Before you start to read: I left a hint in the previous chapter, in my explanation but I don't think anyone got it. So, let's see if you realize it now.

Warning tag: Panic Attack

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The cheery lights and delicious aroma did very little to calm Jungkook's mind, especially when he was looking forward to just keeping to himself and retreating into the sanctuary of his room.

But apparently, his mate had other plans.

Displayed on the dining table were a variety of food, each a different assortment as if the organiser was unsure of what to prepare.

Which was partially true, as Taehyung didn't really know what his mate's preference was.

Jungkook stared at the nervous face of his mate, along with the excited faces of Jin, Namjoon and Hosoek, all of who were anxiously standing, waiting for his acceptance to have dinner with them.

Jungkook hesitated, just for a brief second until he saw just how excited Jin and the others looked minus his mate, finally being able to see the younger who had been avoiding them for a while now.

After that one night where Taehyung had politely asked them all (including Jin's parents) to leave as Jungkook was getting too overwhelmed, the elder had been unable to reach out to Jungkook.

Jungkook let out a strained smile, hesitantly accepting the dinner offer, walking quietly to take a seat at the dinner table.

The others followed, quietly sitting down as well while Taehyung proceeded to fill up their glasses with red wine.

"Kookie, how are you?", Jin asked softly, hoping the young omega would open up a bit.

As time passed and weeks turned into months, Jungkook had become like a living doll, void of emotions, almost robotic in nature. It worried him gravelly, to see that the young omega was falling back into the abyss of his past worries and unhappiness.

Jungkook was just simply refusing to let himself open up to healing.

And Jin could see that very clearly

Jin won't lie, he was surprised to see his younger brother stop by his office unannounced the day before. He had cursed Taehyung out first, taunting him about his mistakes but then Taehyung had surprised him when he had actually admitted to it himself, apologizing and saying that he was regretting it all.

Taehyung had voiced out his worries about Jungkook and his health. Had proceeded to explain how Jungkook had become a shell of a person, almost lifeless.

Taehyung had explained how he had tried to reach the young omega in every way he knew, but the young omega had simply refused to open up.

It was worrying no doubt, considering how Jin could see those dark circles and pale skin, the weight loss and the haggered appearance of the younger.

It was like Jungkook didn't get better at all, infact the younger looked worse than he did before.

Jin wanted to help, but the truth was, even he didn't know how to.

None of them could do anything until Jungkook decided to let them help. You can only lead the cow to the well, but you can't force it to drink if it didn't want to. This situation with the young omega was the same.

They can't help Jungkook until Jungkook allows them to help.

"I'm okay Hyung. How are you guys? Hoseok hyung, I heard you found your mate. You must be so excited", Jungkook replied almost robotically, like he was programmed to say that he was okay.

Hoseok smiled at the young omega, heart warming as he thought of his newly found mate.

"Yes kook. I found her and we are taking it slow. It's a huge change so it is a little hard."

Jungkook nodded before proceeding to poke at his plate, the food making him almost nauseous.

The others exchanged sad glances, knowing the omega was still shutting himself off.

The dinner was awkward, the hyungs just talking to Jungkook, trying to cheer him up but it seemed to make no difference at all.

Jungkook didn't smile genuinely once throughout the dinner.

When the others left, Jungkook found himself retreating to his room, only to stop when Taehyung held onto his hand.

"Jungkook. Can we please talk?", Taehyung asked softly, removing his hand as he realized he had touched the younger without permission. When he had seen Jungkook leaving, his mind had short circuited and all he could think about was to get the other to stop and make him stay. He didn't even realize he had held onto the omega's hand until now.

"Why are you doing this Taehyung?", Jungkook asked tiredly.

Taehyung frowned, confused. "Doing what Jungkook?"

Jungkook turned around to face the Alpha, eyes cast down as he tried to focus on the ground rather than the Alpha's presence. It was suffocating him.

"This. All these sweet gestures and these efforts. Please stop. If you are doing this to make me stay then don't worry, I am staying. I'm not leaving. You don't have to do all this. "

Taehyung's heart saddened, a strange ache taking over," why do you think I am doing this only to make you stay Jungkook? I know I was a bad mate to you before, a very bad mate but I did tell you I would try to be better. I'm not doing this to make you stay, I'm doing this because I should have done this ages ago. I'm doing this because I want to make up for my mistakes, because I want to fix the damage that I inflicted "

"No", Jungkook snapped, his eyes glaring directly at Taehyung's. "You can't. You just can't. You have to stop"

Taehyung frowned, trying to understand what was happening. Jungkook sounded almost tired and drained, like he was just done with everything and yet, Taehyung heard that panic in his voice.

