BORN TO DIE ╱ DRACO MALFOY
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
103 ━━━━ ❛ amortentia and liquid luck ❜

Later that same day, Olivia stood in potions with Slughorn. The man was just beginning his lesson. She was standing next to Pansy and Theodore, while Blaise was on her best friend's other side, and Draco was beside him. Crabbe and Goyle were behind them, and Gryffindors were to Olivia's right.

"Attention to detail in the preparation is the prerequisite of all planning," the returned professor explained, standing on one side of the table while the students were gathered on the other side, near the back of the classroom. Then he turned around as the students focused on who had just entered. "Ah, Harry, my boy," Slughorn greeted rather chipperly, a smile on his face. "I was beginning to worry." His eyes moved to Weasley, tipping his head slightly. "You brought someone with us, I see."

The two boys looked at one another, with Harry nonverbally telling his best friend to introduce himself to the man. Weasley let out a small breath through his nose, then focused on the professor with a half-grin as he clutched the strap of his school bag that rested on his shoulder. "Ron Weasley, sir." He let out another breath. "But I'm dead awful at potions, a menace, actually, so I'll probably just go."

Olivia wouldn't argue with him there.

Weasley went to make his escape, but Harry stopped him by placing his hand on his back and pushing him forward.

"Nonsense," Slughorn said with a small smile. "We'll sort you out. Any friend of Harry's is a friend of mine. Get your books out." He turned around to face the students again.

How was Harry already in so well with Slughorn? It was only the second day they'd been back, the first day of classes. Olivia sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Uh, sorry, sir," Harry interrupted, causing the man to face him again. "I haven't actually got my book yet, nor has Ron."

"Not to worry," Slughorn said, facing him again. "Get what you want from the cupboard." He faced the others again, rounding the table as the boys went to the cupboard. "Now, as I was saying, I prepared some concoctions this morning." He came to the front of the table, looking over all of the students that stood in front of him. "Any ideas what these might be?"

Olivia and Hermione both raised their hands at the same time, catching the others' attention. But Slughorn focused on the Gryffindor girl instead, and Olivia rolled her eyes, dropping her hand to her side.

It was always Granger.

"Yes, Miss..."

"Granger, sir," she finished for him, moving her hand from and around her book that she held to her chest once more. Then she stepped forward, closer to the concoctions that the professor spoke of and right at the edge of the table they sat on. "That one there is Veritaserum," she began. "It's a truth-telling serum." They all knew of that one because of Umbridge. "And that would be Polyjuice Potion." Olivia knew the girl was quite familiar with that one. "It's terribly tricky to make." One would know from experience. "And this is Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world." She looked between Slughorn and the cauldron. "I-It's rumored to smell differently to each person according to what attracts them." She glanced away from the man and swallowed nervously, focusing on the cauldron again. "For example, I smell... freshly-mown grass and new parchment, and... spearmint toothpaste." Her voice was breathy, as if she realized something, or something was confirmed.

Olivia hoped to Merlin that Hermione wasn't smelling Weasley, of all people.

Slughorn opened his mouth to speak as the witch retreated back to her spot, now joined by Weasley and Harry. But before he could get a word out, Olivia raised her hand quickly. His focus fell on her, and he raised his brows questioningly. "Yes, Miss..."

"Mallard," she finished for him, just as Hermione had done, putting her hand down. "Isn't it true that Amortentia cannot produce actual love and that those who are created while one or both of their parents are under the effects of the potion cannot feel love?" she asked, remembering tales she had heard throughout the years.

Slughorn looked quite impressed with her questions, a kind smile turning his mouth. "Yes, that is correct," he praised, making her feel more confident in herself. "Since you're so keen on the subject, Miss Mallard, why don't you give it a smell?" He gestured to the cauldron, still with that same smile. His suggestion caught her off guard, and she gave him a surprised look. "Come on, don't be shy. Give it a whiff."

Before Olivia could refuse, already knowing who and what she'd smell and not wanting to admit that out loud, she felt a hand on her back push her forward. She only moved a couple of steps, looking over her shoulder quickly.

Pansy was smirking at her, and she mouthed, "Go on," when their eyes met.

