Months pass by and I have finally gained the muscle I had lost on my arm. Summer is here, giving me the time to train and be ready to bull-ride again. After a morning of training, I take the time to take a breath. I take off my flannel shirt, revealing the muscle shirt I have underneath. Being able to work again, makes me feel good. 

The bell rings, notifying me it is time for dinner. 

Once I am in the house, like every mother, my own mother tells me to wash up before sitting down to eat. Dinners lately have been quiet. Ever since I got injured, I feel my parents know or have deduced that something happened with Clover. They haven't asked me about it, but it doesn't take a genius to notice she is not around the house anymore. 

My father breaks the silence but striking small talk with my mom, "How's your work going?" 

She stops eating to think about what to say, "It's progressing but I think I will be needing outside help from an experienced photographer."

I don't look up from the plate because I know where this conversation is going. Trying to make it seem that the conversation doesn't bother me, I continue to eat. 

"I am thinking of documenting the progress and work that we are putting into our farm. But I was thinking of getting someone that is familiar with the rural work and can photograph what we want."

My father agrees with her idea. We all resume eating then my mom continues. "Clover will be staying over this summer. I am thinking she can use your room Austin or she can use the den.  I just haven't had the time to get that cleaned."

"No, it's fine. She can stay in my room. I'll take the den." I try to sound unbothered by the news. Because in reality, I am a bit too delighted about her staying with us this summer. 

***

According to my mother, Clover arrived a few hours ago. Cowardly, I didn't want to be there when she arrived. I am not really sure if she would be happy to see me as we didn't necessarily have a very pleasant last conversation. But I know I need to greet her for old times' sake. I wonder what would have happened if she would have stayed here instead of moving to the city. 

I enter the house to find Clover and Arizona, in the kitchen having some sugar cookies my mother baked this morning. I enter the room and Clover turns around to see why Arizona turned quiet. Arizona looks at me then Clover. 

"I think you guys should talk," She gives me a slight smile and then squeezes Clovers before she leaves the room. 

Clover sits down and I do the same. Surprisingly, she talks first. "How's your arm?"

"It pretty much healed. The doctor said I can start riding again soon."

"How have you been doing?" I try to pitch in. 

"Good. Your mom offered me a job here for the summer."

"I've heard. I think this job is perfect for you. If I make you uncomfortable, I can stay out of your way. I don't think I have been very supportive lately."

"You know at the very end of all this. We are still friends. I don't want that to change."

"Thank you. I know I don't deserve that." I really don't. I went out of my way and lied to her. 

"Cowboy, what am I going to do? Kick you out of your own home?" She shoves me playfully. "I'll keep being myself and you keep being who you are." 

Wrapping up our conversation, my mother comes into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Clover gets up to help her and I decide to get some fresh air before having dinner. I sit down on the porch swing and meditate while watching the sunset. Maybe everyone has questioned 'what if'. 

From a distance, I see a familiar car driving up the house. Bonnie steps out and walks to the door not noticing that I am sitting on the porch swing. Before she can knock, I get up. "Bonnie, what are you doing here?"

"Hey, babe. I wanted to have dinner with you. It's been a long time since we've eaten out."

I scratch the back of my head. I hadn't seen Bonnie for a few weeks, so I wasn't able to mention that Clover is staying over for the summer. My mom is in the kitchen with Clover making dinner. I don't think I want to eat out today. They are making dinner, especially my mom likes it when we eat dinner. 

"Bonnie, what if you stay and eat dinner with my family?" I take her hand. 

"Oh, come on. There is this new restaurant. I want to try it out." 

"My mom is making dinner. I don't think we can go out today. Let's just have dinner here today and then we can make plans to go out later." She hesitates so I pull her into the house. Making our way to the kitchen mostly everyone has taken a seat, except Clover doesn't seem to be around. My parents see Bonnie with me and welcome her to sit down with us. Before taking a seat, my mom goes into the kitchen and comes back with Clover. They take a seat and I can see Bonnie surprised to see Clover here. 

We say grace and start to eat. Clover is sitting next to my mom and Bonnie is right in front of her who is sitting next to me. Arizona seems to sense the tension when she raises an eyebrow. 

"How are you, Bonnie? We haven't seen you for a while." My mom tries to make small talk with Bonnie, making her direct her attention elsewhere. 

"It seems so." She looks at Clover, who seems to be trying not to look at Bonnie. "Why is she here?" She bluntly says out loud. 

"She a family friend." My mother pitches in as she squeezes Clover's hand, and she returns her gesture with a slight smile. 

"A family friend?" Bonnie looks at me as if I should say something. "She knows we're dating, right?"

"Excuse us for a second." I lead Bonnie out of the house and into the porch. "Bonnie, What is wrong with you?" I have never seen Bonnie act like this before. Sure, she can be immature but in front of my parents, I would have thought she would hold back. 

"What or are you having second thoughts? This is because of her, right? I knew it. I just leave and now you want to dump me and be with her."

"What? No, no, I am not breaking up with you. Why would you think that? I haven't even seen you for the past few weeks."

"Then why haven't you proposed? We've been dating for four years."

I know every girl wants a proposal, but I was hoping to hold off a bit long before having to actually think about it. How can I tell her, that I really don't see her as my forever?