BORN TO DIE    ╱    DRACO MALFOY
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
105 ━━━━━━━━ ❛ an offered kiss ❜

It was Saturday night, meaning it was the night of the beginning of the year party that Slytherin had the pleasure of hosting. Blaise and Theodore, to be exact. Like she told Train Boy, they'd probably have Pansy's help as well. Olivia knew the boys had been looking forward to this since the day they'd first come to Hogwarts and heard the loud noises of the sixth and seventh years having fun in the common room late one night. Parties were like a national treasure around Hogwarts—they were truly loved and kept secret from the professors, though they probably suspected they were happening, having a bunch of teenagers in one school, after all.

Olivia had never really been interested in going to the parties, but she decided to go to this one since it'd be her first. She'd also made sure that the Golden Trio would be there so she'd have at least one friendly face to hide away with. She was also quite excited to see how the three of them would react at a party. They didn't seem the type to enjoy it, but she also knew that looks could be deceiving. Train Boy was also set to attend, though he and Olivia hadn't talked about it much since the night in the Great Hall. She still wasn't certain how she felt about that boy. There was something about him that rubbed her the wrong way, but she couldn't place it.

Currently, she was getting ready in her room alone since Pansy had gotten ready earlier and left without so much as a glance in Olivia's direction. (That wasn't true; Pansy had glanced over at every ten seconds, though Olivia pretended not to notice.) She didn't blame the girl for not speaking to her. In fact, she was glad for it. It made keeping her distance all the easier, and after what she heard, she wanted distance from her.

She was a bit nervous about what the night would entail. All of the sixth- and seventh-year students from all of the houses (if they wanted to attend) crowded the Slytherin common room, getting pissed off their arses. A part of her didn't think it was a good idea, but who was she to stop it? She tried her best to be positive, but she also knew that she was going to see Draco, which was something she wasn't looking forward to in the slightest.

He wasn't going to give up on her. She was fully aware of that. Especially if what happened between them that night in her room at Mallard Manor meant nearly as much to him as it did to her. She hoped it did, even if they weren't going to continue on. She didn't want to just be the girl he lost his virginity to—a one and done.

She meant more to him than that, didn't she? So why had he left without a word? Why hadn't he acknowledged it once since returning to Hogwarts?

Fighting back her emotions, Olivia slipped on her sheer black tights, having missed them dearly after nearly a week of not wearing them. She was choosing a typical Olivia outfit to wear. She had picked out a loose black jumper, a black skirt, and her boots. The Mary Janes and knee-highs were driving her mad, though she wasn't going to give them up completely so soon. Her makeup was simple, per usual, and her hair was down and brushed through.

She had thought about going all out for the party but decided against it. She wouldn't feel like herself if she did. She missed feeling normal—as normal as she could get, at least, being who she was.

Once she felt ready, she let out a sigh, staring in the mirror. It was quite odd getting ready for something without Pansy either sleeping or in the room with her. She felt alone. It was her own doing, but that didn't make it any less difficult. It was only another second before she was walking out of the bathroom, waving her wand so that the candles blew out, and going over to the door of her room. As she reached the door, she could already hear the music and chatter coming from the common room. They surely put a silencing charm on the common room so that no one could hear the noise from outside of it unless they were in the dorms. She wondered how the rest of Slytherin was handling it.

She opened her door and exited into the corridor, closing the door behind her before heading downstairs. The music got louder as she got closer, and when she stepped off the last step, the green glow from the lights was flowing all around the room. It was already crowded as she stepped inside—people with drinks in their hands and in their groups as they danced, chatted, and had fun. Olivia felt slightly claustrophobic with all of the people around her, but she held her chin high, walking over to the door. She knew that Crabbe and Goyle were probably standing guard so that they could let in any non-Slytherins, wanting to keep the stone wall blank so no one would suspect anything if walking by. She decided to stick there and wait for the trio.

As she waited, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, already feeling bored, more people came in and joined the fun, not even sparing her a glance. She didn't mind. The door opened again beside her, and the three familiar Gryffindors walked in. She smiled at them immediately when they noticed her.

"Hi," she said, speaking loud enough for them to hear her over the music. "Welcome to the Slytherin commons, though I suppose two of you have already been here." She gave Harry and Weasley a knowing look, thinking back to the time when they'd used Polyjuice to pose as Crabbe and Goyle.

"Right, yeah," Harry muttered awkwardly.

Weasley looked around before focusing on her again. "Hasn't changed much, has it?"

