BORN TO DIE ╱ DRACO MALFOY
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
009 ━━━━━ ❛ she's worse than snape ❜

"No, you do it," Pansy whisper-yelled, nudging Theodore forward.

"No, she's your roommate. You do it," he retorted, narrowing his eyes at her.

Daphne, Malfoy, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle stood behind them, none of them speaking up. They didn't want to be the ones to approach Olivia, who sat alone at a table in the library. Books were sprawled out all over the wood surface as she studied. Her bag rested to the left of her elbow on the table, and pieces of parchment, her inkwell, and her quill lay to her right.

She seemed rather focused, which made the group even more nervous to approach her. Over the last several days, they had been secretive and distant, and they knew Olivia sensed it. It wasn't because of anything bad, and they cursed themselves for their nerve-wracking behavior.

Their gaze remained on the girl in front of them. Whispers were heard from all around the room—students chatting with their friends about the latest gossip or about their assignments—but all around Olivia was dead silence.

No one sat near her—not at the table with her or at the tables next to her.

A beat of silence passed over the group, and then Pansy felt a nudge on her arm. She turned to face the ones standing behind her only to see Daphne give her a go-talk-to-her look as she nodded her head in the direction of the Mallard girl.

With a quiet groan, Pansy ran her hand over her skirt, straightening it out a bit, and then made her way over to her roommate. When she stopped at the table, a nerve-filled quietness passed as she stared at the top of the girl's head. More silence, and then she cleared her throat.

Olivia didn't look up, but she could sense the girl's presence.

"Uhm, Olivia," Pansy began, her tone weak. She cleared her throat again, trying to make her words stronger. "Uh, I—we—were wondering if you'd do us a favor?" she asked, glancing back at the group behind her.

Still, Olivia did not look up. She continued reading her book.

"We, uhm, we're all—well, we were wondering if..." Pansy struggled with the words, almost as if she were afraid to ask them.

"Just spit it out already, Pansy," Olivia said, her eyes remaining on her book.

"Oh, okay," Pansy mumbled. "Uh, we are all quite struggling in History of Magic, and we were wondering if you'd help us—you know, study or whatever," she admitted.

Oliva's eyes found Pansy's in an instant as they slightly narrowed. Her face remained blank as she thought. Then her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You are all," she glanced at the group standing behind the girl in front of her, "from rich, pure-blood historical families in the wizarding world, and you're struggling in History of Magic?" Her eye found Pansy.

The Parkinson girl could tell she didn't believe her—it was written all over her face. "Well, yes, Olivia, some of us are into all the dates, names, and events that you know so much about," she sighed, glancing behind her and then back at the girl.

Letting out a sigh, Olivia looked back down at her book. "What do I get out of it?" she asked.

"You want something out of it?" Pansy furrowed her brows.

"Well, yes, Pansy, because if you can't tell, I have my own studying I have to do," she retorted, meeting the girl's eyes once more and gesturing to the parchment and books covering the table. "Why would I use the free time I have to study to help you all study when you can do it yourselves?"

"I—" Pansy began but didn't have an answer, so she quieted her voice. Her mouth closed as she pondered a response. "You could do it to help out your friends," she offered after a moment of silence.

Her eyes were pleading, looking down at the girl. They really needed help, and Olivia was the smartest person they knew. Sure, there were other very capable witches and wizards that could've helped them, but seeing the Slytherins ask Granger or some other non-Slytherin for help was something out of the Twilight Zone.

Thinking for a moment, Olivia searched the girl's eyes. Then, with a sigh, she shut her book and stacked it on top of the others. "Fine," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Ah, thank you!" Pansy cheered, receiving some hushes from students around them.

Olivia only hummed in response as Pansy waved the others over.

The group cautiously walked to the table to join the two girls. Olivia wondered why they were so sheepish with their movements. Did they think she was going to hex them or something? She hummed at the thought, watching the Slytherins sit down at the table alongside her.

She stood from her seat and began to gather her things. From the looks on each of their faces, she knew they thought she was going to leave them there. Get their hopes up, and then leave. She wasn't like that, though, most of the time.

She stacked all of her things together, shoveling some of the books into her bag—they were from her own collection—along with the parchment, quill, and inkwell. She grabbed the rest of the books, the ones that belonged in Hogwarts' library, and held them close to her chest.

"I'll be right back," she informed, and then walked away without another word.

Making her way in between each shelf, she returned the few books she carried back to their proper spots and then began searching for a few books she'd need to teach the group. And once she had them in her possession, she walked back to the table.

She studied the group, seeing how each one seemed.

Pansy seemed bored but eager to learn as she sat slightly slouched in her seat.

Theodore and Blaise looked like they'd rather be anywhere else in the world, slouched completely in their seats like they were hanging around in the common room—it was a Saturday, after all, and they were going to be learning.

Daphne was sitting up straight, her face blank but fully paying attention to her surroundings.

Crabbe and Goyle looked as if they were just happy to be there.

And finally, Malfoy. Malfoy was slouched in his seat like Theodore and Blaise, but his eyes were on Olivia as she came to a stop in front of the table, and he looked at her with all the admiration in the world.

