(Changes have been made to  this chapter

"The sign of the morning sun that shined before my eyes

This certain breath that repeats

See, I'm sure the reason for yesterday's tears

will bind the present to the future" – Shinkokyuu (Deep Breaths) by SUPER BEAVER, 2009

"We're taking you back to Busan."

Jimin was dreading this. Jimin knew his parents would want to see him after all the time they've spent separated, but Jimin didn't think he was ready to face his childhood home yet.

And he was already being separated from his brothers and they've barely had more than a few interactions.

"Once you're discharged, we will be taking you back to Busan where you will recuperate."

And there was another thing that was catching Jimin's worry, the court case that was bound to follow. They had already taken statements during his time of absence, but now he was fully capable of giving them a full recap of everything that had happened from the day he was kidnapped to the day he was saved.

"What about Bangtan?"

"We're working on it. We've been trying to sue the company, but nothing has come of it."

"Eomma... I love you, you know I love you. But... I think it'd be easier for me to stay in Seoul."

"What? Why?"

"Because... It'll be easier for the police to get to me when they need me," Jimin said softly, "And the trial will be here..."

"The police can just call in when they need you. You don't need to be here to get an interview for the case when you can do it easily at home," his mother argued.

There was a knock on the door, and almost as if they had been summoned, the same people that had interviewed him days before walked in.

"Good morning, Ji-woo-ssi and Jiyeon-ssi, Jimin."

Jimin waved, "Good morning."

"How are your stitches doing, kid?"

Jimin frowned a little bit, they're doing fine, I guess... I wish they could take them out, but I have to heal first."

The doctor who had done his rape kit had come back after his visitors had gone to do stitches. He had a case of anal tearing, which could be used as evidence for the case. It was uncomfortable, and he got anxiety at the thought of having to go through that again just to get the stitches out.

"Our Jimin is healing very nicely actually," his mom piped in, as defensive of her son as always.

"We would like to update you about the case. We have been using the past few days to interview and grab statements from your captors..."

Jimin made a face, automatically, not liking where this conversation was headed.

"They are all admitting a guilty verdict to the counts of murder, kidnapping, extortion, bribery, and physical, emotional and mental abuse, but every single last one of them have different stories for the amounts of sexual abuse and sexual trauma they put you through."

Jimin froze, "What?"

"They mean what they did to you. They admit they assaulted you in unwanted manners, but they gave a lot of different accounts of what they had done."

Jimin froze, feeling like gravity was crashing into him and holding him down to his hospital bed. He felt sick to his stomach with what they said to him. His skin felt dry and clammy the more the words rang again and again in his head.

Jimin stared at his parents but found himself most focused on his Appa's condescending face. He looked so disappointed and, dare he say, ashamed of him. He knew that look... That look he had given him so many times through his childhood. Such as when he was being bullied in school for being feminine...

"You-You don't believe I let this happen, do you?" Jimin asked in a small, vulnerable voice.

"You aren't fit to speak on the matter. Just stay quiet," he said with a venomous bite.

Jimin felt crushed, but he just kept talking, trying to save himself from disappointment

Disappointment, Park Jimin's greatest fear.

Jimin had tried so hard to please everyone in his family when he was little. From his grandparents to the dead ancestors that came before him, he never wanted to disappoint. He was the best in his class, always raising his hand to get in the teacher's good graces. He was class president in high school and was accepted into one of the best dance schools in Busan. He wanted to do his very best as to never disappoint, but for his Appa, it never seemed to be enough. In more ways than one, he always found himself being a disappointment to the one person he tried so hard to please.

'I don't need some sort of dancing fairy in my house. Get out!'

He never wanted to disappoint him, but him becoming an idol and singing and dancing in makeup just seemed to bring more and more shame to his name. His Appa never supported his dreams as a dancer, but his Eomma always had his back. He was allowed to dance to his heart's content when his Appa wasn't home. He was allowed to take dance classes under the agreement he was to keep his stellar grades.

"Ji-woo! Our son is going through a rough patch-."

"This happened because of him! This is his problem and he should deal with it appropriately!"

Jimin felt like the little bit of his heart he was just starting to build back up had been shattered once again. He was saying that being beaten again and again with anything those people could get their hands on because he was a toy was consensual. He was saying that being held down and raped against his will had been consensual, that the nights he spent crying and shaking out of fear for his life never happened, that all the times he was tossed around like a sports trophy and documented never happened and it was all just a figment of his imagination.

But it did happen

They' re guilty

Aren't they?

"Ji-woo-ssi I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from inflicting unnecessary stress and unwanted comments on the patient, victim and most importantly, your son," one of the female officers said with an unamused expression.

Jimin gaped at her, "You!"