"Nope," Olivia replied. "Is it just you three?"

"I think Neville is going to be here soon," Hermione told her.

"All right then." Olivia nodded, raising her hand and gesturing towards the couches, which were surprisingly empty. She would've thought everyone would want to lounge on them, that being the most comfortable spot in the room. "Shall we?"

They hummed in response, watching as she dropped her hand to her side and moved past them, going over to the couches. They sat down, and Olivia could tell the trio was uncomfortable based on how tense they were, looking around like someone was going to pop out and curse them at any second. She didn't completely fault them for it, seeing the state of their world and the beliefs that the majority of the Slytherins had. Besides, most Slytherins hated them for being so favored by Dumbledore.

Olivia sat up a little straighter in her seat, clearing her throat.

The three of them focused on her quickly.

"You know," she began, moving so that she sat facing them more, "you could've brought Ginny if you wanted. I'm sure Crabbe and Goyle would've let her in if I told them to, even though she's a fifth year." Her eyes fell over them, and she smiled kindly. "Lucas is probably roaming around here with his Ravenclaw friends. They're all fifth years too."

"Not sure Ginny would be up for a party," Weasley confessed, getting a confused look from Hermione.

"This is exactly where Ginny would want to be, Ronald," she told him pointedly, speaking to him as if he were daft. "Who knows, she might come here with Dean. They seem to be getting quite cozy."

"Bloody hell, Hermione," he cursed, seeming disgusted. "That's my sister."

"What?" Hermione gave him a confused look, seeming as if she was wondering why he assumed she meant what he had assumed. "I just meant that they seem to fancy each other. I didn't mean anything inappropriate by it."

"Still, I don't wanna think about her dating," he replied. "She's too young."

Hermione raised her brows as Harry and Olivia watched in amusement, though there was something on his face that Olivia couldn't quite place. "She's not that much younger than you, remember?"

Weasley opened his mouth to retort, but before he could, someone was clearing their throat, and the four of them looked up, only for their eyes to land on Pansy, Blaise, Theodore, and Draco.

Olivia shifted in her seat, mentally cursing.

"Mind if we join?" Pansy asked, quirking a brow. "No? Perfect." She sent them a tight smile before plopping down on the couch across from them, while Blaise and Draco sat next to her and Theodore sat in one of the side chairs. "So," she drawled out, her smile turning into a smirk as she threw her arm over Blaise's shoulder and her legs over his knee, leaning into his side. "What're we discussing?"

They went quiet for a moment before Olivia rolled her eyes and said, "Weasley, here, doesn't want to see his sister dating anyone."

Pansy nodded, a smirk still on her face. "How... fascinating."

"Don't act as if you lot don't have pointless conversations all the time," Olivia countered, already knowing where Pansy's attitude was going. "At least we're talking about something other than who's shagging who and the latest fashion trends."

Pansy's smirk slightly faltered, and Olivia knew she was being a bit harsh, though what she'd said wasn't that bad. The girl quickly recovered, sitting up a little straight as she removed her arm from around Blaise's shoulder. She clapped her hands together, the cunning look on her face all too apparent.

"Speaking of who's shagging who, we should play a game," she told them, looking around the group and seeing Olivia roll her eyes.

"What kind of game?" asked Theodore, glancing up from his hands at her, boredly slumped in his seat, looking much like Draco was at the moment.

"Truth or dare," she replied swiftly, and Olivia already felt it was a bad idea.

"What does who's shagging who have to do with truth or dare?" Theodore inquired in confusion, furrowing his brows.

Pansy just remained focused on Olivia, still smirking. Olivia knew exactly what it had to do with it, and she was praying to Merlin that Pansy would just leave that alone. It wasn't anyone's business—and their friendship had meant anything to the girl; she wouldn't dare do it, especially not in front of the Golden Trio.

"Oh, just a little something I know," she said lightly, keeping her attention on Olivia.

Olivia could feel Draco's eyes on her, no doubt having guessed what it was that Pansy. She just rolled her eyes, looking away. She had explained what happened to Pansy in confidence, and she'd been told that she could always talk to her without having to worry about her words being spread. Yet, here Pansy was, nonverbally threatening to do just that.

"Shall we begin?" the girl asked brightly, looking over the others as the Golden Trio shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

"Begin what?" A familiarly irritating voice rang in their ears.