She held back the disgust that threatened her face as she met his eyes. They didn't linger too long, and she looked away and at the others, throwing the books down on the table, causing them to jump and face her.

Her face was cold, and as each one looked at her, a chill ran down their spines. She searched each of their faces with her cold eyes, seeing each one of them shift in their seats. She reveled in this, but she hadn't let her amusement show on her face.

"Now that I've gotten your attention, I want to say a few things," she began, still standing. "This is your one and only chance to back out of this—I'm not going to be a nice teacher; you might hate me after this. And even though you all, to me, are what some might consider friends, except Malfoy, I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you you'll do better next time."

None of them spoke; their eyes still remained on her, a bit of fear now clouding them. They slowly nodded in understanding, and Pansy said, "No, we want you to teach us; otherwise, we're going to hear from our parents."

"Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you," she stated, her tone flat. A beat of silence passed as she flipped open the books. "So, which part of the class is your main point of struggle?" she asked, not looking at any of them.

"All of it," they all said.

She lifted her gaze and looked at them through her thick eyelashes. Letting out a sigh, she flipped to the front of one of the books. "It looks like we have a long day ahead of us," she muttered under her breath.

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

A smack on the back of Theodore's head with a roll of parchment. "Wrong," Olivia said.

"Ow!" He rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, next time, Theodore, don't get the answer wrong," Olivia retorted, walking away from him and around the table. "Now, anyone want to try and answer, or are you going to waste my time with another wrong one?" she asked, raising her brows slightly as she looked at each of them.

No one spoke, and she sighed. "I can't teach you if you don't try," she explained. "You have to actually read the material," she added.

This was how it had been going for the past hour and a half. Olivia would give them material to study, and then she would ask them a question related to that material. Most of the time, the group got the question wrong, and she assumed it was because they weren't paying close attention to what they read.

"We're trying, Olivia; I swear it," Daphne sighed, looking particularly stressed.

"Fine. Perhaps I should take a different approach then," she said, stopping at the end of the table. Her eyes roamed all of their faces, and she could tell they agreed with her idea. "How about I give you a bargain? When you get the answer right, I'll give you a reward. When you get it wrong, I'll give you another assignment."

"You know what, Olivia? I think we can actually manage on our own," Pansy told her, standing up from her seat. The others followed hastily. "Thank you for the help today," she mustered a smile, and then walked away.

The others didn't even send Olivia another look and followed quickly behind Pansy. Olivia watched as they left the library, and then she sighed.

She walked over to the table, ready to gather the books so that she could put them back. They asked for her help, and then when she gave them an out, they refused it, but all of a sudden they can 'manage on their own'? It didn't make any bloody sense.

Rolling her eyes, she began cleaning up the table. But when she reached the place where Daphne had been sitting, she saw the girl's wand on the table, hiding beneath a piece of parchment. Sighing, she picked it up and then walked to the library doors.

She hoped she could catch the girl before she was too far away. A witch's wand was their most prized possession, after all. And if she couldn't, she'd simply give it to her when she saw her later that night.

Pushing through the doors, she turned her head, looking down the corridor. And there, just about ten feet from the library doors, stood the group of Slytherins. They seemed to be in deep conversation as they hung around.

As Olivia approached them, she heard Theodore say, "Honestly, she's worse than Snape, and I never thought that to be bloody possible." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Olivia stopped in her tracks, right behind him. She could tell the others noticed her because their eyes went slightly wide as she glared at the back of Theodore's head. He was clueless, though. Until she cleared her throat.

He quickly turned to face her, his eyes wide and his face full of regret and fear. She took a step closer, lifting Daphne's wand. She looked at the blonde girl and said, "Daphne, you left this at the table. A careless mistake, might I add?"

Daphne slowly took her wand from the girl's hand and mustered a soft smile. "Thank you," she muttered.

Olivia hummed, giving her a short nod. Then her attention fell on Theodore. She narrowed her eyes once more, and she could see him swallow. "I am worse than Snape, and I happen to take that as a compliment," she stated, and then turned away without another word.

Theodore's mouth opened a couple of times, trying to muster a response as he watched her walk away, but ultimately he couldn't come up with anything.

Olivia reached the library doors once more and sent one last glance to the group before pulling them open and walking in.

She wasn't upset that they were talking about her behind her back, but she was frustrated with them. They had wasted her time by asking her to teach them and then not actually putting forth the effort to learn. She had wanted to spend her free time working on her newest assignments, but that hadn't happened.

No matter how much they wanted to deny it, she knew they weren't doing as much as they could've been, and that was her biggest irritation.

Taking a deep breath, she walked back to the table. She gathered the books that belonged to Hogwarts and began putting them away in their rightful places. Then she gathered her things, shoved them into her enchanted bag, and left the library once more.

The group was now gone.

She headed down the corridor and towards the astronomy tower. Climbing the stairs, the hot sun shone on her face, seeing as though it was still midday. She didn't care; all she needed was a quiet place where no one would disturb her.

