BORN TO DIE ╱ DRACO MALFOY
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
018 ━━━━━━ ❛ we want a girl's day ❜

Final exams had come and gone, and they had come and gone particularly well for Olivia. She was finally able to relax and enjoy the less than a week she had left at Hogwarts. She sat in her bed, reading from the book Daphne had gotten her for her birthday—she'd only been able to read a handful of pages since receiving it months ago, so she was glad she had finally found the time.

She was alone in the room. Pansy and Daphne were off doing something. She wasn't sure what they were doing, seeing as though they told her while she was in the shower, and the pouring of water didn't make it easier for her to hear their words.

It didn't matter, though. Because without them in the room, she had the quietest setting, which wasn't far from how it usually was, and she could read without being disturbed. As soon as she got comfortable, snuggling her back against her pillows as her duvet covered her legs with warmth, the door of her room swung open.

Pansy and Daphne were giggling, giving her the curiousest look, and she sighed.

So much for peace.

Daphne closed the door behind them as Pansy walked over to sit on Olivia's bed and then joined them. They looked at each other and then at their friends with gleaming and somewhat scheming eyes. Olivia narrowed her gaze in suspicion, closing her book.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, sitting up so that her spine was straight.

Pansy smiled a smile that informed Olivia she was in for something really fun. "We're going to have a girl's day," she stated. "You, Daphne, and I."

"We are, are we?" Olivia raised her brows as a small laugh fell from her lips. "And what exactly does a girl's day entail, may I ask?"

"We're going to relax, maybe paint each other's nails, do each other's hair, have fun with some makeup, and just, you know, spend time together," Daphne explained with a bright smile on her face that matched Pansy's.

"Oh, yes! I got some fancy face masks and makeup while I was in France, and I've been dying to use them. Blaise's mum recommended the face masks to me, and her skin is flawless, so I trust her," Pansy mused.

"I don't think that's really my thing," Olivia muttered, trying not to let her disdain show. "I would rather stick to reading."

"Oh, nonsense," Pansy huffed, waving a dismissive hand. "You're doing it. You can read it another time. We haven't spent time together in ages," she continued, grabbing Olivia's hands and pulling her up from the bed. "Come along now." She guided the girl, who was sending one last see-you-soon look over to her book, knowing she'd have to pick up reading The Willow Tree later, over to her own bed.

Daphne followed closely behind as Pansy sat Olivia down and then went over to her desk and began searching through one of her many bags that was sitting on top of it.

The blonde sat next to her roommate, giving her a small smile. "I'm sure we'll have loads of fun."

"Ah-ha! I found them!" Pansy cheered, turning around to showcase her hands full of all types of different things. "Let's get started." A smirk took over the girl's face, letting Olivia know that there was no backing out now.

Though she never actually backed in, did she?

And so they began their girl's day. First, they tried the facial masks, and it turned out that they were actually pretty nice. Pansy gleamed that it was another reason to love Blaise's mother, even if he didn't; she knew loads of beauty secrets. It was off topic, but Pansy brought up how she also believed the woman was working towards bagging another husband—stepdad number three for Blaise.

Once they discarded the facial masks, Pansy wanted to do the girls' makeup, and she wanted to start with Olivia. Olivia tried to refuse, but Daphne persuaded her. With a roll of her eyes, she scooted closer to both girls as they began working their magic.

Olivia didn't know what the point of all of it was. Why do this much work just to take it off? It made no sense, but she stayed quiet as Pansy did upward strokes of blush on her cheeks and then backed off so Daphne could coat her already-long lashes with mascara. A few more steps took place on Olivia's face as she sat there with a flat expression, and then the girls moved onto their own faces, doing their makeup to match Olivia's.

They wouldn't let her get up to look in the mirror because they 'wanted it to be a surprise', which made her highly suspicious. She didn't know if they had done some kind of clown look on her, and she was sure they weren't stupid enough to try.

No—she knew they weren't stupid enough.

