I swear after this I'll do a oneshot I promise...

So uh.... How do I start... I'm not feeling well no I am not sick I'm not feeling happy especially with myself. Recently I've been having the feeling of loneliness. Not with just my friends also with everyone else. I feel like I'm not interesting when I talk. I've also been doing trash in the classes I do.

I feel like I'm a burden to everyone. I feel like they don't want me but I don't know that. I have been struggling to keep myself calm in class but most of the time it ends up with me crying. I know I know I'm a crybaby but I try not to heh.

If you wanna know what words I think of myself (I don't know why you would because probably most of you would forget it) here they are:
Worthless
A burden
Annoying
Ugly
Bitch
Asshole
Crybaby
Idiot/Dumbass/Stupid/Retarted
Useless
Edgy
Faker
Awkward

I also hate the fact that I can't show how I feel. It'll make my friends worry and I hate it. I wear a fake mask a lot. My mom told me that I can hide how I feel very well and I guess that's my advantage.

My life has been getting worse and worse. I have a crush but my school friends who maybe are reading this please don't ask. I'm not gonna answer. But the crush I had before tore me. She's my friend sure but she broke me. Now my school friends might think of her but it's not her it's... Someone else. Wow I'm repeating myself.

But anyways. She hurt me but I'm fine. I'm fine. I'd it sad that I'm crying. Hahaha. I wish I didn't tell her. I wish. But stupid me slipped it out. She told me she liked me but ended up not liking me. Don't call her an asshole cuz she's my friend.

I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm not trying to get attention I just.... Feel like shit.

:)