Everyone watched Olivia closely as she slowly faced Slughorn again, raising her chin confidently. Draco's eyes were especially trained on her, burning a hole into the back of her head as she went up to the table and stood in front of the cauldron. "I smell," she started, but her voice quickly died out as she took in and thought about what she was smelling. It was so familiar, and she mentally cursed herself for it. "Firewood. Mint. Apples." She paused, clenching her jaw as she knew that the last thing she smelt was a dead giveaway to the one she was smelling. "And vanilla and caramel, like... saltwater taffy." She cleared her throat, taking a step back.

"Based on the flush of your cheek, deary, I am certain you know who you smell," Slughorn admitted, causing some of the ones around them to snicker, most likely all knowing who she had smelled too. She and Draco weren't exactly secret about their fondness for one another.

"I—" Olivia went to muster a response but fell silent for a moment. She took a deep breath, holding onto her book a little bit tighter. "It's just a bit toasty in here, is all. Yeah?" She walked back over to Pansy, who was giving her a knowing look with a wide smirk. Theodore was staring at the ground, not looking at her, which she noticed but didn't say anything about. Blaise's expression was flat, but Olivia knew he was thinking much the same as Pansy. And Draco was still staring at her, but she didn't look at him, not wanting to show what she was feeling at the moment.

"Amortentia does cause powerful infatuation," he continued as everyone settled. Some of the girls slowly stepped forward, and Olivia didn't miss this. Even Pansy was moving forward. Didn't she already know who she'd smell? She supposed the girl just wanted to confirm. "Or rather, obsession," the man added as the girls eased a bit closer. "And for that reason, it is, probably, the most dangerous potion in this room." Before the girls could get close enough to smell anything, Slughorn placed the lid back on the cauldron, cutting off their chances.

With that, they slowly eased back.

"Sir," Katie Bell, a Gryffindor witch, began, focusing on the professor. "You haven't told us what's in that one." She nodded to the small, teardrop-shaped vial that was being held by a standing holder.

"Oh, yes." Slughorn twisted the screw that kept the vial held tight by the clasp. "What you see before you, ladies and gentlemen, is a curious little potion known as Felix Felicis," he explained, now holding the vial in his hand by the bottom point. He turned to them, readjusting the hold he had on the vial so that he didn't drop it. "But it is more commonly referred to as—"

"Liquid Luck," Olivia and Hermione said in unison. Then the two girls quickly turned their heads to one another, narrowing their gazes slightly. The rivalry in lessons would never end between these two, and Olivia wasn't sure she wanted it to.

"Yes, Miss Granger, Miss Mallard." Professor Slughorn sounded impressed by their quickness as they focused back on him. "Liquid Luck," he repeated. "Desperately tricky to make. Disastrous, should you get it wrong." His words echoed for a moment, his tone showing how important that piece of information was. "One sip of this, and you will find that all of your endeavors succeed," he added, and Olivia saw Draco curiously look up when he hadn't been before.

Odd.

But she didn't pay that close attention to it.

"At least, until the effects wear off," Slughorn clarified, smiling. "So," he rounded the table once more, "this is what I offer each of you today. One tiny vial of Liquid Luck to the student who, in the hour that remains, manages to brew an acceptable Draught of Living Death." He held the vial in the air for them to see. "The recipes for which can be found on page ten of your books."

Olivia had the utmost confidence that she'd win this. Not that she needed the Liquid Luck for anything in particular, but she would like to have it just in case. And with Snape's helpings that he'd taught her during a few of their weekly meetings and the corrections he'd placed within the Advanced Potions-Making book he'd sent to her over the summer so that she'd be prepared for the year to come, she was certain she wouldn't be beaten.

"I should point out, however," the man in front of them continued as they all flipped open their books to page ten, "only once did a student manage to brew a potion of sufficient quality to claim this prize." He raised the vial a little higher, like he was toasting. "Nevertheless, good luck to you all. Let the brewing commence."

Everyone walked to their working stations after that, with the Slytherins taking up one for themselves. Draco, of course, stood right next to Olivia. Blaise was to her left, with Pansy, Theodore, Crabbe, and Goyle next to him. Olivia set her book down, already on page ten, and began reading over the instructions for brewing Draught of Living Death. Then she read over Snape's corrections to see what the man did differently. It wasn't too much, and she trusted him after his fifteen years of experience as Potions Master.

Ingredients and supplies were gathered after that, cauldrons were placed on the burners, and the brewing began. It was only then, however, that it hit her.

Train Boy wasn't anywhere to be seen in the class.

Had he not opted to take potions? That wouldn't be surprising to her.