Everyone looked over to see Daphne joining them, walking over with a drink in her hand and brushing past Pansy's legs. Pansy gave her a look of disgust in the process, but Daphne seemed to ignore it and eased her way in front of Draco. He didn't even look up at her as she asked, "Mind if I sit here?" And she didn't even wait for him to answer before she was squeezing her way between him and Blaise, crowding them on the couch.

Draco side-glanced her before he stood up and moved over to one of the side chairs, which made Olivia have to stifle her amusement. Her eyes caught onto Daphne's not a second later, and she offered an innocent smile, noting that Daphne didn't seem too pleased. Then she watched as the girl shifted over on the couch so that she was no longer right beside Blaise now that she had more room.

"What is it that we're doing?" Daphne asked, focusing on Pansy again.

Her former roommate gave her a look that asked why she was talking to her, then rolled her eyes as she let out a breath. "We"—Pansy gestured towards everyone except Daphne—"were going to play truth or dare, and I don't remember you being invited."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm here now." Daphne smiled tightly, though there was a hint of something in it, almost like she thought she knew something they didn't. "I have some questions I'd like to get truthful answers to."

"Of course you do," Olivia clipped.

Before anything else could be said, Lucas walked over, his Ravenclaw friends trailing behind him but also joined by Astoria, Ginny, and Finley, all of whom Olivia assumed her brother snuck in. "Hey," he greeted them, looking around at everyone. His focus fell on his sister a moment longer. "Mind if we join?"

"Not at all," Pansy smiled. "The more, the merrier."

"All right," Lucas muttered, eyeing her with knitted brows, confused by her tone. Then he and his group moved to find spots to sit. Lucas sat on the floor next to Olivia's legs, while Ginny sat on the couch next to Blaise and Pansy, glancing over at them with uncertainty, and the rest of them also sat on the floor, not having any other choice.

"We were just about to play truth or dare," Pansy confessed to the newcomers. "I'll go first," she beamed, seeming almost too excited as a smirk turned up the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were on Olivia, and the girl sighed, thinking that Pansy's question was going to be directed towards her, but instead, she turned to Draco, who was still fiddling with his hands, not looking at any of them. "Draco, truth or dare?"

He looked up quickly, focusing on her with raised brows. "Truth."

"Yawn, boring," Blaise muttered, causing Theodore and Lucas to snicker.

Draco rolled his eyes, ignoring him.

Pansy sat up a little straighter, a cunning smirk still ever so bright on her face. "Have you ever thought about shagging anyone in this group?"

The shock of some of the others was quite apparent, not expecting such an upfront question during the first round or even at all. Draco's brows also raised a little higher in surprise, then his expression turned knowing. "Why think about it when you already have?"

Pansy's jaw dropped a little bit as she chuckled in a breath, and Olivia felt her face heat as some of the group's eyes fell on her. She just focused on her hands, not daring to meet the gazes of the ones around her, especially not Draco or the trio. The girl's roommate tipped her head. "Right you are."

"Ew." Lucas's face twisted in disgust, looking up at Olivia, who caught his eye because she was already looking down.

She gave him a bored look. "Make it a little more obvious that you think he's speaking of me, Lucas."

"Of bloody course he's speaking of you, Olivia," her brother countered. "Pansy's with Blaise; Daphne has no chance; he barely knows Astoria; he doesn't even like Ginny because she's a Gryffindor and a Weasley; he hates Hermione—that much is clear; and I'm certain he doesn't even know Luna or Evelyn's names." He went through the list of people, lifting his hand to each one he spoke of. "You're the only other option."

"You assume he meant a girl," Olivia argued, raising her chin.

"All right then." Lucas laughed. "Blaise is with Pansy; he despises Ron and Harry; he doesn't know Akeno or Finley; he would never go after Theodore—neither one of them would go after each other because they're both in lo—" He paused, seeming to have made a mistake, and realized it. Olivia furrowed her brows at this, confused on what he was going to say. He simply cleared his throat and carried on. "And I know for a fact that he's not speaking about me. You're all that's left."

Olivia sighed. "Would you believe me if I denied it?"

"No."

She didn't think he would.

Harry focused on her, his face twisted in confusion, seeming as if he were about to question her on many things.

Luckily, Pansy interjected before there was even anything to interject. "All right, your turn to ask someone, Draco."

Draco cleared his throat, sitting up straighter in his seat as he looked around, his eyes remaining on Olivia for a moment longer than the others. His focus settled on Blaise right after. "Blaise. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," the boy replied, smirking just like his girlfriend.