"But why? Tell me please. Explain it to me. Why can't I repent for my mistakes? I need to know why you won't let me repent and gain your forgiveness Jungkook, because honestly I don't understand"

Jungkook let out a frustrated cry, his mind was in shambles and he himself didn't know what he was actually doing and why.

He felt panicked, his mind drawing up blank as he tried to think of the reason but all he felt was like he was hitting a blank wall, like his mind was refusing to let him look at the reason. All he could think of was that he didn't deserve it, but he didn't know the reason why.

"I don't know okay? I just... I... you cannot change. You cannot just change turn into this angel all of a sudden. You just can't. You cannot suddenly change for me like this. I... I don't want that.. I.. I don't even deserve that"

Taehyung took a step back as Jungkook's words registered in his brain.

"I don't even deserve that"

What did Jungkook mean by that?

"Jungkook. I.. I know what I'm doing isn't enough but I'm trying, please. I'll do better I promise. I'll show you that I can do better. I know you deserve better now, I'll try to be even better for you but you have to let me in, please Jungkook, just let me in", Taehyung was nearly in tears now, praying to all the gods out there that his mate atleast gives him a chance to prove his words true.

Jungkook shook his head in a furious "no". He was finding it hard to breathe, his hands getting all sweaty and his chest all aching. It was like his brain was unable to register that it had to breathe. Like his brain had forgotten how to breathe. He was feeling hazy, his head pounding and his body felt like giving up.

"No no no, that's.. that's not...what I meant. I don't.. don't deserve your sweet gestures. They were never...never meant for me," Jungkook choked on his words, trying to breathe but he just simply couldn't, "I... I don't deser..."

Taehyung panicked when he realized that the young omega was unable to breathe. Jungkook crouched down in pain, his mind hyperventilating, unable to grasp anything except his need to tell his mate that he didn't deserve anything....

"Jungkook, baby... please breathe. Breathe baby. Take a deep breath. Just.. just focus on me.. focus on me, deep breaths, please baby.. breathe", Taehyung was holding onto the omega now, pulling him into his embrace as his hands gently rubbed the omega's back, asking him to breathe over and over again.

"It's okay. You are okay. I won't ask any more questions. Just breathe for me please. Baby, please just breathe okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Breathe.. take a deep breath"

It took a while for Jungkook to start breathing normally but his mind was still in shambles. He was long gone in his panic to even realize what he was saying.

All throughout, Taehyung couldn't stop Jungkook's words from filling his mind.

"...don't deserve your sweet gestures..."

"....never meant for me..."

He couldn't wrap his brain around it. What exactly did Jungkook mean, that he didn't deserve it?

When Jungkook had initially said that, Taehyung had assumed that Jungkook meant he deserved better than his pathetic attempts, but now, with the way Jungkook was whimpering and shaking, Taehyung realized it was very much different from what he had imagined.

There was something wrong with Jungkook, something very wrong and Taehyung couldn't help but worry.

Why was his mate so sure that he didn't deserve all this from Taehyung?

Just what had happened to Jungkook to make him feel like he didn't deserve good things?

Keeping what Taehyung did to Jungkook aside, there must be something else that had happened to Jungkook, because there was no way Jungkook had a panic attack because of his sweet gestures. Sure, he had given Jungkook so much pain in the past but this fear that he was seeing in the omega's eyes, it was terrifying. It was deeply rooted.

Jungkook looked scared to death, and the omega himself was mumbling things.. things that didn't make sense to Taehyung but chilled him to the bone.

"I'm sorry... I'll do better...please stop... please...I don't deserve this... please.. stop.. no..no......nooo please..... I don't.. I'm sorry....no...stop..please..stop"

Taehyung could feel that raw fear from his mate and his mind came up with an answer as clear as day, yet Taehyung wasn't ready to accept it just yet.

It couldn't be what he thinks it is. It just can't be that.

Taehyung couldn't let himself believe that what his mind had supplied as the reason for his omega's panic attack is real.. because he would do anything, give anything for it to not be true.

Something like that cannot have happened to Jungkook. Not to the precious omega that Taehyung has come to cherish.

Please God, no.

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How many of you smart cookies figured it out?

There are many layers to Jungkook. I just discussed a few in the last chapter. More will be revealed as the story progresses and I will be giving warning tags beforehand.

I'm really going to be breaking a lot of hearts with the way this story is progressing and by what I'm planning so I'm sorry in advance.

Hope you liked this chapter.