Potion-making was an acquired taste, and some simply didn't have the patience or talent for it. Perhaps he was one of those people. She didn't know his O.W.L. results; he could've done terrible in potions, not that she particularly cared. She, on the other hand, had gotten all Os, even in Divination, which she was quite proud of. Some around the room seemed to be some of those people that weren't made out for potions, unfortunately. Snape, when he was potions master, had been known to only accept students with Os in potions. Slughorn clearly wasn't the same.

Olivia simply began to work, preparing the water in her beaker with African Sea Salt. Once it was ready, she slowly poured it into her cauldron, then added in drops of the Essence of Wormwood as instructed. When that was done, she moved on to cutting up three Valerian roots into small pieces and added them to her beaker along with some more water, which she let settle for seven minutes.

Around the room was utter chaos. Seamus blew up his potion. The how was completely unknown to Olivia; that boy was always blowing things up. Crabbe somehow melted his stirring rod as he mixed the contents of his cauldron. Pansy's hair began to look rather frizzy, and her expression was one of stress. Theodore seemed rather bored but focused as well as he could on his potion. Blaise, Draco, and Olivia just continued working on theirs, seeming unfazed by the mishaps of everyone else.

Olivia ignored the Sopophorous beans that kept flying around the room, almost hitting everyone in the room. One went for Crabbe and Blaise's heads but was effortlessly caught by Slughorn as the boys leaned to the side. She knew that they were slipping off the tables and flying around the room because everyone was trying to cut them, as said in the instructions of the book, instead of crushing them with their blades like Snape had corrected in her book.

With that in mind, she went to grab a bean for herself, but as she did, Draco reached for the same one. Why he was reaching for the one she was reaching for, the one she had gathered, she didn't know, seeing as he had one right next to him, on the opposite side of his cauldron. Their hands brushed, and she quickly looked up at him as he looked at her. Their eyes remained on one another, with her feeling her stomach flutter.

She had told him earlier that day that they were not together, and they weren't, but that didn't mean the spark wasn't there. It was definitely there.

Peeling her eyes off of him, Olivia snatched her hand back and waited until he moved his before she grabbed the Sopophorous bean. She cleared her throat, shifting from one foot to the other, and refocused on her work. She crushed the bean with her blade, despite the original instructions saying to cut it, and poured the juice into her cauldron.

Olivia felt her work was going quite well.

Did it partially have to do with the help that she'd gotten from Snape? Of course, but it wasn't as if she were cheating. No, she was just doing it a different way than the rest, but it would have the same outcome if done correctly.

She continued on with her potion, adding seven drops of the liquid from her beaker into her cauldron. Then she stirred ten times clockwise. That was when her potion began turning a light shade of lilac, which made her smile. She began stirring counterclockwise, doing that seven times before adding in another clockwise stir, then three more times counterclockwise, per Snape's instructions, letting each stir take two and a half seconds. After that, she slowly put in seven pieces of Valerian root, then stirred counterclockwise again, adding in a clockwise stir after the seventh. Next was to add in one hundred and fifty fluid ounces of Powdered Root of Asphodel.

Holding the cauldron with her right hand, Olivia stirred seven times counterclockwise with her left hand, added in a clockwise stir, then three more times counterclockwise before eight times clockwise. She let the potion settle for two and a half minutes before adding in one small piece of Valerian root.

Her potion was finally done, clear as could be, so she quickly raised her hand to catch Slughorn's attention. But someone else did as well, and the man's focus went to him first. Yes, him. Not Hermione, but rather Harry. Olivia followed the professor with her eyes as he made his way over to the boy, not even casting a glance in her direction.

Her eyes slightly narrowed as she dropped her arm to her side. She watched closely as Slughorn dropped a small leaf into Harry's Draught of Living Death, and then... "Merlin's beard." The professor let out a small chuckle. "It is perfect!" Hermione gave the man a clearly tense and fake smile, her hair going back to its natural puffiness from the vapors of her cauldron. "So perfect, I daresay, one drop would kill us all."

Olivia could've sworn she felt her eye twitch.