Draco thought of a task to give to Blaise for a long moment. "I dare you to chug as much of a bottle of Firewhisky as you can."

"Again, boring, but easy enough," Blaise retorted, leaning forward to grab a bottle off of the table in front of him. He opened it, and then they all watched as he chugged almost all of the bottle in one go. Olivia could only imagine the burning in his throat. Once he was done, he recapped the bottle and set it back on the table.

"Good thing it wasn't Olivia who got that dare," Lucas mumbled, causing his sister to smack him on the back of the head. He tensed up, his shoulders racking higher as his hand rubbed the back of his head. "Ow."

It was now Blaise's turn, and his eyes scanned over them all. "Potter," he said, his tone not giving anything away, nor his blank expression. Blaise was definitely hard to read whenever he wanted to be.

Harry focused on him quickly, raising his brows.

"Is it true you want to shag Weasel's sister?"

Harry's mouth fell open as his eyes went wide.

"It's Weasley," Ginny corrected sharply, though there was a tint of pink to her cheeks.

Blaise ignored her words, a small smirk on his face as he watched Harry stammer.

"I- No." Harry shook his head quickly, with Weasley looking over at him with furrowed brows. He seemed panicked under his best friend's gaze, and Olivia felt slightly bad, but she knew he was lying through his teeth. "No, Ron. I swear I don't."

"Come on, mate," Blaise continued, despite Harry being nowhere close to his mate. "Everyone sees how you look at her."

"What's with you two and the shagging questions?" asked Olivia, cutting in before it could go any further and focusing on Pansy and Blaise.

Pansy just shrugged, her amusement growing; same with Blaise.

"I don't, Ron," Harry repeated reassuringly, staring at his best friend with wide eyes.

Weasley nodded, breathing out an awkward laugh as he smiled. "Good. Because that's my sister."

"I know." Harry nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He pushed up his glasses on the bridge of his nose, focusing forward for a moment of tense silence. Then he seemed to remember that it was his turn to ask someone something, so he went with the safe bet and focused on Hermione. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," she answered quickly.

The choice was to be expected of her. Hermione was one for facts.

"Who did you smell in the Amortentia?" he asked.

Hermione's eyes went a bit wide. "Harry," she whispered warningly, giving him a pointed look.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Oh, that's a good one," Pansy praised, surprising Olivia a bit since it'd been Harry who'd asked the question. Then she faced the girl, feeling her eyes on her, and smirked. "We all know who Olivia smelled."

"Pansy, shut up," Olivia retorted harshly, narrowing her eyes. It was bad enough that the girl exposed the fact that she slept with Draco. "I told you something in confidence, and you're using this whole thing to throw it back in my face, and yet you wonder why I never came to you before with my thoughts."

Pansy's face dropped, but she didn't say anything more.

"I don't know who I smelled," Hermione answered.

"Right, like we're supposed to believe that," Theodore mumbled, but continued to mess with his hands without looking up.

He was ignored, and Hermione sat up a little taller in her seat, raising her chin proudly. "Pansy," she began, catching the girl's attention, noting that she seemed a little less enthusiastic than she was before, no doubt because of how Olivia had spoken to her. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Pansy shrugged.

Hermione took a second to think. "Of all of the professors, current or former, which one would you most like to get with?" Her question was shocking, to say the least. Not because of what she had asked, but because she had asked it.

Olivia was confused as to why all of the questions had been about shagging or liking.

Pansy seemed to respect Hermione just a hint more—which was saying much—for the question, not thinking she had it in her. "All right then, Granger. I'd have to say..." She thought about it before smiling. "Lupin."

Olivia could agree with that one, inclining her head to the side. "That's a good one."

"There's something about those scars across his face," Pansy added, getting a look from Blaise as her smile grew. She found his eyes, noticing the raised brows, and gave him a confused look. "What?"

He just shook his head, snorting.

Pansy was up next, and she focused on Lucas. "Lucas, truth or dare?"

"Dare," he replied.

"Finally! Someone who's not playing safe," Blaise cheered.

Pansy smiled at her boyfriend, knowing that the Firewhisky he chugged was starting to get to him. He was becoming more talkative. "I dare you to kiss your little friend right there." She pointed at Akeno, who sat between the chair Draco sat in and Ginny's legs.

Lucas focused on the boy, and Olivia could see her brother's face heating. "Akeno?" He looked over at Pansy again, then cleared his throat.

She nodded with a hum.

