-

Therapy is hard.

Jungkook never thought that it would be this hard.

He has had 3 sessions so far with Doctor Hyunsik, who was recommended by doctor Seojoon. And all 3 times Jungkook had felt worse than he did before.

The first two times, Taehyung had been there for support but the 3rd time, Jungkook had gone alone.

It was on the doctor's recommendation, that Jungkook come alone for sessions as it would be easier for him to open up without having to be cautious of his mate.

Jungkook hadn't agreed at all with that. For him, Taehyung was his safe place, his comfort, the one who Jungkook could run to and know that the Alpha will protect him. But Taehyung had taken the doctor's recommendation to heart and agreed to it, telling Jungkook that perhaps it would help him.

It didn't help. Because without Taehyung by his side, Jungkook felt too exposed, too vulnerable.

It was, perhaps, wrong in a way with how dependent Jungkook had grown on the Alpha, but he cannot help it.

His mind associates Taehyung with safety. In Jungkook's mind, Taehyung will always be the one he would sought out when things got hard.

And so, without Taehyung by his side, Jungkook felt like he would crumble under the pressure.

The session started off bland, without any effort from Jungkook because he just wasn't feeling like talking. The doctor asked him about his life, about his thoughts but what can Jungkook say when all his mind was supplying were those hurtful words he cannot block out.

And in those words, in that storm brewing inside his head, a tiny voice kept calling for his alpha, kept urging him to just go to his alpha.

When the session ended, Jungkook just felt drained, too tired to do anything.

It was exhausting, to keep feeling like this, to feel like you cannot be fixed.

The therapist told him on the first meeting that he can "get over" the trauma and "move on" from it.

But was it really something that Jungkook wanted?

Why does everyone expect him to get over it? Albeit, they expect him to do it with time, but just why ?

Jungkook doesn't want to "get over it". He doesn't.

Because for him, it's not something to get over. It's not a small thing that he can just forget with time and pretend that it never happened.

Maybe it worked for others, but it won't work for him. He knows that.

He doesn't want to just forget and move on. He wants to acknowledge that it happened, accept that it happened and remember that it happened. Even years from now, Jungkook wants to remember that it happened and that he didn't just survive it, he wants to remember that he won.

Just getting over the trauma and moving on means you are simply surviving. And Jungkook doesn't want to just survive.

Surviving means you will be called a "survivor".

And Jungkook, he doesn't want to be called that.

Jungkook wants to face the trauma head on, make his peace with it and learn to make a space for the trauma in his life, so that he remembers and knows that he won, that he beat what was keeping him shackled.

Only then, can jungkook be called a warrior.

Because he will know that he fought with his demons, and he won.

The only problem with what Jungkook wants is that it's not easy.

Even the therapist had told him that.

Cognitive Behavioural therapy. That's what it's called.

It will help Jungkook by exploring his emotions, memories and fears, all of which will help him come to terms and accept what had happened to him.

The therapist had strongly urged Jungkook to not take this route. With Jungkook's history of anxiety and panic attacks, it would only do more harm than good.

Atleast that's what the therapist thinks. But Jungkook is adamant. He wants this. He needs to do this.

So when the therapist had advised Jungkook to atleast talk to his mate about it, Jungkook had hesitantly agreed.

Now, the question is, how would Taehyung react ?

-

Taehyung got off the phone with Jungkook's therapist, who had explained a lot of things to him about what Jungkook needs versus what Jungkook wants.

You see, because Jungkook's trauma had drastically affected his mental and physical health, the therapist had the obligation to inform Jungkook's caregiver of any new developments.

And now Taehyung was in a dilemma.

He knew, that Jungkook was capable of making his own decisions.

But should he stop Jungkook if the decision was going to harm him?

It was a little over 6 when Taehyung stepped inside the house.

The house was filled with the smell of spices, and beautiful aromatic food.

He found Jungkook in the kitchen, wearing a baby blue apron and looking so soft and so beautiful.

Jungkook was staring at the soup he was making, his eyes angry as he tried to figure out what the soup was missing. He wanted to make it like Yoongi makes it.

"Baby?", Taehyung softly spoke, walking up to hug Jungkook from behind, pressing a soft kiss on the omega's nape.

Jungkook stilled then blushed. He will never get used to touches like this.

"Hey. How was work?", Jungkook mumbled, hands stirring the soup with a wooden spoon.

