bundle in front of the Pretender's desk, leaving a huge wet puddle for her to deal with as we had made our way smirking down the stairs. When we made out way to the kitchen area I had run out of not too long ago, a frowning Babette had met us with her arms crossed. I'd barely been able to keep myself from patting her head like I used to do with Bastian when he used to pout.

Don't worry, Child Who is Not. I had no plans to avoid your questioning. I simply wanted to see if the venison had spoiled or not. Good news, it was still frozen enough we didn't have to throw it all out! Only the little bundle we had kept separate for daily meals! Oh, but I still can't believe I forgot to bring it in with us. Stupid me!

As soon as the cloth had been carefully set down to begin sorting into containers for storage, I went to smack my forehead as I did sometimes when I felt extra foolish. A hand quickly reached out and snagged my wrist, a soft tsk sounding from beside me.

"Silly Faith, talking like she is the only one who forgot. Cicero was there too and he did not remember. Is Faith going to smack his forehead too?" Hearing his words, I looked over, only to find myself staring into those soothingly familiar honey-brown eyes the Jester Assassin seemed almost to unconsciously use against me.

Sometimes I wondered if he knew the effect that his eyes had on me, soothing the almost constant need to shift and move about, even if just my fingers tapping or plucking at loose threads. When he pressed his forehead against mine as I stood there silently, I barely noticed other than his eyes were suddenly even closer, easier to drown myself within.

"Faith should be careful. If she lets Cicero continue to get so close, at some point he might not be able to stop himself. And Faith has already made it clear that she wants more than he is able to give. Faith wants forever," his warm breath brushed across my lips as he spoke, although it took a moment for the words he spoke to sink into my muddled mind.

It was only when he slowly pulled back, his eyes finally blinking as he turned back to the task at hand, that I realized what had nearly happened. And that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't mind if it was just a 'for now' with him.

"Why do you let him get so close to you?" I turned so quickly at the unexpected voice, my feet nearly caught on each other if not for Amicus catching me in time to keep from tumbling to the ground.

Staring at the young Destin as he stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the communal sleeping area, I frowned at him. Behind me, I could hear my Jester Assassin continue organizing the cuts of meat, setting some out to thaw further for a meal while others were grouped according to whether they would be refrozen or salted and dried for longer storage.

And what business of yours is it if I choose to let him get close to me? You might be part of this Family, but you have no say in who I decide to spend my time with. Nor do you have any say in who I care for or how I care for them. If I chose to have him as my friend, that is between him and I.

I could feel my face grow warm as I mouthed the words, but I refused to look away from the vivid blue-green eyes before me.

And if he ever becomes my lover, then that too is none of your concern.

"So you're not lovers? Thank the Divine! I'd thought-"

"It is only because lovely Faith does not want to claim Cicero as such, not because he is unwilling. Faith wants a forever and Cicero cannot offer that while he is Keeper. But that does not mean that he will allow just anyone to think they can have her for themselves. So if the initiate thinks he will be able to sweep pretty Faith off her feet, then he had best be prepared to prove himself," Cicero's voice cut through the room like a dagger slicing across a neck, silence following his words for only a moment.

"Divines no! I'm not about to go chasing after someone I just met!" The young man shouted the words, his eyes wide as he shook his head at the Jester Assassin.

"If he has no interest, then why does he open his mouth like an idiot and spew such words in front of someone who only stays his blade because the Tenets forbid it? What makes him think he has the right to an opinion in this? If anyone should be complaining about how close the man is getting to you, it should be me!" Ellery scowled as he stormed over from where he'd been lounging against a wall, firelight flickering across his face. "Why are you letting him worm his way into your heart? Don't you always talk about wanting someone who will stay beside you forever? Isn't that why neither Amicus nor I proved to be good enough as lovers? Because we strayed from your side, even though we returned eventually? What is to say that he will not leave your side as soon as he's had what he wants? How are we supposed to protect you, if you are the one who causes the pain?"

Turning away from everyone else, I stared at Ellery and felt myself shrink inward as my arms wrapped around myself.

I don't know, Ellery. Not why the boy thinks to involve himself in something that is not his to concern himself with and not with why I find myself falling for our kind friend even though he will never really be mine. Perhaps I am the one who should be called a fool, for truly I must be foolish to let someone into my heart who has made it clear he will not be able to stay there.

Looking up, I met Ellery's eyes as tears began to gather within my own.

What do I do, Ellery, when my mind says to wait for someone who will stay by my side, but my heart yearns for even a temporary reprieve from the loneliness it feels? Tell me what to do, Ellery.