Olivia held back her smile, knowing that this would be the first time (publically, at least) that he'd kissed Akeno. Or any boy, for that matter. So she leaned down a little bit, bringing herself closer to him, while he remained focused on the boy in front of him, who seemed to be holding back a smile. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Luke," she whispered. "Remember that."

He found her gaze, offering a small smile. "I know." Then he focused back on Akeno, holding back an even bigger smile. He cleared his throat then moved a bit forward, coming closer to the boy, who did the same. Their lips met a second later. The kiss didn't last long; the first-time nerves no doubt got to the boys, but it made Olivia happy seeing how cheesy her brother was trying not to be once they pulled a part.

Lucas moved back to it in his spot as Akeno did the same, both of them with slightly pinker cheeks. The group remained silent for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Well, I suppose it's my turn now. Astoria, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Daphne once told Olivia that you looked up to her; that's why you were always so shy around her, and I was wondering—is that still true?" He paused, then glanced over at Blaise, seeing him open his mouth to speak. "I know, I know, Blaise, it's a boring question, but it's all I can think of at the moment."

"Yes," Astoria replied, causing Daphne's eyes to snap to her. "It is true."

Daphne scoffed, shaking her head as she looked away from her younger sister, clearly annoyed with the fact.

Olivia just smirked.

Astoria shifted in her spot, focusing on her sister while no one else said anything more about the question or answer. "Daphne, truth or dare?"

The blonde found her gaze with raised brows. "Truth, I suppose."

"Do you still fancy Draco? Is that why you hold such a grudge against Olivia?"

Daphne's mouth fell open as Olivia leaned back in her seat, waiting for the answer. Her eyes shifted over to the girl, narrowing, then they found Draco, whose expression was blank, like he didn't care about hearing the answer. Olivia was sure he didn't.

"No, I don't still fancy Draco, Astoria," she said rather harshly. Then she focused on the girl sitting across from her. "I do still hold a grudge against Olivia, however, because she's a bitch and a liar who thinks she's better than everyone else."

Olivia shrugged, still smirking. "I've been called worse." She sat up in her seat, her eyes remaining on Daphne. "Though I am curious as to why you think I believe I am better than everyone else. Is it because I truthfully had Draco and you didn't?" She gave her a questioning look, seeing the annoyance on her face. "No?" She raised her brows. "All right, is it because I was deemed a magical prodigy at just the mere age of eleven, as I am one of the most advanced witches here?"

Daphne still didn't say anything.

"No, I suppose that's not right," Olivia continued. "Perhaps it is because I have some of the highest marks in our year—well, really some of the highest marks in the school—and always have. Or because I survived death a multitude of times, one of them being when I was quite literally hit by the killing curse. Or perhaps it's because my family is not tied to Voldemort and traditional ways and is not riddled with typical pureblood ideology that is being shoved down mine and my dear brother's throats every second of every day, even despite us not following him or agreeing with it." She let out a light laugh, finding amusement in the silence among them, knowing she had just described Daphne and Astoria's situation with their family. "Huh, perhaps I am better than everyone else. At least everyone in Slytherin anyway." She smirked confidently, leaning back in her seat.

Daphne seemed to be fuming, but she didn't let her anger take over her. She just took a moment to look around the group of people, who were all staring between them in shock. Then her focus stopped on Olivia again, who was still smirking even though she already wanted the night to be over. Daphne thought for a moment, and then a small smirk curled at her lips. "Olivia, truth or dare?"

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brows.

"Truth or dare?" Daphne repeated, enunciating each word.

Olivia inhaled deeply before exhaling, both times through her nose. "Truth."

Daphne paused for a moment, her eyes trained on the girl as she decided what to ask. "Is it true that your intentions of getting closer to Draco in third year weren't entirely pure-hearted?"

Olivia blinked. "I don't know what you mean."

"It's a simple yes or no, Olivia." Daphne was obviously trying to keep her composure, her tone tight. "Answer the question."

Olivia leaned a bit forward, placing her hands on the edge of the couch as she did so. "How am I supposed to answer if I'm not sure what you mean?" Her tone was harsh as she narrowed her eyes on the girl.

"You need to tell him the truth, Olivia," Daphne went on, her annoyance rising.

Olivia stood up from the couch, tossing up her hands. "What truth?"

"That you only got closer to him just to get back at me for something I didn't even do!" Daphne stood up as well, her voice loud with her growing frustration. She clearly had been wanting to get her words out for a while.

