Chapter 16
Before I start this chapter, I just want to thank everyone who is reading this.
I never expected this book to get 700+ reads so soon. So I'm honestly surprised at the positive reaction.
Also, many of you guys have been messaging me and commenting if I'm okay since I'm writing so much angst 😅😅. I'm okay guys, honestly. I know undocile was fluffy asf but I wanted to try writing angst too. So I hope I'm doing it justice (judging by your messages, I think I am😂😂)
Again, thank you for reading and supporting this book. You guys make me want to write more💜
Noonz♡
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The storm outside had passed when morning came, but the storm brewing in the hearts of the two mates didn't settle down.
Taehyung didn't leave the spot he was in last night, still sitting outside Jungkook's door, just staring at the wood, willing it to open with his mind.
The tears had drained by now, the bond was also closed. Jungkook had shut himself off from Taehyung again, and for once, Taehyung didn't want that.
Yes. The bond being open meant having to live through Jungkook's pain, but it was still what Taehyung needed.
He didn't care about his suffering, if he was being honest. He deserved to suffer and so much more. He willed his mind and his heart to take the pain, all the pain that he had previously bestowed on his mate, any pain that would make him feel even half of what he gave to the younger.
The bond being open meant that Taehyung could atleast feel that Jungkook was there with him. Even if it was far away from his reach, atleast his mate was still there.
Taehyung had heard Jungkook's soft whimpers and cries throughout the night, as the bond ached even badly as his mate shed those tears, and he was feeling like utter shit.
This pain, the one that he was feeling deep inside his heart, wasn't just Jungkook's. It was his own as well. His own emotions of guilt and regret.
That mixed with Jungkook's pain of suffering and anger made it even worse to bear, and yet, he found himself wanting to feel it more.
It bought his mind a little rest, knowing he was being punished just a little for his actions even though it didn't feel enough.
His cell phone rang somewhere in the living room and Taehyung slowly stood up to walk towards it.
He paused, eyes flickering to the door as he took hesitant steps towards it, leaning his forehead against the wood, hoping his words reach his broken mate.
"Jungkook, I know you don't want to see me right now. And I deserve it. I deserve all of it. But I... fuck... I'm not good with words. Especially when it comes to you. All I've ever said to you have been words of hate and I understand why you don't believe me when I say I am sorry for everything..."
He takes a sharp breath as his ears picked up on a soft sniffle, hands touching the wood of the door a little more tightly, as if trying to feel the warmth of his mate who he knew was just behind that door.
"I know I can't fix anything in one night. I know I can't fix what I have broken. What I destroyed with my own hands but I'm going to try. I promise. I never gave you any joy or any reason to love me. Or even accept me. But you did so anyway. Because you are just so pure. So good. You are too good for me. And you are right. You deserve better than me. Much better. You deserve someone who loves you for every little thing, because you are amazing as you are and I was a fool to never see that. I must have been blind for four years to never notice just how blessed I was to have gotten you as my better half. And for that I am most regretful..."
Taehyung turned around, back pressing against the door now, eyes flicking to the ceiling as he continued as softly as he could,
"It may not mean much, but I realize now that I was really a monster. You are just too pure for me and I ended up destroying that. I know you closed the bond because you are too kind. But... but I beg you, please keep it open. I need to feel what I did to you so that I can do right by you this time. Please. I know you won't give me a second chance. I don't deserve it at all. But I'm going to try anyway because I'm selfish. I'm so selfish. I should let you go, let you find your happiness in someone else but I, God, I can't bear the thought of you leaving. So I'm going to try to make it all better. I'll try to become a better person for you. I'll try my best even if it means trying for all my life. I'll still do it. I'll wait for your forgiveness. I'll work for it. Even if it takes years. Even if takes all my life. I'll wait. And I'll keep trying because I know, now that you are the best thing that could ever happen to me and I'm too selfish to let that go. I'm sorry Jungkook. I'm so sorry", Taehyung choked on his tears as he stepped away from the door, hesitant fingers touching the wood ever so softly, imagining touching Jungkook's soft cheeks.
Taehyung walked to the living room to look for his phone which had stopped ringing, picking it up and looking at the missed call.
Jimin.
It was Jimin. He hesitated before pressing the call back button. He hasn't talked to Jimin after that day in the hospital, knowing his bestfriend was very angry with him so it was a surprise to see his missed call.
"Hello", Jimin's voice filtered through the speaker as Taehyung took a deep breath, calming his emotions so that his voice didn't crack.
"Jimin. You called? Is everything alright?", He asked quietly, moving away from the living room to the kitchen, pulling out pieces of bread to toast, and turning on the coffee machine.
"Yes. Yoongi has been calling Jungkook since last night but he hasn't been answering. Is he alright? Or did you fuck up again?", Jimin didn't even try to hide his disdain and Taehyung gulped harshly, reminding himself that he deserved all of this.
"He's...in his room right now. And I don't think he is okay. Maybe Yoongi can come and visit him to check on him?", Taehyung avoided that last question of Jimin's, because he himself doesn't know if he did fuck up again or not.
Jimin sighed in the receiver, "Yoongi is already on his way there. He left when you didn't pick up as well. Please let him in when he gets there. And Tae?"
Taehyung hesitated before answering, the change in Jimin's tone was very obvious, the softness hard to deny.
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?", Jimin asked softly.
Taehyung let out a soft sigh. Was he okay?
"I'm okay Jimin. Don't worry about me. "
"I'm still your bestfriend even though you are a moron. So ofcourse I'll worry. Did you talk to Jungkook? Apologise?", Jimin probed, hoping Taehyung had taken an initiative to try to make things better.
Taehyung hastily placed the toast in the plate with one hand, the other hand clutching on the phone in a desperate attempt to find some grounding.
"Yeah. I did. He.. he won't forgive me so easily Jimin. But I'm going to work on gaining his forgiveness, however long it takes. I just hope I don't fuck it up"
Jimin snorted as he replied," You do have an ability to mess it up. But don't worry Taehyung. Time heals all wounds. Jungkook needs time to heal. And you need to show him that you truly regret what you did and that you are guilty. It will all be okay in the end. So have a little faith, yeah?"
Taehyung nodded letting out a soft, "yeah"
The doorbell rang, making Taehyung drop the call as he informed Jimin that Yoongi was probably here.
He opened the door to see the pale Alpha who was, as usual, glaring at him.
"Where is Jungkook? What did you do to him?"
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Thoughts? 👀
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