Hello my lovely people! If you saw my rant yesterday, then fear not for I am perfectly fine 😁 I was a tad bit pissed but now I'm good.. so let's get this show started!

Trigger warning: Depressive thoughts 🙂  please don't read if you are triggered easily.

-

There are days when Jungkook's brain just refuses to shut up. The mental images, the hurtful words and the snippets of things that he doesn't remember happening just keeps circulating and he cannot stop it.

It becomes so difficult to point out the real parts and the fake ones that are made up by his mind and Jungkook, for the love of God cannot help but cower away in fear.

The images, they aren't pretty. Just splashes of so many things blending into each other, some include Taehyung and their past, some include new faces and some include the old ones he cannot identify.

The words, they become blurred, haunting, some clear while the others ambiguous, and it hurts Jungkook's mind to even try to focus and figure out what is real and what is not.

Most of these images and words are of Jungkook's past with Taehyung, and it hurts all the same, like a wound being ripped open, like a can of maggots just left there to scatter and multipy.

It's nauseating, and absolutely horrifying, especially when all Jungkook wants is for his mind to stop playing this horrible game with him.

But it doesn't stop. It never stops once it starts, until all Jungkook could do is break down exhausted, and let his omega wolf take over, disassociating himself from the world.

It all started when Taehyung made his actions of care a little too extra and well, intimate.

That was the first straw. Jungkook's brain kept repeating the same words again and again, that he didn't deserve it. That he didn't deserve all this care and affection.

He feels like a fraud, like someone who took the place of another person, a person that would be just perfect for Taehyung.

He feels like an imposter, just posing as the mate of a strong and highly desirable alpha, who, Jungkook has so selfishly binded to himself just because of a stupid bond.

That thought of not deserving the Alpha's affection just multiplied, until his head started screaming other phases at him.

You are a disgrace for an omega.

How can an omega be the heir for the jeon empire?

Just who do you think you are? An orphan who is so ungrateful for the help he has been given?

You are undeserving of anyone's love.

Your parents left you because they couldn't bear your presence since your birth.

You are an orphan, a child unloved.

You are unloved.

You are undeserving.

You did not deserve kindness.

You do not deserve the wealth.

You do not deserve a family.

You do not deserve Taehyung.

Undeserving..

You do not deserve it.

You do not deserve to live.

Do not deserve it.

Do not....

"STOP! Stop just stop! Go away. Stop. Make it stop", Jungkoook screamed in helplessness and fear, trying so hard to make all the voices go away. Jungkook was so gone in his fear and panic, that he didn't notice the blaring ring tone of his phone or the repeated knocks on the door of the house. The voices, they kept Jungkook bound and he cried in frustration, cried to make it stop.

But it didn't help, and in the emptiness of the house, an omega stayed caged up in the personal hell his mind had created for him, with no one there to help him break free.

All alone in the cage that he was bound to by his own fate.

-

Taehyung was restless. Since morning, when he had woken his baby with a sweet kiss on the nose and a promise to come home early, his heart was restless and unsettled.

Something felt wrong. Taehyung could just feel it in his gut.

Even his wolf was restless, angsty.

And now that phone call from Yugyeom, enquiring about Jungkook's whereabouts. Jungkook was supposed to meet Yugyeom today to discuss the first 20 chapters of his new book and yet, the omega had failed to show up at the decided time. Even the calls were unrecieved.

It was so unlike Jungkook, who always took pride in his career as a writer.

And when Yugyeom had called Taehyung, asking and kind of panicking, Taehyung was too gone in his fear to even think straight.

Yugyeom had said that he had gone to their residence and knocked on the door countless times, but it seemed like the omega wasn't home.

And Taehyung was now super worried.

If Jungkook wasn't home and he didn't go to meet Yugyeom, then where was his mate?

A quick phone call to Jimin had told him that Jungkook wasn't with Yoongi either. Jin was at the office with Taehyung so he was out of the question.

Jungkook's parents were out of the country so they were out.

Taehyung knew Jungkook won't go to his parents because firstly, the omega will never want to worry his in laws. And secondly, the Kim's would be the last place Jungkook would disappear to.