But then Slughorn turned to her, offering a smile. "Now, Miss Mallard, let us see how yours has gone," he said, and everyone watched him walk over to her and the others' working station. He rounded Draco, coming to stand between him and Olivia. His eyes focused on her cauldron as she looked at him with a tight smile. He dropped a small leaf into her potion like he had done with Harry, and it burned up just as it was supposed to. "Perfect!" he praised, and her smile became less tense. "But unfortunately, Harry is to win the vial of Liquid Luck since his was examined first." He didn't even seem to notice Olivia's kind expression flicker. "Perhaps next time." He patted her shoulder.

"Yes, perhaps," she replied, still smiling as she said the words through her teeth.

Slughorn removed his hand from her shoulder and turned away from her as he started back to the back of the class, where the vial of Liquid Luck was. She watched him, her smile falling as soon as he wasn't facing her.

She was quite the sore loser.

"But, sir." Draco's voice rang in their ears, causing Slughorn to face him with raised brows. Olivia looked up at him as well, wondering what he had to say. "I don't think that's quite fair." He glanced over at Olivia, then back to the professor. "Olivia finished right as Potter did. I feel she deserves the Liquid Luck as much as he does," he admitted, not wanting to seem to admit that Harry deserved anything at all.

Olivia's heart skipped a beat. It wasn't a big gesture, but it was something, and that meant a good deal to her. She just continued to stare at the side of his face, a small smile fighting its way onto her lips, but she caught it before it could show for too long and focused on Slughorn.

The professor seemed to think for a moment as everyone watched him closely. "Right you are, Mr. Malfoy," he finally replied, not even questioning whom he was speaking with. The white-blonde hair, gray eyes, Slytherin robes, and pale skin sort of gave it away. There was never any hiding that Draco was a Malfoy. "Luckily, I have a second vial just for a moment like this." He wagged his finger tellingly.

Why didn't he just say that in the first place?

"How convenient," Olivia added, tightly smiling once more.

"I find it keeps the students more motivated to complete tasks when fighting only for one prize," he explained, though it didn't really make a difference. Olivia would've fought just as hard and worked as fast for second place if she knew it was an option (she still would've wanted first).

A moment later, Olivia and Harry stood in front of everyone alongside Slughorn. Her eyes roamed over all of her classmates, who looked rather... disheveled, some with their hair messy and frizzy, Seamus with soot all over his face, and the majority of them with annoyed looks on their faces. They had to pretend to be excited for them when, in reality, they were less than so, wanting the Liquid Luck for themselves. Olivia didn't blame them; she would've been the same way as well if Draco hadn't reminded Slughorn that he had a second vial.

"Ah, then. As promised. One vial of Felix Felicis for Harry." He went to hand the vial to Harry, who went to take it, but pulled it back at the last second. "Congratulations," he added with a smile, handing the boy the vial, then turned to Olivia. "And one for Miss Mallard." He handed her the other vial, which she took, continuing to smile. "Congratulations to you as well." He glanced between her and Harry, wagging and pointing a telling finger at both of them. "Use it well."

Then the applause began, following Slughorn's start of it. No one seemed exactly thrilled other than the professor, Harry, and Olivia, who all had smiles on their faces, the two students looking proud with themselves as they held the vials in the air for all the others to see. Her eyes caught onto her friends, watching as they all slowly clapped and knowing that it was only for her. They still had bored looks on their faces, clearly disappointed that they hadn't won, but also, there was a hint of pride since she had won.

She glanced over at Harry, studying him curiously. Then he found her gaze, offering her a smile, and she quickly returned it, with a single thought on her mind.

They'd both won.

She knew this obviously. She also knew how she had won, too, with the help of Snape's corrections in the book he had given her. It wasn't cheating, just a different way of doing things. It had given her a bit of an advantage, though, making the time spent making the actual potion go by quicker since she hadn't been struggling with everything. An easier and simpler solution to most problems the others were facing.

She and Harry had finished their potions at precisely the same time, while the others continued on theirs. She had expected to finish before everyone else; that was why she had gone by Snape's corrections. But Harry finished at the same time as her. The exact same time. And she knew that Snape wouldn't have given the boy the same corrections as her—he didn't particularly care for him all that much, and she believed that something had to do with his father.

So the question was...

How did he do it?

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

Later that day, Olivia stood in the library. It was during lunch, meaning she should've been in the Great Hall and eating with her friends, and she had done that, but she left early, not wanting to waste any time she had to study and work so that she could be ahead like she had every year. The question of how Harry had completed his potion at the exact same time as her still buzzed around in her mind, but she tried her best to push it aside as she searched for the books she needed.