He recognized her voice. That was the woman that had found him hiding under the bed that night...

"They asked me to come along since I was the one to find you," she said in a soft voice, "I'm glad to see you're doing ok, kid."

Jimin hesitated before letting out a small, unsure, "Me too..."

"Jimin-ssi, I think you should take into account the way the courts react to men and men together... Especially when it comes to relationships. Seeing as you are a public figure brought back into the spotlight after almost 3 years is bound to have some implications... Such as backlash from the close-minded people of the world."

"I-I didn't ask to be taken ag-against my will and get hurt more times than I can count! I didn't ask to be filmed and-."

"What a second, did you say filmed?"

"Yes! They-They fucking held me down and they-they-." Jimin felt sicker the more he thought about all the things they did, and the fact they had it all on mp4 files on their phones and cameras and computers...

"You get all the phones of our suspects and bring them to our technological probing team. Get a warrant to search the suspects home and seize all other technology you can find. You make sure there are no videos online of this incident. Search any key words you can, leave no stone unturned on social media. Those videos can be circulating the web and we don't even know it!"

It was silent.

"Don't just fucking stand there! This is a breach of privacy and safety!"

Two of the officers ran out, quickly making their way to the second squad car.

Jimin let out a lot of rough and heavy breaths, his videos could be online?

"Back to the conversation at hand, we are in no way blaming this on you. Assault and whatnot can be career-ending, especially with the male to male implications seeing that the majority of suspects and victims were male. Some of them were female, but when you look it, the amount of men that were murdered and assaulted by this-this cult is terrifying..."

Jimin stared down at his lap. He had only encountered the other victims a few times, but he didn't see them often. Hell, he didn't even know the names of the people that abducted, bought, and sold him.

"It'll take months to get through all of the rape kits and build our cases against all of them, especially because there are multiple victims involved and plenty of evidence. Like the victims that were killed and the victims that are missing..."

"Ok... Thank you for letting me know..."

Jimin wasn't willing to give any more statements to the police and they eventually took their leave.

"I can't believe it's going to take so long for it to go to trial..." Jiyeon said softly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well... What are we going to do?" Jimin said with a shrug.

"Are you going to drop the charges?"

Jimin put his head in his hands, shaking his head, "Please... Please stop talking about it..."

"You should just drop the charges instead of prolonging this matter much farther than you need to!"

"Appa, please..."

"I'm tired of this. Ever since you were born you just had to be different. I was coaxed into letting you become a feminine little fragile fairy when you should have been toughened up!"

"Jiwoo!"

"Next thing you know, you want to become an idol and whore yourself out to the masses! No wonder you got kidnapped, you're gay, feminine, and weak! I'm ashamed to call you my son! You might as well be my daughter!"

"Jiwoo you stop this right now! He is your son and he needs his parents!"

Jimin could only stare on as his parents fought and fought in front of him like he wasn't there.

'This is your fault'

'You see that? It's because you're weak!'

"It's your fault for getting captured! You were too weak to defend yourself and you let yourself become infatuated with other men! You're SICK."

"You-You think I-I wanted this?! I was captured for three years with less than suitable living conditions! I was barely surviving!"

Jimin was thin, and that was no surprise. Every single victim they brought in was frail and small. They didn't feed any of the victims on a regular basis and made it so they would grow weak and frail. If they did, they would bruise easier, bleed easier, then they would see the consequences to their actions...

He didn't do anything wrong, did he?

"If you were a woman maybe I'd have more sympathy towards you, but you aren't. You're a man and you need to start acting like one. Who cares if someone pawed you up? Get over it!"

Jimin was going to have a meltdown. His hands were shaky and there was sweat running down his forehead. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't bring any words to come out.

"A-A-."

'You're SICK'

"I've put up with you and your Eomma's shenanigans for far too long, and I can see you're damaged by your own issues. Come back to my house when you've manned up."

And he slammed the door behind him. Jimin could hear his footsteps from down the hall.

"Minnie... Min-Min..." Jiyeon said softly, "He didn't mean it, ok? I swear he didn't-."

'It's YOUR FAULT.'

"No... You don't have to defend him anymore... I understand."

Jimin couldn't look at his Eomma's face, terrified she looked just as disappointed as his father did.

She gave him a small hug, her arms shaking as he held him.

"E-Even if no one else will... Your Eomma... She'll always love you, ok darling?"

"I love you too, Eomma..."

She pressed a small kiss to his head, before leaving the room.

"I love you too..."

"There is always uncertainty and wandering mixed in
feelings that run far away into an uncertain future.
Whenever the things you want to protect increase
You leave your sadness behind and continue on" – Shinkokyuu (Deep Breaths) by SUPER BEAVER, 2009