Once the two girls had finished their looks, Pansy curled Olivia's hair while Daphne painted her nails. Luckily, they let Olivia pick out the color. The Parkinson girl had suggested the bright pink, which gave her an are you serious? look in return, and the blonde suggested a light blue. Blocking out their suggestions, Olivia opted for black.

Pansy called it boring but didn't fight Daphne when she began painting the girl's nails.

Olivia wondered why they were focusing on her first. They had given her the first facial mask, they had done her makeup first, they had done her hair first—which wasn't that surprising because her hair was lacking in all 'stylish' departments while the other two looked as if they had their hair professionally manicured that morning—and they painted her nails first.

Maybe they felt bad for her.

"Okay, we're done!" Pansy cheered, looking at Olivia as if she were a piece of artwork she had just completed after hours of work. "I think you're going to like it," she added, clapping her hands together and resting them under her chin.

"Yes, you look so beautiful, Olivia!" Daphne chimed. "Well, you always do." She sent her a small smile.

"Can I see it now?" Olivia raised her brows, looking between each girl.

Pansy and Daphne sent each other knowing looks with bright smiles, and then they met her gaze, giving her short nods.

Olivia stood up from the bed, being careful not to knock off any of Pansy's things, and made her way to the bathroom. She flicked on the bright light as Pansy and Daphne joined her. Her eyes met her own in the mirror, and she went quiet.

She actually didn't mind the look, which was a shock to her.

Her hair was neatly twisted in loose curls, and her makeup was subtle. She had on a bit of smudged eyeliner, blush, and mascara, which enhanced her soft features. The dark eyeliner brought out the lightness of her eyes and made them look ethereal. The blush made her usually extremely pale skin look full of life, and she couldn't decide if she liked that or not. And the mascara made her lashes even darker and longer, and Olivia could tell that when Pansy used the eyelash curler, it actually did something.

And were her lips a little rosier? She hadn't remembered either girl adding anything to her lips.

It was certainly pretty, but it's not something she'd do again until she was a bit older. Maybe fifteen? Sixteen?

"I look like a doll," she muttered, giving the two smiling girls a glance through the mirror.

"A very, very pretty doll!" Pansy beamed, setting her hands on Olivia's shoulder. "Now, come on, let's go show the boys."

"Why?" Olivia asked, confusion lacing her tone as her face scrunched.

"Because I want them to see." The short-haired girl smiled, grabbing Olivia's wrist. She guided them out of the bathroom and through their room, and then they opened the door, walking out and heading towards the common room.

The boys are where they thought they'd be, sitting on the couches. The three girls walk—well, Pansy and Daphne are practically pushing Olivia—over to them, listening to the nonsense they are bickering about.

Olivia didn't pay any mind to the boys' words; she didn't even want to be down there. And after a moment of just standing and staring at the boys silently, Pansy cleared her throat, catching their attention.

Their eyes snapped to the three girls, seeing Pansy's cheesy grin, Daphne's soft smile, and Olivia's kill-me-now look. The boys jaws slightly dropped open, taking in their appearances, and Olivia rolled her eyes.

Theodore opened his mouth, but no words came out as Pansy raised her hand. "We had a girl's day," she explained before he could even ask.

Olivia met Malfoy's burning gaze, hating the look he was giving her. It was full of adoration and something else she didn't care to untwine. Letting out a sigh, she crossed her arms over her chest, looking away from him.

"Do mind, Olivia. She is acting like she didn't enjoy it, but I know she did," Pansy added, smiling and slinging her arm over the girl's shoulder. She hugged Olivia into her side, still looking at the three boys, who were staring at them with slack jaws.

Clearing his throat, Theodore shrugged, throwing his hand up in suggestion. "We, uh, we want a girl's day," he told them matter-of-factly. "Not all the makeup and such, but whatever else you did," he added, glancing between the two other boys.

Pansy's face brightened as she looked at them with joy. "Really?" she exclaimed happily.

Theodore nodded, standing up from his seat. "Seems fun, and if I have to listen to another word from these two," he glanced over his shoulder at the two boys, "then I'll pitch myself off the astronomy tower." He lightly chuckled, stepping closer to the girls.