Once she gathered them, she went back to her table towards the back of the room and between two shelves, setting them down on top of it. Her hands rested on the woodtop as she took in everything piled in front of her, trying to decide where to start. Her gaze flickered all over her parchment with jotted-down notes and the books, while her assignments roamed her mind.

"What are you working on, Olivia?" She heard and felt Draco whisper against her ear suddenly, and she sucked in a startled breath quickly. She looked over her shoulder to meet his gaze as she felt his hand rest on her hip. He was staring down at her, a slightly smug look on his face. "Anything of interest?"

"Not to you," she replied, rolling her eyes as she focused back on the mess in front of her. She didn't push him away from her, and she hated herself for leaning back into him—the front of his body pressed against her back. She could feel the heat of his skin through his robes and her uniform (since she had taken her robe off and shoved it into her bag when settling at her table), and she tried to keep her mind focused on what she was doing before he had shown up. But it was impossible to ignore the feeling of him and the fact that her heart was beating heavier and her breathing was much the same.

Why did he have this effect on her?

She felt his lips brush against her ear again, and she shuddered. "Why the change?" he asked, and she didn't even have to ask him what he meant because she watched him run his hand along the hem of her knee-high socks. "I thought you'd rather spend a day with Umbridge than give up your tights and boots."

"That's a reach," she countered, her face twisting in disgust at the mention of the former professor and Headmistress of Hogwarts as she glanced over her shoulder at him. Then she looked down at his hand again when his fingers brushed against her skin above her knee and at the base of her thigh. She tried to keep her composure, not letting him know how he was making her feel, his touch leaving a trail of shivers in their wake. "And things change," she added, her voice slightly giving her away before she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"They certainly do," he replied breathlessly. His eyes were on his hand as he watched it closely, moving it higher up her thigh, feeling her muscles tense beneath his fingertips as she leaned in closer to his chest, her mouth hanging open just barely. "They did between us." His words quickly snapped her out of her trance in an instant as they reminded her of that night in her room, but more specifically, what happened the morning after. He didn't seem to notice, though. "You know, this change in wardrobe makes it easier for me to..." His hand continued up her thigh, but before it could get to where she knew he was hinting at, she pushed it away and then turned around and pushed him away.

She watched him stumble back a few steps, almost hitting the shelf behind him but catching himself before doing so. She crossed her arms over her chest as he gave her a confused look, and she just countered it with a scowl. He stared at her with furrowed brows, and she held back the urge to yell at him. They were in a library, after all. She wasn't upset about him trying to touch her; she had wanted that before his big mouth reminded her of the reason she wanted to keep her distance in the first place.

"Thank you," she said, keeping her voice as steady as possible.

This only made his confusion deepen. "For what?"

"Reminding me of why I am upset with you," she admitted, raising her chin pridefully. Her arms fell to her sides as she turned back to her table, beginning to gather her things. She stacked her parchment as neatly as possible, shoving it into one of her books, then into her bag as he stepped closer to her again, this time standing by her side.

"You're upset with me?" he asked as if she hadn't just said as much. He still looked perplexed, with his brows knitted and his arms raised openly, though she didn't notice because she didn't look at him as she stacked the borrowed books. "I thought you said that everything was fine between us."

She had said that. But that didn't mean it was the truth.

"Things change," she repeated, still not looking at him as she grabbed the strap of her bag and placed it on her shoulder, then grabbed the library's books. She turned around, facing forward as she began walking away.

He quickly followed her, grabbing her shoulder gently and turning her to face him, though she didn't meet his gaze. "Whatever I did, Olivia, just tell me and I'll fix it." He sounded a tad desperate.

"I think you not knowing makes this a million times worse," she sighed, staring at nothing particular beside him.

He cupped her face with his hands, bringing her attention to him. When her eyes caught his, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers hard, as he had earlier in the alcove. This time he didn't linger for longer than a moment. He pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Please tell me," he pleaded, lifting his head so that he could look into her eyes. "I will do anything."

She stared at him blankly. "Anything?"

"Yes."

"Stay away from me," she told him, her tone and expression flat.

His brows knitted and his gaze flickered, clearly caught off-guard by her response. "What?"

"I think that distance will be best for us," she confessed, while his hands remained holding either side of her face. "I thought I made that clear earlier when I told you that we're not together."

