Chapter 1: At Fault

LEVY

"Levy, patulong naman sa assignment ko sa Calculus oh."

Bumaling ako sa kaibigan kong si Ehra. Nasa malawak na field ng school kami at nakatambay. Although mas mababa siya ng isang taon sa akin, naging magkaibigan kami dahil magkasabayan lamang kaming nagtransfer dito sa Athena mula sa isang state college.

I'm an irregular third year, taking up Financial management. Dati akong accountancy student ngunit nang hindi ko maipasa ang Financial accounting ay natanggal ako sa programa kaya nagtransfer ako ng ibang school at kumuha ng ibang kurso.

Kinuha ko mula sa kanya ang kanyang notebook at ilang sandaling tiningnan ang kanyang assignment. "Do it like this..." I started explaining about the topic at panay naman ang kanyang tango. After few minutes of carefully explaining and answering one item as an example ay tuwang-tuwa na kinuha niya ang kanyang notebook.

"Got it!" bulalas niya at sinumulang sagutan ang pangalawa. "Ang talino mo talaga sa math, sayang hindi mo tinuloy ag accountancy."

I smiled, mentally saying accounting is far from mathematics, contrary to what most people think. Hindi Math ang Accounting; but then I'm tired of saying it to people.

"Madali na lang 'yan since tapos na ako sa Calculus ko last sem," sagot ko na lang sa kanya.

"Wow, ngayong ikaw ang nagturo sa akin , mas naintindihan ko na. Ewan ko bakit wala akong maintindihan kay Miss Cruz. Alam mo Levy, bagay ka magteacher," nakangiting sabi niya.

I smiled again, silently remembering the time when I aspire to be a teacher. I was so into it before ngunit ngayon ay wala sa hinagap ko na maging guro. Now I am not certain of what I want to become and that's something that made my nights sleepless. I was trying to figure out what I want to become, what I want to achieve ngunit wala akong makapang sagot sa kaloob-looban ko.

I sighed, rememebring such lonely thought just made me lonelier. Napansin kong tila may tumatawag sa pangalan ko ngunit hindi ako nag-abalang makinig. I was still trying to figure out what I really wanted to be nang bigla na lamang may bagay na papalapit sa mukha ko.

One blink and I'm sure such thing would hit my face.

"Levvvvy!"

It was Ehra who's shouting.

And that flying thing towards my face is a frisbee.

Before I can blink or move a little, a hand caught the thing just a millimeter from my face.

Saka lamang ako tila nakahinga nang magsalita ang taong sumalo sa frisbee.

"Are you okay?"

I blinked, suddenly feeling the turmoil more than I felt a moment ago when I was about to get hit with the disc. That voice... that voice is enough to leave me breathless...

Mabilis akong tumayo at humarap sa kanya. "I-I'm okay! Thank y-you!"

He nodded without a smile before throwing the disc to the other players to resume their game. Saka pa lamang ako nakahinga nang maluwag nang pinanuod ko siyang tumatakbo sa katirikan ng araw. His hair was bouncing, showing some of his forehead to which I never ever thought I would find so beautiful.

Kailan pa naging turn on ang noo ng isang tao para sa akin?

Ah, I know.

That's when I got to see Zywon Rocco Deltran's forehead. His hair is always down on his forehead so when it's out such as moments like this when he run around freely, that's enough for me to consider it as a good day indeed.

"Levy?" Ehra waved her hand in front of me. "Ayos ka lang? Sabi ko naman sa'yo huwag tayo rito eh. Kung hindi frisbee o bola ng sepak takraw ang tatama sa atin, baka matapunan tayo ng baseball bat."

Napangiti ako. "Ayos lang."

Right, Ehra doesn't know I deliberately stayed right in this spot so I can have a better view of Zywon. The first time I saw him was a year ago, nang magtransfer ako rito. Kaklase ko siya sa isa minor subject and it was attraction at first sight.

He was indeed attractive; lazy yet soulful eyes, manly physique, tall and with striking facial features. Isa rin sa dahilan kung bakit mo siya mapapansin ay dahil sa kanyang "introvert" nature, to which sooner I realized that he isn't really introvert. He loves to sleep on his chair, or munch some chocolate like a kid and proceeds slouching back on his chair. If you don't find him slouching, he's probably on his phone or iPad or whatever device he had.

I was attracted to him, and I, Letticia Vyronica Velez is always vocal but I never had the courage to say I was attracted to him. One semester as his classmate, that attraction escalated to a deeper emotion, to which I labeled as "crush" like how I felt towards actors or succesful men. One more semester and I found myself wanting nothing but his attention and everything, ngunit hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin nagawang makipag-usap sa kanya. I never even have the courage to look at him in the eyes.

Ngayong semester my kaklase ko siya sa dalawang subject but until now I didn't even have the courage to utter a word.

And now he spoke to me.

He asked me if I'm okay.

Malamang normal lamang iyon lalo na't muntikan na akong tamaan ng disc sa mukha but I've never been so happy like this.

"Levy?"