Taehyung rested his chin on the omega's shoulders, one hand coming to hold onto Jungkook's hand which was holding the spoon, stirring the soup together.

"It was meh. I missed you terribly. Jin hyung was being a menace in the office. "

Jungkook giggled. "Why a menace?"

Taehyung huffed, "one of our projects got messed up so he went off at the projects team for poor management.  Then proceeded to call out everyone in their lack of dedication. Even scolded me for slacking off"

Jungkook took the lid to cover the soup, turning the stove off and turned around, only to find himself stuck in Taehyung's embrace as the Alpha hugged him tightly, body shifting slightly to lean on the counter as he inhaled Jungkook's sweet scent, feeling content.

"Your therapist called", Taehyung mumbled, noticing how Jungkook's body reacted at that. "Anything you wanna talk about baby?"

Jungkook stayed quiet, just hiding his face in Taehyung's chest. It took a few seconds for him to respond.

"You think it's a bad idea, don't you?", Jungkook asked, already knowing that the therapist must have informed Taehyung about everything.

Taehyung pulled away from the hug, taking the apron off his mate, then taking Jungkook's hands into his and guided him to the sofa in the living room.

Plopping down, he gestured for Jungkook to sit too.

As both of them got comfortable, with Jungkook's head on Taehyung's shoulders, and Taehyung's hand on Jungkook's waist, the other hand playing with Jungkook's fingers, Taehyung answered.

"What the therapist told me was that it is a bad idea. But I want to hear your reasons for wanting this first koo. I don't care about what the therapist says, I just need to know what you want and why. So tell me your reasons baby"

Jungkook felt relief at that. This was why Taehyung was his safe place. The Alpha always wanted to hear Jungkook first. Wanted to know what Jungkook feels first. And it made Jungkook feel like he mattered. Like he was finally being heard.

"I... I don't want to just survive Tae. Hyunsik-nim keeps telling me that I can move on from it. That I can get over it. But I don't want that. I don't want to just forget about it and move on. I want to remember. I want to accept it. And I want to remember it as something that had happened to me and that it didn't break me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Taehyung hummed. He understood it. He knows what Jungkook means. His mate didn't want the easy way out. His mate wanted to be a fighter and make his peace with his trauma. And that was such a courgeous thing.

"I understand baby. You are so brave Koo. That's the reason why you want to take up cognitive behavioural therapy?"

Jungkook nodded. "Yes. I know the risks. But I also know that as long as I have you by my side, the anxiety and panic attacks won't get to me. The voices won't get to me. You.. you make it all go away. So..... so I want this Tae. "

Taehyung exhaled, before pressing a soft lingering kiss on Jungkook's scalp.

"Okay. "

Jungkook turned around, wide eyed, "Okay?"

He was surprised that Taehyung agreed so easily.

"Yeah, okay", Taehyung confirmed.

Seeing the look of surprise on Jungkook's face, he chuckled, "why do you look so surprised baby? I will always support you in your decisions koo. As long as I know you will be okay, I will support you in anything you want to do"

Jungkook blushed, biting his lips as his eyes casted down, unable to look at Taehyung.

Taehyung stared endeared at his blushing mate. He leaned forward, kissing Jungkook softly on the cheeks, before resting their foreheads together.

"Let's make a small space for your trauma in our lives baby. I'll help you live it out until you heal. In return, you let me hold your hand whenever I want to. Deal?"

Jungkook smiled shyly, nodding, "deal".

-
Hey everyone.

I know I was supposed to update yesterday but then the announcement about the enlistment dropped. I just didn't know how to feel, honestly.

I'm proud of our boys. But also a little upset. 2 years without them seems like torture.

These 7 boys don't have any idea what they mean to so many people. They have saved so many lives through their music and just by being themselves. I'm one of those people they have saved. And it just feels like my safe place is going to disappear for 2 years.

But nonetheless, I will be patient and I will wait for 2025 when I can finally see them again, together. The wait will be torturous no doubt, but it will be worth it.

On another note, cognitive behavioural therapy is something I had taken as a means to come to terms with my past. It's not easy and is not recommended for people with anxiety. But it is highly effective.

Hope you like this filler chapter which begins the journey for healing and self love.

Borahae dear readers and thank you for waiting patiently.

Also, can someone explain to me how this book went from 5k reads to 6k in a matter of 4 days?

Who is practicing witchcraft????