He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't get any words out because they both heard someone in the distance ask, "Have you seen Olivia Mallard?" She turned around at the sound of this voice, facing the open space between the bookshelves they stood between as Draco's hands fell from her face. "No? All right then," the voice added, and a second later, Train Boy was walking past them. He glanced over at the feeling of eyes on him and came to a halt when he realized who was staring at him. "Oh, there you are." He offered a small smile to Olivia, and then his eyes found Draco, and the smile fell.

Olivia turned her head to her shoulder but didn't look up at Draco, whom she felt take a step closer to her. She had no doubt in her mind that he was glaring at the boy in front of them.

"Do you mind?" Draco asked, his tone rude. "We were in the middle of something."

"Actually," Olivia interrupted, facing Train Boy again. "We were just finished." She offered a small smile to the boy in front of her, completely ignoring Draco and walked forward. "Let's go this way." She pointed in the direction leading towards the front of the library. "I need to put these away," she added, lifting up the books in her hands for him to see.

He nodded, and they walked away after that, leaving Draco to stand where he did. They made their way around the library so she could put up her books. The journey was silent, seeing as neither really had much to say, which was odd since he'd been searching for her.

"Why were you looking for me?" she asked, furrowing her brows as they pushed through the double doors of the library. She was staring at him already when he looked over at her. The confusion was clear on his face, so she elaborated, "Back there, before you found me and Draco, we heard you asking if someone had seen me."

"Oh, right." He nodded. "Well, I haven't seen you since he, Draco, asked to speak with you after class. I went to the Great Hall to find you, but you weren't there, and a girl told me that you had gone to the library. She was looking at me kind of oddly now that I'm thinking of it."

Olivia nodded, knowing that the girl was probably Pansy. "Does she have medium-length black hair and green eyes? Was she smirking at you like she knew something you didn't?" Her tone told him that she already knew the answer to her own questions.

"Yes," he replied, eyeing her curiously. "Is she a friend of yours?"

"My best," she answered, smiling. "Pansy Parkinson."

"Ah, that makes sense now." He raised his chin in understanding, then grinned.

Perhaps he wasn't as bad as Olivia thought him to be. Perhaps that was the keyword. She wasn't going to put her eggs all in one basket just yet. There was still something about him that was bothering her, and she didn't know what it was. But she hoped to figure it out soon.

She hoped to figure out a lot of things soon.

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

Once lessons were over, Olivia walked around the school alone for a bit before going to the Astronomy Tower, then she finally headed to the common room. The truth was, she hadn't been looking forward to going there; in fact, she'd been avoiding it with her stroll around the school and her stop in the tower, not wanting to see Draco after what she had told him. She wondered if he had told the others what she demanded of him. That had been on her mind as well, and it also added to her not wanting to return to the common land of Slytherins. But she had to at some point. Dinner was going to begin soon anyway, and she wanted to walk with them.

So, after she reached the blank wall and whispered the password, causing the door to appear, she opened it and walked inside. Immediately, her eyes landed on her friends, including Draco, sitting on the couches, talking amongst each other. She lingered near the door for a moment, taking in a deep breath, before she shut it and made her way over to them with cautious steps.

Pansy did a double take in her direction, the first time not realizing that it was her standing there, and a small smile appeared on her face when she focused on the girl for the second time. "Hi, Olivia," she said brightly, causing everyone else to look over at her as well. "Where have you been?"

Olivia's eyes were on Draco, who quickly looked away from her and at his shiny shoes. Then her gaze slowly turned to her best friend as she opened her mouth to answer. But not even a word came out, and Draco was standing and brushing past her, his shoulder bumping hers in the process.

This seemed to confuse everyone as they all watched him walk to the staircase that led to the boys' dorms. Clearly, he hadn't told them about what she'd said.

"Where are you going, Draco?" asked Pansy, calling out after the boy.

He didn't even glance back at them as he replied, "Olivia wants me to keep my distance, so that's what I am doing. I am giving her distance."

"Are you not going to eat dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

And with that, he went up the stairs quickly, disappearing from their sight.

Olivia felt her chest tighten and her heart squeeze as she chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep her chin from wobbling. She had no right to cry about; she had been the one to ask for him to stay away from her, after all. But she was still upset about him leaving her all alone after asking him to stay with her.

She could feel the eyes of the others on her, no doubt searching for an explanation as to what Draco had meant, but she didn't look up from the ground, which she aimlessly stared at, feeling her eyes welling with tears. Simply, she just turned, almost finding herself following after the boy as she had done many times before, but she stopped before she could and made her way to the opposite staircase.