Saka ko lamang naalala na kasama ko pala si Ehra. Huminga ako nang malalim at bumaling sa kanya. Puno ng pag-aalala ang kanyang mukha. "You're still in shock, kahit ako ba naman muntikan nang tamaan ng frisbee."

No it's because of Zywon...

"Ayos lang ako," I assured her.

"Sigurado ka ha?"

Ngumiti ako at tumango, bago pasimpleng hinanap sa field si Zywon but he was nowhere to be found. Naramdaman ko ang kaunting disappointment but I shake it off.

Napatingin si Ehra sa suot na relo. "Oh siya, may klase pa ako. Una na ako sa'yo Levy ha? Thank you!"

She grabbed her bag before running towards the pavement. Tinanaw ko siya habang papalayo at mayamaya lamang ay umalis na rin ako roon sa takot na baka kung ano na namang bagay ang tumama sa akin.

***

The day ended abruptly at halos hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang nakausap ko si Zywon. Our conversation maybe one liner and all pero alam kong simula na iyon ng pagkakaroon ko ng lakas ng loob na kausapin siya. I need to look fresh for tomorrow morning's class. It's a subject that I hate but it's also one that I always wanted to attend dahil kaklase ko roon si Zywon.

I stretched my arms and yawned. Katatapos ko lamang sa isang assignment. Papatayin ko na sana ang computer nang may mapansin ako sa messenger.

ONE MESSAGE REQUEST

SOREH TEH

PLEASE READ...

Soreh Teh? As far as I remember, wala akong kakilalang Soreh Teh. I clicked the message on to regret doing so. Nanlamig ang mga kamay ko nang tuluyan kong mabasa ang lecheng message na pinadala ni Soreh Teh.

SOREH TEH

PLEASE READ...

Ako si Juana Dela Cruz. Pinatay ako ng isang lalaki. Inilulan niya ako sa sako at tinapon sa ilog. Kung binasa mo to, magpapakita ako sayo mamayang 12 AM habang umiiyak at sumusuka ng dugo. Lalapit ako sayo habang dala ko ang ulo ko.
Waring:
Totoong nangyari to! May namatay na dahil binalewala ang message na to! Kung ayaw mong mangyari sayo yan, please pass to 20 people!

Sorry forwarded lang to, bawal na ipasa ulit sa akin.

Ilang beses akong napamura at tiningnan ang time display sa PC ko. 10:45 PM. I still have time to pass this message before 12! Bago magpakita sa akin si Juana!

And yup, naniniwala ako sa chain messages!

Ano naman ang masama sa paniniwala roon? Isa pa, napatunayan kong totoo ang mga chain message nang may natanggap akong sulat noong high school ako. Ayon sa sulat, may ligaw na kaluluwa raw na pagala-gala lamang sa paligid at naghahanap ng hustisya sa kanyang pagkamatay. Ang tanging paraan para matahimik ito ay sa pamamagitan ng pagpasa ng chain message tungkol sa kamatayan niya. Ayon pa sa natanggap kong chain message, kailangan kong ipasa iyon sa 15 ka tao upang hindi ako malasin.

I ignored the chain message and ended up sick for a week. Mabigat ang buong katawan ko noon at ilang araw akong hindi nakapasok sa skwela. I also got a wad of gum stuck on my hair so I had to cut it so short like a boy's haircut days before my graduation. I also fell on the swing and hurt my back. Naligaw ako kaya hindi ako nakaabot sa year-end gathering ng batch namin. I also didn't make it to my preferred university dahil wala ng slot sa kursong gusto ko! Halos isang taon rin akong minalas dahil sa lecheng chain message na hindi ko pinasa dalawang taon na ang nakalilipas!

And now I am not ignoring this new chain message I received in messenger!

Bakit kasi may sinabi pang mangyayari pa rin kahit basahin man o hindi! Now I have to send this to 20 people!

Juana Dela Cruz naman eh! Hindi ba pwedeng manahimik na lang ang kaluluwa mo?!

Ilang beses kong hinampas ang ulo sa mesa. Bakit ba may nagpapasa pa rin ng mga ganito!? I cannot just ignore this! In my almost 22 years of existence, naniniwala pa rin ako sa mga ligaw na kaluluwa, kamalasan at kung anu-ano pang mga sumpa!

Damn this Soreh Teh!

Kung sino man ang kumag na 'to na nagtatago sa dummy account, I'll make sure to find this person!

Tumunog ang notification ng messenger ko at napansing maraming message ang dumating at nabasa ang unang mga salita.

PLEASE READ...

Tatlong kaibigan ko yata ang nagsend sa akin ng ganoon kaya hindi na ako nag-abalang buksan pa iyon! See?! Kahit mga kaibigan ko ay naniniwala pa rin doon! Now I've got three less people to send this chain message dahil naunahan na nila ako! Those three were my classmates in high school kaya marahil alam nilang pumapatol ako sa chain messages kaya nila iyon pinasa sa akin.

Should I send it to my block mates?

Or maybe not.

