Chapter 19

Han Jisung

The kiss was broken when someone shouted from afar. I looked to where the shout was from and I saw Felix.

"Stop kissing! Can't you see how you're hurting Changbin?! Or you're just really dumb?! Fucking cheaters!" I looked over to Minho and saw him slowly breaking to tears again.

I gulped as I closed my eyes. It's my fault again...

I felt pain and anger slowly rising in my chest, making me gulp again. My throat felt drier than usual. I opened my eyes and my sight seemed to come to be dim.

Minho looked up to me and our eyes met. His brown eyes look so sad. It's my damn fault...

"Y-you're eyes!" He exclaimed loudly before backing a step away.

He looked away and covered his mouth as he gasped loudly. I looked away too and sighed. I shook my head, disappearing in front of Minho and Felix.

I run to a spot inside the HLC ground that anyone rarely goes. I gulped before sliding down to the concrete floor.

"I destroyed a couple and I destroyed my relationship with my brother... What is happening to me...?" I sighed as my tears fell to the ground.

It's been such a long time since I've last shed tears...

"I'm so sorry, Felix... I'm so sorry..." I muttered under my breath.

"But I need Minho to fall in love with me instead..."
_____

It's been a whole day of staying in the HLC ground and we're going back to the palace now.

We managed to take Changbin with us by using force. We didn't want him to stay there even if he strongly insists that he wants to stay there.

Minho seemed to be very distant to me and he kept trying to talk to Changbin but the shorter boy is not accepting his explanations at any point.

He didn't even want to look at him and I saw how painful it is for Minho.

He turned to look away, gulping. Our eyes met when he turned. I sighed as I saw how his eyes burned with anger that I rarely see.

I put my hands on my pockets and pulled my hoodie on my head.

"Felix... Chan... Take care of them... I'm going ahead..." I mumbled before disappearing in front of them.

I smiled bitterly at myself as I remembered what it felt like to not be welcomed and accepted.

And I felt it again today...

The feeling of being stared by those eyes that's held with disgust and anger.

I felt it again today...

The feeling of hatred, going through my heart and building up there.

I felt that every day...

"Fuck this feeling! I don't want to be associated with them! It hurts me! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I screamed as I hit my head many times, wanting to just die. But I know I can't.

I dropped on the ground, crying so hard than I ever did.

"What did I ever did to experience this... I just wanted to have a normal life... With my brother... Yet I hurt them... Stupid..." I sobbed as I pulled my knees closer to my chest, unable to cut out the flowing tears.

"Stop wailing like a child, Jisung... You need to stand up and protect them... No matter how hard it is for you... That's... Your job..." I sighed as I looked up.

"Mother... Will you guide your son so I could protect them?" I mumbled up to the sky as tears fell from my eyes.

"I'm sorry for being so vulnerable and weak. I just... Couldn't help it. Having no one take my side. Having no one fight for me. Just having no one..." I continued speaking to the sky as I sighed, trying to stop my tears.

"I'm sorry for being such a weak son... I'm sorry for not protecting you like what I promised... I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, my child. Go on. Protect your brother and do what you promised me and Felix. Be brave. I love you."

That voice... It's... It's mother...

"Mother! I'll go now! I'll protect Felix no matter what happens! Please... Be happy up there..." I smiled as my tears fell again. I sighed as I wiped my face, pulling my hood up again.

I run fast, appearing in front of the group again.

"Uh? Jisung... You came back... Why?" Chan asked me, unsure of what to say or do.

"I got no choice... Mother's request..." I looked up at the sky as I mumbled, plastering a small smile as my back faced everyone.

"B-but I thought..."

"Mother told me that I should pursue my promise... So I'm here to do that..." I sighed as I looked back, my eyes finding Felix's eyes as I stared into him.

"I'm gonna protect you, no matter what happens," I mumbled as I plastered a forced small smile on my face.

"Even if it costs me my life. Because you're my brother. And siblings shouldn't leave each other, no matter how they hurt themselves." I stared right into his eyes.

———

Han Felix

"I'm gonna protect you, no matter what happens."

"Even if it costs me my life. Because you're my brother. And siblings shouldn't leave each other, no matter how they hurt themselves."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. He thought he could fool me with those words? No.

"Stop with the drama. You won't make me fall for it." I tried to act tough. Jisung's eyes were filled with sadness. Jisung...

"Hmm... So you'll let a week of being with a human destroy the years you've been with your brother. Okay, I understand." He said with a quiet voice.

That hit me right in the chest. I shook my head slightly as I harden my glare at him.

"You did it first. I'm just returning the damage that you gave first."

———

Han Jisung

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to myself as I looked ahead, leading them back to the mansion. 

Youngjae, Jimin, Hyunjin, and Seungmin are waiting for us there. They went straight back to the mansion when we took the way to HLC.

I sighed, putting my hands on my pants' pockets. I flicked my fingers, opening the gate for us to enter.

"Oh, Jisung! Welcome back! Did everything went okay?" Jimin welcomed me. She was about to hug me when I moved back.

"Everything went okay," I mumbled quietly, hanging my head low to hide the fact that tears are threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Is everything okay with you?" Youngjae asked me, his voice laced with confusion. Probably because of how I act. I just nodded, making my tears fall.

"Shit," I muttered before I disappeared into thin air in front of them, going to my room.

———

Lee Minho 

"Did I just saw Jisung crying?!" Youngjae exclaimed as he looked immediately to Felix who is dumbfounded by his words.

"J-Jisung... Is crying?" I muttered, shocked by it. His strong impression and demeanor fooled us, making us think that all he felt were anger alone.

I gulped, looking away. The argument of Felix and Jisung replaying in my mind.

This is my fault. If I didn't enter his life, this wouldn't happen.

I looked down on my feet, feeling so guilty of what happened.

"Even though my brother is rude and ignorant, it doesn't mean that he doesn't feel pain at all," Jimin said with a stern voice. 

"I'm sorry..." I heard Felix's voice behind me.

I'm sorry too, Jisung.