"Alright, then, get a move on," Pansy rushed, removing her arm from Olivia's shoulder and gesturing for the boys to go upstairs. "I don't have all day."

Theodore came up beside Olivia, who still had a sour look on her face, as Malfoy and Blaise stood, brushing past him. He put his arm on her shoulder in replacement of Pansy's, causing Olivia to meet his gaze. He had a small smirk on his face as he looked at her. "You look good."

"I look like a doll," she replied, her expression flat, as they began walking.

"A pretty doll," he smiled, pulling away from her.

She rolled her eyes as they began climbing the stairs. They continued down the corridor and to the girls' room. Once they entered, the boys looked around, studying everything. And that was when Olivia realized that it was their first time in there besides the night they snuck in to hex Pansy—and they probably didn't see much then because of how dark it got at night.

Before they could get too invested in the room, Pansy dragged them over to her bed, making them sit down as Olivia went to her own bed, picking up her book. Daphne followed Pansy and sat down next to her with the boys.

Flipping open her book to the page she was on, Olivia began reading The Willow Tree by William Makepeace Thackery, his beautiful words making her heart swoon. She adored poetry, and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.

Know ye the willow-tree
Whose gray leaves quiver,
Whispering gloomily
To yon pale river;
Lady, at even-tide
Wander not near it,
They say its branches hide
A sad, lost spirit?

Once to the willow-tree
A maid came fearful,
Pale seemed her cheek to be,
Her blue eye tearful;
Soon as she saw the tree,
Her step moved fleeter,
No one was there—ah me!
No one to meet her!

Quick beat her heart to hear
The far bell's chime
Toll from the chapel-tower
The trysting time:
But the red sun went down
In golden flame,
And though she looked round,
Yet no one came!

Presently came the night,
Sadly to greet her,—
Moon in her silver light,
Stars in their glitter;
Then sank the moon away
Under the billow,
Still wept the maid alone—
There by the willow!

Through the long darkness,
By the stream rolling,
Hour after hour went on
Tolling and tolling.
Long was the darkness,
Lonely and stilly;
Shrill came the night-wind,
Piercing and chilly.

Shrill blew the morning breeze,
Biting and cold,
Bleak peers the gray dawn
Over the wold.
Bleak over moor and stream
Looks the grey dawn,
Gray, with dishevelled hair,
Still stands the willow there—
THE MAID IS GONE!

Domine, Domine!
Sing we a litany,—
Sing for poor maiden-hearts broken and weary;
Domine, Domine!
Sing we a litany,
Wail we and weep we a wild Miserere!

She ignored the laughter and chatter of her friends and Malfoy but occasionally glanced up to see what they were doing. Pansy had given each boy a facial mask, which they seemed confused by, and she stifled a laugh at their expression.

Then, once those were off and the boys skin felt refreshed, they moved onto nail polish. The boys seemed happy to let the girls paint there nails—Pansy doing Theodore and Blaise's and Daphne doing Malfoy's—and that reminded Olivia of the time she had painted Lucas, Bobbin, and Trinky's nails.

A small smile appeared on her face at the thought.

The faint blush on Daphne's cheeks hadn't gone unnoticed by Olivia, and she shook her head, sticking her nose back in her book. She had no idea what Daphne saw in Malfoy. It was Malfoy, for Merlin's sake.

Each boy chose black nail polish to match the 'mysterious' vibe they were trying to go for. Olivia almost laughed when she heard those words, but she didn't. She read her book, moving away from The Willow Tree and onto A Tragic Story.

There lived a sage in days of yore,
And he a handsome pigtail wore;
But wondered much and sorrowed more,
Because it hung behind him.

He mused upon this curious case,
And swore he'd change the pigtail's place,
And have it hanging at his face,
Not dangling there behind him.

Says he, "The mystery I've found -
Says he, "The mystery I've found!
I'll turn me round," - he turned him round;
But still it hung behind him.