So where exactly was Jungkook?

Taehyung hated himself so much right now. Hated that he was unmarked by the omega, Hated that he couldn't in any possible way know where his mate was unless Jungkook opens the bond.

With a panicked mind, Taehyung got into his car and drove to his house, praying that he finds some kind of clue there as to Jungkook's whereabouts.

What he wasn't expecting to find though, was his mate right there inside the house.

Hurried feet carried him to Jungkook's room, the door shut, but distressed pheromones and whimpers coming from inside the room.

"Baby? Jungkook? Please open up?", Taehyung tried speaking, before his hands tried the handle on the door.

It was unlocked, thank god.

If you asked Taehyung weeks ago about what his biggest fear was, he would tell you "heights and spiders".

But in this moment, his biggest fear was seeing Jungkook like this.

He wished he never saw his mate like this, ever again.

For hunched in a corner, legs pulled up to his chest and head hidden in those arms, his mate sat whimpering and crying, little murmurs of "Please stop. Make it stop" could be heard and Taehyung, he could feel his heart breaking at the state of his mate.

Tentative footsteps made their way towards Jungkook, who didn't seemed to notice the presence of another person.

Tender hands gripped on Jungkook's shoulder, Taehyung crouching down on his own knees to cradle the crying omega in his arms.

Jungkook was so out of it. Eyes unfocused, just staring at the wall, lips whimpering and body slightly shaking, the younger looked so broken and so fragile that Taehyung felt tears prick his eyes and fall down his own cheeks.

"Jungkookie, baby, it's me, Taehyung.  Can you hear me angel? Come back to me baby please ", Taehyung softly asked, more like begged but the omega wasn't listening, couldn't even focus on reality as his mind kept indulging him in the little maze it had created.

"Baby, please"

Jungkook suddenly jerked, as if Taehyung's touch burned him, legs kicking as he distanced himself from the Alpha, screaming incoherently.

"NO PLEASE N-no! I'm s-sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll b-be better. I'll do better. Don't..  don't hurt me please.. don't throw me in there... I'll behave... halm- I'll be good.... please........I don't deserve it all... I know I don't deserve it... I'm useless.... I'm pathetic... I- I will be better please ha- please.... I'm s-sorry...d-dont h-hurt me... please.. i-i'm sorry"

Taehyung stayed seated on the floor, frozen in his place as the weight of those words pierced his heart, making him see red and feel immense pain.

The trauma.

Something triggered Jungkook's trauma.

Now, Taehyung wasn't an expert in dealing with people who have trauma or have gone through a traumatic experience. He was rather clueless, but his wolf and his instincts apparently had another plan in mind.

His wolf urged him to go to his mate, whose hands were bleeding due to the shattered glass from the broken frame that jungkook seems to have dropped earlier.

"Baby please... it's me baby, Tae.... your Tae.....come back to me please...you're hurt... angel please.."

Jungkook didn't stop crying, neither did he stop panicking.

So Taehyung did the only thing he could think of....

He.....

...

...

...

He......... hugged him tightly, ignoring the panicked cries and the screaming, ignoring the scratching and the tears. He released his pheromones, overtaking every other scent in the room and as Jungkook's body gave up after a while, too exhausted, unmoving, Taehyung picked him up, taking him to bed, tucking him in slowly.

He didn't leave the room all day and night, just checking in on Jungkook  incase the younger had a nightmare. Which the omega did. Countless times.

The omega woke up screaming, thrashing in his bed, just begging it to stop.

For what to stop, Taehyung didn't know.

And god was it frightening to see his sweet koo like that...

But Taehyung, he really couldn't do anything as of now.

Truth be told, Taehyung doesn't know what to do anymore.

-
be honest, how many of you thought that Taehyung was going to kiss Jungkook..? 😂😂

We are finally approaching the topic of "trauma". It will get angsty asf from here onwards so fair warning in advance. And it will be painful and triggering so... I'll pray for you all and supply tissues if required. 😇🥺

Now... since there were a few clues mentioned in this chapter, any theories ???

ekinahmd98_ use your witch powers ! 😏😏

Thoughts for this chapter? Did I do it justice??