"Olivia." Pansy tried to catch the girl's attention before she was too far. But when Olivia didn't stop, she sighed in defeat.

Olivia climbed up the stairs and headed straight for her and Pansy's room, which she entered quickly. She closed the door behind her, pressing her back against it as it shut, and took in a deep breath through her nose, letting out from her mouth. This was going to be harder than she thought it'd been, staying away from Draco when she so desperately wanted to be near him.

But she couldn't keep going through the same cycle. It was driving her mad.

After a moment, she removed herself from the door and made her way over to her bed, sitting down with her back against her pillows and Mr. Snake at her side. She just wanted to be in silence, no longer having an appetite for food or to socialize with anyone, not that she ever truly wanted to do the latter. But her silence only lasted so long before the door was opening and Pansy was walking in.

Her best friend quickly shut the door and came to her side, sitting down to her right. "What's wrong between you and Draco?" she asked, her expression and voice full of nothing but concern. Her arm wrapped around Olivia's shoulders, resting on her left tricep and hugging her more into her side, while her right hand was on the girl's other tricep. "What did he mean down there?"

Olivia sighed, feeling some tears finally falling. "I asked him for space."

"Why? What happened?"

Olivia inhaled and exhaled deeply again, trying to keep herself calm and her voice from faltering before she spoke. "Over the summer one night, Draco showed up to the manor and somehow got in," she began, not even sure if she wanted to confess what had happened. "He brought me back my necklace since my mother had taken it and given it back to his mother, and long story short, we... uhm... we..." She looked up at Pansy, not really knowing how to phrase it.

Luckily, Pansy understood what she meant. "Oh..."

"Yeah." Olivia looked away from her, focusing on nothing in particular. "We showered—"

"Together?" Her eyes were wide.

"Yes," Olivia answered. "And I asked him to stay afterwards, and he did, but when I woke up the next morning, he was gone. He'd left and didn't even tell me or leave a note or anything," she said, the last part coming out more aggressively than she intended—more full of emotion. She took another deep breath. "He doesn't even realize what he did wrong, Pans. It's the same as always."

"Why don't you just tell him what he did wrong?"

"Because it will end just the same." She sighed. "I will tell him, he'll say something sweet, and I'll forgive him; then we'll be good for a bit, and then he'll do something, or I'll do something to mess it up again." She paused, sniffling as she wiped away some of her tears. "It's always the same, and I am getting tired of it. Everything is always the same. I want—"

"Change?" Pansy guessed, her assumption correct.

"Yes. I want change."

"Is that why you suddenly decided to wear socks and Mary Janes instead of your usual boots and tights? You wanted something to change?"

Olivia turned her head slowly, her eyes still cast down. Then she looked up at Pansy, seeing the girl giving her a look of sympathy. She bit the inside of her cheek and softly nodded, humming in confirmation. "But I didn't ask Draco for distance simply because of the want for change. I do think it would be best for us, if there even is an us," she explained, telling nothing but the truth. "The timing could've been a little better. He just lost his father to Azkaban, after all. But I know what's best for me, and this is it."

"And that's all that matters, Olivia," Pansy reassured. "Doing what you need to do, not what anyone expects of you or what could be seen as the better option. I'm sure Draco will come to realize that soon enough."

"I hope so."

"But I do think you need to talk to him; tell him how you feel, just so he's aware of it all and not racking his mind and driving himself mental trying to figure it out," she added, her tone soft with a matching smile.

"Perhaps."

"Come here," she told her, pulling her down to lay down on the bed. They faced each other, and Pansy softly stroked Olivia's hair, tucking some behind her ear like Draco had done many times before. She stared at Olivia, her gaze kind and understanding, the same as the hint of a curl at the corners of her mouth that still lingered as she studied her best friend. "So... are we going to talk about how you smelt him in the Amortentia, or no?"

"Nope."

"All right then," Pansy said, drawing out the words. "Tell me how you completed brewing the Draught of Living Death so quickly and perfectly. I want to know all of your secrets."

Olivia shook her head, slightly feeling better now that Pansy was trying to distract her. "Not going to happen."