Taking a seat on the floor next to the railing, she leaned back against the wall and pulled out her books, along with her parchment, notebook, inkwell, and quill. But before she closed her bag, a familiar book caught her eye.

Pulling it out, the title 'Firestarter' came into view. She had forgotten all about the book that she had been reading on the train, completely sidetracked from it due to school. The piece of parchment—the letter—was still stuck in the book like a bookmark.

She flipped to the page and pulled it out. Setting the book aside, she studied it in her hand. The front was blank, which was odd seeing as though that was where the name usually went when sending a letter, but the back side was sealed with wax, which wasn't unusual.

But the crest with which the wax was pressed wasn't that of one she recognized. She ran her finger along it, feeling each groove. Then she peeled the parchment open. The parchment seemed old as she unfolded it.

Once it was as flattened as she could get it, the beautiful handwriting came into view. It was indeed a letter. She didn't know who it belonged to, and frankly, she didn't care. It seemed to have been under that seat on the train for some time, so whoever it belonged to or was intended for was either long dead or didn't miss it.

To my dearest love,

          I know I've scorned you a great deal. That was never my intention. I had no other choice. I had to do it. Or else he'd kill me. And perhaps you as well.

          Oh, how I do hope you get this, my love. I need you. I miss you. I love you. Yes, I love you, not him. I could never love him. He's a monster. You're the one I want.

          My dearest, I do hope you can see my side. Understand me, I beg of you. Please, I need you. I need your help, and I need you by my side if I do plan on making it out alive.

          Those dreams that we had all those years—I still want them. And I pray to Merlin that you do too.

          Reach out to me, my love. Find me. Protect me. Love me. And I will do the same with you.

Sincerely, yours forever

Taking a deep breath, Olivia furrowed her brows. I had to do it. Or else he'd kill me. And perhaps you as well. There were no names or distinctive identifiers, and she wondered why. Why was this writer so fearful for their lives? Who were they so afraid of? Who was going to kill them?

These thoughts rattled her mind. She sighed, folding up the letter. She placed it back between the pages of her book and put it back into the depths of her bag. She didn't know why, but she had a feeling that she needed to keep the letter safe and that somehow it was important.

And even if it wasn't, she wanted to look into it further. Identify the crest marking the wax seal.

Letting out another breath, she picked up her books, trying to focus her mind on her studies once more.

But the intruding thought of the letter and its words overtook her mind, and she found herself wandering into the possibilities for the entirety of her stay in the astronomy tower.

I could never love him. He's a monster. He's a monster.

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

Pushing through the doors of the Great Hall, Olivia's eyes caught the sight of happy and cheerful students. It disgusted her. She ignored the happiness and began to make her way over to the Slytherin table, where her group sat.

They were chatting as they ate their dinner when she stopped, standing behind Theodore, Daphne, and Pansy and facing Malfoy, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

As they began to feel her presence and Malfoy and Blaise's gaze landed on her, they quieted their talking and faced her. She searched each of their faces, clutching the strap of her bag with one hand, and the opposite arm was crossed over her torso, resting under the elbow of the other.

She was quiet for a moment as they all stared at her, and then she let out a sigh. "I suppose I was a bit harsh earlier, and I could've acted as a better teacher," she began. And as Pansy went to say something, she held up her hand to stop her. "But you all could've also tried harder to actually learn," she continued. "That's all I'm going to say."

And with that, she walked away, went to an empty section of the table, and sat down. There was a boy across from her, sitting slightly to her right, but he didn't look up or say anything.

She could feel the burning gazes of her group on her skin as she set her bag next to her. She ignored them and began plating her food.

She looked up at the boy across from her and studied him for a moment. She didn't know why he caught her attention, but she didn't mind, needing a distraction from her racing thoughts. He had dark hair and olive skin. She couldn't see his face or his eyes, seeing as though he was looking down at a book that rested on the table.

She drew her gaze away from him and focused on her food.

She hadn't realized that his eyes had lifted and that he too had studied her. She didn't feel his eyes roaming around her like she did with everyone else. There was no chill down her spine, no burning on her skin (besides from her group), and no pit in her stomach.

Once dinner was over, she made her way back to the common room with her house but didn't stay long enough to be pulled into any socializing. She wasn't particularly in the mood to fake smiles and talk.

She went to her room, took a shower, got ready for bed, and then laid down with Mr. Snake wrapped in her arms. Sleep fell upon her quickly, and she was grateful for it.

He's a monster, was the last thought in her mind as her lids fell shut and she drifted off to sleep. Mr. Snake was clenched tighter in her arms as the nightmare began, just like every other night.

The same nightmare, but this time it was different. And when Olivia awoke with a gasp, covered in sweat, her body tense, she felt an impending doom fall onto her shoulders.

What did it mean?

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

━━━━ ella's speaking !
so i struggled writing this for some reason (probably bc i'm excited to publish chapter ten and didn't want to have to wait and write this), but i powered through !

i like how this chapter turned out, and i'm excited for next chapter to be published 🤭🤭

i hope you enjoyed it !!

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━ born to die,
© -LOSTGARDENS, august 2023

word count: 3469.   written: 8.26.23.   published: 8.26.23.