Olivia and the others fell silent, all of the ones still sitting focused on the girls intently with slack jaws. "That is not true," Olivia stated, her voice not nearly as loud as it was before. It wasn't true, and Daphne was a fool for thinking otherwise.

Daphne huffed out a breath, staring at Olivia with frustration. "You could have anyone you want—Theodore, Harry, any of the boys that asked you to the Yule Ball, even Ron; why do you have to have Draco?" She asked, clearly upset that she never got her chance with him.

If she ever had one, that was.

Olivia wasn't sure if she did, and that wasn't trying to be rude. It was just the truth.

But what did she mean by Theodore, Harry, and Weasley? Olivia's brows knitted, this question ringing in her mind as she stared at Daphne with confusion, the others simply watching the interaction with shock, the named boys shifting in their seats uncomfortably. "What are you on about?"

Daphne laughed bitterly. She ran her hand through her hair, slightly pulling at her roots before she dropped her hands to her sides again. "It's mind-boggling how blind you are to it," she admitted, sounding astounded but also not surprised at the same time. "Theodore has been in love with you since the day he met you," she gestured at the boy, then focused her attention on Harry. "Harry has some weird fascination with you; it's clear as day, and so does Ron. I mean, how could they not? You're the great Olivia Mallard." She huffed. "You don't notice because you're so caught up with Draco."

Olivia's brows knitted even deeper. The girl had gone mad.

"Thanks for that, Daphne," Theodore muttered awkwardly, rubbing his hands along his thighs as they all focused on him. Olivia stared at him with confusion, but he didn't meet her gaze. He just stood up from his seat without another word and walked away, with everyone watching him go.

Olivia's mouth opened in shock, wondering if what Daphne was saying was true. Had that been the reason he tried to kiss her and why he was always flirting with her? She had thought that was Theodore just being Theodore, but perhaps she was wrong. She needed to know. So, without finishing her discussion with Daphne or casting a glance in anyone else's direction, completely ignoring the fact that the girl had mentioned some type of fascination that Harry and Weasley (that couldn't be possible, could it?) had with her, she followed after Theodore.

She weaved her way through a crowd of students, pushing past them as she trailed behind the boy, seeing him heading towards the door. She did her best to catch up with him, exiting right after him. "Theodore," she called out, causing him to stop in his tracks.

"What do you want, Olivia?" He asked lowly, barely turning his head over his shoulder, not meeting her gaze.

She moved a bit closer, only taking a few steps. "Is what Daphne said true?"

He fell silent for a moment, facing forward again, just letting her stare at his back. Then he turned around to focus on her. She could see the fighting emotions in his expression. It was only them in the corridor at the moment, Crabbe and Goyle having retired inside since everyone that was to show up had already done so. "Yes," he finally confessed. "It is true. I thought that bit would be obvious. I thought I made it obvious."

Olivia neared closer, not taking her eyes off of his but still keeping some distance between them. "So that's why you tried to kiss me?" She already knew the answer, and her tone was soft, like if she spoke too loudly, it would make it real. She would've never thought Theodore had true feelings for her. An attraction wouldn't be too far off for her not to understand, but actual feelings? It made no sense to her. Had she truly been that blinded by Draco? How had she not noticed before?

He nodded. "Yes."

"And why you're always flirting with me," she continued, the tension clear in her voice.

He didn't answer, not needing to.

"I thought that was just you being you." She breathed out a laugh, though nothing was funny. "I thought you were just flirting with me like you do every other girl."

"I don't do that with every other girl, Olivia." He shook his head. "Only with you."

Olivia didn't know what to say.

Luckily, Theodore continued, taking a step closer. "You don't see how much you mean to me. How much you've always meant to me." He got even closer, and she subconsciously took a step back, not because she didn't want him close to her but because she didn't know what would happen if he did get closer. What she might do.

Then suddenly, her back was hitting the wall, causing her breath to hitch, and Theodore was right in front of her. They stared into each other's eyes, their chests rising and falling heavily. She could feel his breath on her face, smelling the mintiness but also the smallest hint of firewhisky. He lifted his hands to cup the sides of her face as he brushed some of her hair back, a desperate and pleading expression on his face. He shook his head like he was fighting himself in his mind as her heart raced, his blue eyes flickering over her green ones. "I could be so good to you, Olivia," he whispered, tucking some of her hair behind her ears, "if you'd just give me a chance. I could treat you so much better than he does. I wouldn't take you for granted."