Pansy sighed. "You're no fun." A small pout made its way to her mouth, her brows creasing and her bottom lip poking out. "I want to be a master at potions too." She thought for a moment, and then it seemed as though something dawned on her based on the gasp she let out and her face twisting in surprise. "Oh, did Snape teach you all of his secrets in your secret meetings that Umbridge banned last year?" She smirked as something else came to mind. "Did you seduce it out of him?" she questioned teasingly, poking Olivia's stomach with her finger a few times.

Olivia's expression turned into nothing but disgust. "Ew, no, Pansy. That's disgusting." She grimaced as Pansy cackled at the reaction her words brought about. "He's like a father to me or a weird uncle."

Pansy genuinely seemed surprised by this, her brows raising. "Really?"

"Yes," Olivia answered. "The meetings started because I needed to discuss my feelings and everything going on that I didn't want to burden anyone else with. It was his idea so that I wouldn't lash out."

"Oh," Pansy muttered. "When did they start?"

"In third year."

"Sweet Salazar, was that what I thought was a date?"

Olivia smirked, remembering back to when her best friend thought her first ever meeting with Snape was some sort of "hot date" with an unknown-to-them boy and ultimately made Draco jealous, which Olivia didn't exactly mind. "Yes." She nodded. "That was the first one."

"Why didn't you correct me?"

"Because I found it funny," Olivia confessed with a small shrug.

Pansy rolled her eyes and then fell silent again as she seemed to think some more. "Do you talk about Draco in these meetings?" She sounded sincere, and then she smirked. "Do you discuss all of your deep and forbidden feelings for him with Snape, of all people?"

Olivia didn't answer, feeling her face heat.

Draco was one of the main topics.

Pansy laughed at the girl's flush. "Ah, I knew!"

Olivia rolled her eyes but fought back a smile at her friend's cheerfulness.

"Wait," Pansy grew serious again, putting her hand on Olivia's arm as she stared into her eyes. "Do you remember how Slughorn noted your flush earlier after you smelt Draco in the Amortentia? Even he knows, and it's his second day here!"

"It's technically not his second day since he worked here before, years ago," Olivia corrected, sounding like the know-it-all she could be. "But I'll let it slide since you probably didn't know." She then gave her a pointed look. "And I thought we weren't going to talk about the Amortentia."

"Whatever," Pansy dismissed with a wave of her hand. "And we're not; I was talking about what happened after." She smirked, knowing that she technically wasn't wrong, and Olivia seemed to realize that as well. "I told you there was always a flush of your face and a twinkle in your eyes."

"There is none whatsoever," she argued. It wasn't the truth, but it was what she was sticking with in that moment. She moved so that her head rested on Pansy's chest, throwing her arm around the girl's torso. "Do you not want to go to dinner?"

"Not if you're not going," she replied, her voice now serious and sincere again. "Blaise will bring me something back. I told him to bring you something as well." She placed her hand on the side of Olivia's head, using her nails to brush back the hair at the girl's temple, gently scratching her scalp in the process, knowing that it calmed her. She thought about adding that Theodore was on bring-Draco-food duty along with Lucas, though she wasn't sure if that was the best idea, so she decided against it.

Olivia closed her eyes. "Thank you."

Pansy hummed in response, and then the two of them fell silent again as she continued to brush Olivia's hair. "Olivia," she said softly after a moment, and Olivia hummed, not even opening her eyes to peer up at her. "Know that your feelings will never be a burden to me or anyone else. I am always here and ready to listen, no matter what."

The words meant so much to Olivia.

No matter what rang most loudly in her mind.

Because, as nice as it was to lay on her best friend's chest and have her comfort her and listen to all of her problems, one thing had been realized by Olivia right then, and that was all she was thinking about. If she wanted to keep her distance from Draco and him keep his distance from her, neither would ever get it down being around each other all the time, meaning...

Olivia needed distance from the others as well, including Pansy.

For better or for worse.

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

━━━━ ella's speaking !
and so continues the interesting decisions olivia makes...

also, if she made the potion wrong, ignore that, i was going based on the instructions in the potions-making book in the movie and i was about to lose my mind trying to get it right 💀

< pansy & olivia 3

tysm for 46K, i can't believe how much this fic is growing! my goal is to finish it before the end of the year so updates might be quite frequent from now on!

make sure to comment and vote 🫶🏻

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━ born to die,
© -LOSTGARDENS, nov 2024

word count: 7477.   written: 8.10-11.24.   published: 11.24.24.