Then round and round, and out and in,
All day the puzzled sage did spin;
In vain - it mattered not a pin -
The pigtail hung behind him.

And right and left and round about,
And up and down and in and out
He turned; but still the pigtail stout
Hung steadily behind him.

And though his efforts never slack,
And though he twist and twirl, and tack,
Alas! Still faithful to his back,
The pigtail hangs behind him.

The words of the poems hung in her mind like a monkey from a tree. She closed her book, setting it on her bedside table. Getting up, she walked over to Pansy and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm going to take a shower. Is there anything I can use to get this—" she gestured to her face, "—off without much hassle?" she asked as the girl looked up at her.

"Uh, yeah," she mumbled, digging around in her things and grabbing a pack. She took a wipe out of it and handed it to Olivia. "These should do the trick." She softly smiled as the girl took the wipe from her hand.

"Thank you," Olivia replied, walking to the bathroom.

When she shut the door behind her, concealing herself from the rest, she opened the door and then turned to the mirror. Her reflection stared at her with a bored look, and she took in her appearance once more. But before she could stare at herself too long, she began wiping her face, removing all of the product that the girls had applied.

Once she was done and her face felt clean again, she moved towards the shower. Pulling the door open, she leaned in and flicked on the water; the water heated to the perfect temperature instantly. She really adored going to a magical school sometimes.

Taking off her clothes, she stepped under the water, shutting the glass door behind her. She felt the warmth of the water, and her muscles relaxed. The poems echoed in her head. She didn't know why they were sticking with her so much. They were just mere poems; they weren't the first she had read, and they weren't the last.

So what was it with these?

A sad, lost spirit?

—A sad, lost spirit? Was she a sad, lost spirit? She sometimes felt like one, hiding everything she felt from everyone else. All of her stories, thoughts, and prayers lingered in her mind and her mind alone. Was she going to be lost in thought forever? Or would she be found? Would she be brought back to life? Her mind replenished with more knowledge than it already held in its cold hands?

Says he, "The mystery I've found!
I'll turn me round," - he turned him round;
But still it hung behind him.

—The Mytstery? She was a mystery to most. They liked to assume, but knew nothing. She was a mystery, indeed. Something that was trying to hide its true self—its true feelings and thoughts. Was she a mystery someone was going to find? That he, someone she didn't know, was going to find her? Uncover her mystery? Or, rather, the mystery of her?

When she stepped out of the shower, wrapping her body in a towel, and walked back into the room, she saw that it was empty. Pansy's bed was clear of all of the belongings that had sat on it when she left, and the room was quiet and still, besides Tommy crawling out from underneath her bed.

The electric-eyed cat jumped up on her bed as she made her way over to her wardrobe. He curled up next to Mr. Snake, letting the feeling of comfort settle over him.

She sometimes wished she could be more like Tommy—living life in peace, only sleeping and eating all day without a care in the world, getting attention whenever he wanted, having to deal with others, being able to hide when he wanted, whether it was underneath the bed or on a high shelf in the common room.

What a sad thought that was—wanting to be more like a mere cat. Not wanting to have to deal with the functions of a witch's life—a person's life.

Olivia sometimes believed that life would be easier if she weren't living it.

And that thought scared her.

Her! It scared her, of all people.

After getting dressed, she sat on her bed, lying next to her cat and stuffed animal. She let her mind go blank, closing her eyes and not thinking. Not letting worries, thoughts, prayers, or the fear of the nightmares she had control her. She breathed in and out, letting everything slip away.

A mere twelve-year-old girl under this much stress finally letting it go was something for the books. She had the weight of the world on her shoulders for no reason, but in a peaceful moment, she forgot the world and focused on nothing.

If only she could've done that forever.

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

━━━━ ella's speaking !
first things first, the poetry featured in this is not my writing (need to make that clear!)—they're both poems by william makepeace thackeray as stated in the chapter !

i hope you enjoyed !!

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━ born to die,
© -LOSTGARDENS,          sep 2023

word count: 3326. written: 9.14.23. published: 9.17.23.