Olivia's mouth fell open; her brows creased in shock. Her breathing was heavy, her heart feeling like it was about to burst from her chest with how hard it was beating. She wasn't sure why she was feeling this way, and she certainly wasn't sure why her gaze fell to his lips. But she was sure his did the same to hers.

"Kiss me," she breathed out after a moment. Her words were barely above a whisper as she met his gaze once more.

He looked at her with surprise but also desperation. "What?"

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat, not sure if what she was doing was a mistake or not. "I want to test something... So kiss me, Theodore." She glanced down at his lips, shifting a little closer, though she wasn't sure how that was even possible. "Kiss me."

She was barely able to get her words out before he was pulling her close to him with one hand on the back of her head and the other on her back, planting his lips on hers, her body pressing against his. A small whimper fell from her mouth into his due to the force with which he kissed her, like it was something he'd been waiting lifetimes to do. Her hand found his hair, her fingers entangling in his soft curls, pulling on them gently. He pushed her further against the wall, and she felt his tongue brush against her lips. She opened her mouth, letting his tongue enter and slide against hers.

The feeling of kissing Theodore was so new to her, but it didn't feel wrong in the slightest. It wasn't like how it felt when she was kissing Draco. Something about it was different besides the person, and she couldn't quite place it.

Just as she went to lean into the kiss some more, the sound of a door slamming rang in their ears, and the two of them pulled apart. Their heads immediately snapped over to the wall the common room lay behind, only to see that it wasn't blank but that the door was showing, alerting that it had been opened.

Olivia's heart sank, already having an idea of who it was to have seen them. She felt panic run through her body as she pushed Theodore away and began towards the door. She didn't stop when he called out her name, his hand brushing against her forearm in an attempt to catch her. She went over to the door quickly before it disappeared and rushed inside. Her steps were hasty as she pushed through the crowd, trying to catch sight of that familiar head of pale blonde hair. But when she did, it wasn't how she ever wanted to find him.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth falling open as she focused on his back. On what he was doing. He was... kissing someone else. Just like she had been doing. But it wasn't just someone else, some random person; it was Daphne.

The others, who were still sitting on the couches, looked up at the pair, also seeming shocked by it, but Olivia's eyes remained on the sight in front of her, feeling something pegging in her heart.

She knew she had no right to be upset with him. He had caught her snogging Theodore after all, but this was Daphne they were talking about. She had killed Tommy out of a fit of jealousy. She had taunted Olivia with her favorite quote written over her dead cat's body, written in his blood. How could he kiss her?

"Draco," Pansy said sharply.

It was then that Olivia realized the girl was staring at her. She watched as Draco pulled back from Daphne, who was left in shock, and glanced over at Pansy, who in turn nodded in Olivia's direction, alerting him of her presence. He turned around, focusing on Olivia, who felt her chin wobble as her eyes locked with his. He had an unreadable expression on his face as she walked closer to him, lifting her hands to go around to the back of her neck and unclasp her necklace. Then she stopped in front of him, grabbing his hand with one of hers as she held the necklace in the other, and dropped the chain and charm in his palm, looking down at it with hurt on her face.

He stared down at it as well, and it was only a second later until her hand left his and she turned around to walk away. His gaze followed her as she pushed through the crowd again, finding her way to the stairs that led to the girls' dorms as Theodore reentered the common room, looking around.

Noticing the boy's presence, Draco jumped into action, following Olivia as he clutched the necklace tighter in his hand. He followed where Olivia went, making his way up the left staircase and to her room, only catching a glimpse of her before her door was open and she was inside. He stopped at the door, breathing heavily as he stared at it before he opened it and entered as well.

Olivia was pacing back and forth when the door closed behind him, her hands tangled in her hair as she seemed to be racking her brain. She wasn't crying yet, but she felt right on the edge of doing so. She knew he was there, the feeling of him all too apparent, but she didn't stop. Not for a long moment, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

When she finally looked at him, seeing the same unreadable expression on his face, she asked in a whisper, "Why did you kiss her?"

"Why did you kiss Theodore?" he countered, taking a step forward.

A tear slipped down her cheek. She didn't know why she kissed Theodore; she didn't know what answer to give him, so she remained silent as she turned around, facing her back to him. Her hands found their way back into her hair, pulling at the roots. She was so confused. Everything was so confusing. Her mind and her heart were fighting each other, tears continuing down her face, ones she couldn't stop even if she wanted to.