What if they find me a creep for believing such!? Plus some of them are mean and foul mouthed so no, I'm not sending it to them. Aha, pipili lamang ako ng mga taong papadalhan niyon. Those people who would just ignore it and wouldn't make it a big deal.

Like Minerva, block mate kong awkward. Kahit may nag-aaway na ay wala itong pakialam at mananatili lamang an tahimik. Right, I'll forward this to Minerva. Who else? Hmm, Joseph, maybe. I'm sure gaya ni Minerva ay hindi iyon magiging big deal sa kanya. Tapos kay Tessa, kay Colyn at kung sinu-sino pang mga kakilala ko na nakita ko sa friendlist ko. With a grin, I chose people carefully.

Finally, I won't face misfortune for ignoring something like this! Binilang ko kung ilang tao na ang napasahan ko--- 19! Now only one person left.

Napatingin ako sa relo, past 11 at kinse minutos na lamang ay alas dose na. i need to finish this at nang hindi magawi rito si Juana!

I spent quite some minutes forwarding the chain message but now I'm left with only one person.

I scroll on my online friendlist nang biglang may pangalan na nagpop-up.

Zywon Rocco Deltran
Active Now

I felt my heart race literally.

Yup, we're friends in facebook dahil nagkaroon ako ng rason na i-add siya nang maging magkagrupo kami sa isang subject. I know it's a bold move but I was thankful when he accepted my firend request ngunit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa ako nagkakaroon ng kapal ng mukha at lakas ng loob na mag direct message sa kanya.

Zywon is an enigma and he's definitely out of my league, lalo na nang malaman kong mula siya sa maimpluwensiyang pamilya.

He's an impossible dream and I just cherish him from a distance. That's I know for sure.

Paano kaya kung ipasa ko sa kanya ang chain message? He will definitely pass it to 20 others while I free myself from the chain message's curse!

Then great! It means I can successfully spread the message to 20 people and hence, no misfortune will befall me!

I immediately forwarded the message at kalmadong napasandal.

Mission successful!

I feel bad for sending it to him but who knows, baka online siya dahil nakatanggap rin siya ng ganoong messages kaya pinasa na rin niya iyon sa iba. I don't think Zywon is the kind who let things go against his way. I won't feel guity sending this to him dahil tiyak kong gagawa siya ng paraan para hindi malasin at hindi maapektuhan sa sumpa ni Juana Dela Cruz na pugot ang ulo!

I suddenly panic nang makita sa chat box na Zywon Rocco is typing...

Zywon Rocco:
Did you really forward this to 20 people?

My... my heart!

He replied!

And it wasn't related to school work! It's our private chatbox! This is our first conversation na hindi sa group chats naming magkaka-klase sa ilang subjects! Gusto kong tumakbo, tumalon at sumigaw ngunit naalala kong tulog na ang mga tao sa bahay.

I have to calm down!

Kinuha ko ang unan at tinakpan ang mukha bago nagsusumigaw! I cannot believe he actually replied to that chain message! We actually had an exchange of chats!

Teka, I have to reply first! Kinalma ko ang sarili. I even cracked my fingers before typing to reply.

Me:
Yes :) ugh sorry I had to. Chain messages are real TT

Zywon:
Seen 12:15 AM

Naghintay ako hanggang 12:30 ngunit hindi na nagreply si Zywon. Hindi ko maiwasang mapasimangot. Of course, he wouldn't engage in some silly conversation with me.

I waited few more minutes before turning off my computer. Gaya ng sinabi ko kanina, I have to look fresh tomorrow lalo na't kaklase ko sa isang subject si Zywon bukas.

***

The prof was already ten minutes late and so as Zywon. Maaga pa naman akong pumasok ngayon just to secure a spot near where Zywon used to sit. I knew he loves to sit beside a window. Bago mag-15 minutes ay dumating na ang prof but still no Zywon around.

I know he's not the type who ditch class or be late ngunit ngayong wala pa siya, it somewhat alarmed me. Ilang sandali lamang ay bumukas ang glass door at halos lahat kami ay napatingin doon.

Zywon stood there with a bandage on his head!

Bahagya siyang tumango sa professor at paika-ikang pumasok. He scanned the place and my I felt my heartbeat almost stopped when our eyes met. Saglit lamang iyon dahil napatingin siya sa bakanteng upuan sa tabi ko. He moved slowly at habang papalapit siya ay parang sasabog ang dibdib ko.

He pulled the chair and sat beside me.

"You can breathe," I heard him say.

Unti-unti akong napalingon sa kanya, making sure he was talking to me.

"A-ako?"

At bakit ako nauutal?!

He sighed. "Unless the window pane can talk."

He. Was. Talking. To. Me.?!

"A-ayos ka l-lang ba-" Suddenly, I remembered something.

Shit!

Napatakip ako sa bibig at nanlaki ang mga matang napatingin sa kanya. "Shit!" I made sure to make my voice low, trying to hide the panic in my voice.

"What?" he asked.

"Y-you did not pass the message to 20 people, did you?!" I asked in surprise.

His jaw literally dropped. "What?!"

Damn it, I think I'm at fault.

#

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