updating cause @Demon_Lord_3755 is waiting for one

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

The next few days were quiet, but Beomgyu's mind was anything but. Yeonjun's words echoed in his head on a loop. It's you. And you're perfect.

He wasn't used to hearing things like that. His entire life had been defined by comparisons—to his brother Soobin, who was kinder, gentler, more fitting for the role of heir if not for his aversion to violence. Beomgyu had always told himself that he was chosen because he was better at it. He was sharp, efficient, and ruthless when needed.

But now, those words stuck to him like a burr he couldn't shake.

Why me?

That question nagged at him as he stood in the Choi estate's private library one afternoon. His hands absently traced the spines of old books, his mind spiraling into the what-ifs he usually buried beneath layers of duty.

What if Soobin had been the heir? What if he had been the one married off? What if Beomgyu wasn't the one who had to shoulder all of this?

"Gyu?" Yeonjun's voice startled him from his thoughts.

Beomgyu turned to see Yeonjun standing in the doorway, his head tilted slightly in concern. "What are you doing in here?"

"Thinking," Beomgyu admitted, his voice quieter than usual.

Yeonjun crossed the room, stopping a few feet away from him. "That's dangerous for someone like you," he teased lightly, but his tone quickly softened. "What's on your mind?"

Beomgyu hesitated, but something about the way Yeonjun looked at him—so patient, so nonjudgmental—made him speak. "Why do you think it was me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why was I chosen to be the heir?" Beomgyu asked, his voice trembling slightly. "Soobin would have been better. He's... he's everything I'm not. And yet, here I am. Why?"

Yeonjun frowned, stepping closer. "Because it's you."

"That's not an answer," Beomgyu muttered, frustration creeping into his voice.

"It is," Yeonjun insisted, his tone steady. "It's you because you're strong. Because you can handle it, even when it's unfair, even when it breaks you. And because no one else could do what you do—not Soobin, not anyone."

Beomgyu's chest tightened. He wanted to argue, to tell Yeonjun he was wrong, but something in the way he said it made the words catch in his throat.

"You're wrong," Beomgyu said finally, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

"I'm not," Yeonjun said softly. He reached out, his hand brushing against Beomgyu's arm. "And you don't have to believe me right now. But one day, you will."

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

That night, as Yeonjun slept beside him, Beomgyu lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't shake the weight of Yeonjun's words—or the memory of how he'd looked at him in that moment of vulnerability.

You're perfect.

Perfect. It wasn't a word he'd ever associated with himself. He was broken, scarred—inside and out—and he carried the weight of his family's legacy like a chain around his neck. How could someone like him be perfect?

But as he glanced at Yeonjun, his features soft and peaceful in sleep, a small part of him wondered if maybe, just maybe, Yeonjun saw something in him that he couldn't see himself.

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

The weight of Yeonjun's words and his own insecurities pressed down on Beomgyu like a suffocating fog. The quietness of the room only amplified the noise in his head—the doubts, the fears, the overwhelming question of why me?

Yeonjun had left earlier that day for a meeting, giving Beomgyu a rare stretch of time alone. But instead of finding solace, he found himself spiraling deeper into his thoughts. The mirrors in the bedroom reflected a version of himself he didn't recognize. The lace lingerie Yeonjun had bought sat folded neatly in a drawer, a painful reminder of the vulnerability he had shown.

Unable to drown out the storm in his mind, Beomgyu reached for the small blade he kept hidden in his bedside drawer. It was instinctive, a habit he thought he had left behind.

The sting of the blade against his skin was sharp and familiar. It was a way to feel something other than the pain inside, a way to regain control when everything else felt like chaos.

But this time, as the blood welled up, he felt no relief—only a deep, hollow ache.

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

Beomgyu stared at the crimson lines on his arm, panic setting in as the reality of what he'd done hit him. His hands shook as he reached for his phone. He couldn't call Yeonjun—he couldn't bear to see the look on his face if he found out.

Instead, he dialed the only person he could think of: Soobin.

"Beomgyu?" Soobin's voice was groggy but immediately laced with concern. "What's wrong?"

"I—" Beomgyu's voice broke. He couldn't bring himself to say it aloud.

"Gyu, where are you?" Soobin asked, his tone firm but gentle.

"At the estate," Beomgyu whispered.

"I'm on my way. Don't do anything else, okay? Just... stay where you are."

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

Soobin arrived within the hour, rushing into the bedroom where Beomgyu sat curled up on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees. His sleeve was pulled down, hiding the evidence, but Soobin knew.

"Oh, Gyu," Soobin said softly, kneeling beside him.

Beomgyu couldn't meet his brother's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Soobin said, his voice steady. "I just wish you'd called me sooner."

Beomgyu let out a shaky breath. "I didn't know who else to call. I couldn't—Yeonjun can't see me like this."

Soobin gently pulled Beomgyu's arm toward him, rolling up the sleeve to reveal the fresh cuts. His heart broke at the sight, but he didn't let it show. Instead, he reached for the first-aid kit on the bedside table and began cleaning the wounds with practiced care.

"I hate this," Beomgyu murmured, his voice barely audible.

"I know," Soobin said. "But you don't have to go through it alone."

Beomgyu's walls cracked further, tears spilling over as he finally looked up at Soobin. "Why wasn't it you?" he asked, his voice trembling. "You would've been better at all of this. You wouldn't be like me."

Soobin's eyes softened. "Gyu, I'm not you. And that's exactly why it was you. I couldn't do what you do. No one could."

Beomgyu shook his head, but Soobin placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're stronger than you think. And it's okay to let yourself be vulnerable, even with Yeonjun. Especially with Yeonjun."

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

Soobin stayed with Beomgyu for the rest of the night, sitting beside him in silence until his breathing evened out. Before he left, he placed a hand on Beomgyu's shoulder.

"If you ever feel like this again, call me. No matter what," Soobin said firmly.

Beomgyu nodded, a flicker of something like gratitude in his eyes.

After Soobin left, Beomgyu sat alone in the quiet room, his mind a little clearer. The thought of opening up to Yeonjun still terrified him, but maybe Soobin was right.

May be telling Yeonjun would be a good idea but i very risky one as well

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

so erm i decided to update yayaya btw i just found out i got the proud geogrpahy awards in school i feel really proud of myself