"Why her, of all people?" She inquired, not facing him, her breath shaky.

Draco was silent for another moment. "Why him, of all people?"

Olivia whipped around, feeling frustrated with him. "Stop replying to my questions with ones of your own!" She huffed out a breath, staring at him with fire in her eyes. "Just answer me truthfully."

"Answer me, then, Olivia." He took a step closer, a hint of annoyance breaking through his mask. His eyes flickered over her, trying to understand what she was thinking. "Why him? Do you have feelings for him? Is that why you are putting space between us? Is Nott the one you want now?"

"No," she replied, sucking in a shaky breath. "I don't know why I kissed him."

Draco sighed. "I only kissed her because of what I saw. It was a rash decision, and I didn't mean it." He took a step forward, grabbing her face gently and lifting her head so that he stared into her eyes. His thumbs ran along her cheeks, wiping away the tears. "You're the only one I want, Olivia. You're the only one I'll ever want. I'm sorry I kissed her."

She tried her best not to lean into his touch. Her mind was running wild with conflicting thoughts as she focused on the floor. She rubbed her lips together as she thought about how to phrase her next words. It was only a second later before she was finding his gaze again, it having never left her. "I don't know why I kissed Theodore, but I don't... regret it."

It was as if a switch flipped, the way his expression went from a sorrowfully kind one to a hurt one. He took a step back from her, causing her to reach for him as he moved away. "Draco," she whispered faintly, her brows furrowing in sorrow. He was too far away from her to catch him as his hands fell to his sides, one of them still holding onto the necklace.

He simply nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek, his eyes not finding hers. He remained quiet for a moment, seeming to go over everything in his mind. And when she went to speak, he lifted his hand, causing her to close her mouth quickly. "I mean, we're not together, and you want space, so I suppose I can't hold it against you too much," he told her, his eyes roaming the floor.

Her brows knitted even more as she took a step forward. "Draco, that's not what I meant." Her voice was faint, like she was so pained that he thought that, as she tried to hold his face in her hands. She stood taller, trying to bring him closer to her, trying to bring his mouth to hers. Though she knew she shouldn't. They needed space. It was for the best.

He pushed her arms away from him gently with his own, shaking his head. "Not after we've both kissed others," he told her quietly. He took another step back from her, looking down at the floor before he finally met her pleading gaze again. "I just..." He paused, not seeming to find the words. "Maybe you're right. Perhaps some time apart will be good. I need to think about some things."

She wondered what things he possibly meant but didn't question him on it.

He focused on the necklace in his hand as he held the top of the chain and dropped it down so he could see the charm clearly. Then he stepped closer to Olivia, who also focused on the necklace, only having had it off for less than ten minutes and already feeling incomplete without it. He grabbed both ends of the chain, holding it open as he moved his hands around the back of her neck and reclasped it, letting the charm rest against the top of her sternum. His hands fell to her arms after that, giving them a gentle squeeze as her eyes found his and her hand found the necklace.

"Never take your necklace off again, no matter how upset you are with me," he told her pointedly, though his tone was somewhat gentle. Then he stepped back from her, giving her one last look-over as she softly nodded, feeling the tears returning in her eyes. He brushed past her after that, heading towards the door as she squeezed her eyes shut.

When he pulled open the door, he was met with Lucas, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression, no doubt upset because he only knew that Draco had kissed Daphne and that Olivia had seen and walked away on the verge of tears. He didn't know that his sister had also kissed someone else.

Draco didn't say anything as he moved past Lucas, who followed him with his eyes, and walked away. Olivia just remained where she stood, covering her face with her hands as she tried not to sob uncontrollably. But that fight was quickly lost when her brother stepped into her room, closed the door behind him, and wrapped his arms around her. She turned so that her face was buried in his chest as her arms wrapped around him, her sobs floating around the room, only slightly muffled by his shirt.

She was so confused.

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

━━━━ ella's speaking !
so um... that happened 🌚

i'm so sorry for saying i'm gonna update more and then disappearing for weeks lmao- i was super busy this month, and the holidays knocked me out. i've also been working on my other fics. anyway, the new year will definitely be better for this fic and my updating schedule! i'm gonna spend the next few days editing the prewritten chapters so i can schedule updates :)

thank you for 51K, it means the world to me 🫶🏻

make sure to comment and vote!

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━ born to die,
© -LOSTGARDENS, dec 2024

word count: 7527. written: 9.25-28.24. published: 12.30.24.