Chapter 23

Han Jisung

It's been two months since the attack. It's too quiet and peaceful. It's so quiet that an unfamiliar feeling is rising in my chest. Fear.

It's not like I'm afraid of facing Luther and his useless minions considering that I managed to kill all of them in that attack. 

I'm afraid that he'll use someone from us to make me weak.

I know he's watching our every move. I'm not afraid of him. But I'm afraid for the safety of the people I brought into this mess.

"Jisung. Are you sure we're safe here?" I heard Minho's voice on the bed beside mine. Felix and Youngjae convinced us to stay in one room, beside each other for both of our safety.

"There are no safe places for us, Minho." I sighed, looking up in the ceiling.

"Wherever we go, they'll follow us. They'll hunt for us. They don't know what mercy is. If you break a rule or do something they don't approve, you'll be killed. No exception." 

"Does that mean we're not safe even here?" I looked at him, seeing his face and eyes be filled with fear. I smiled at him and reached for his hand, holding it firmly.

"As long as I'm around you, you're safe. As long as you're around me, I'm fine."

———

"Jisung~! Jisung, wake up~!" A sweet voice filled my ear as I turned around slightly. My eyes caught Minho's sweet smile as I woke up slowly.

"What time is it?" I asked him quietly, calming once I saw his eyes on mine. He brought his arm up only to remember that he doesn't have a watch in it.

His face was dumbfounded and it looks so cute. I chuckled softly before raising my arm which has a watch on it. "Look at it. What time is it now?"

"Hmm... Noon. Almost time for lunch so let's go and go out?" He looked up to me and smiled.

Why are you suddenly so calm and happy beside me... 

"Are you okay?"

"What do you mean? I'm fine. You're the one that got harm because of me." A chuckle left my lips as I slowly sat up.

"I didn't get harm because of you. I got harm because of myself." I looked up to the ceiling, observing the design of it quietly.

"If you didn't save me, you're not gonna be tied with me. Youngjae told me the consequences you'll need to experience because you choose to save me." He mumbled quietly, making me look at him. "It's my fault."

"And if I didn't save you, everyone will blame me for letting you die. For letting you die even though I know you're my responsibility since I dragged you and the others to this mess. I won't let that happen. They want me, I'll give them what they want. But only if they fight fair and square."

I sighed, shaking my head as I looked at him in the eyes. He tilted his head slightly, waiting quietly. 

"But I know that wouldn't be the case. Knowing Luther, he'll never fight fair and square. He always got something dirty beneath his sleeves." I sighed as I run my fingers through my hair.

"That's why you want us to leave, don't you?" I nodded quietly, looking at his eyes.

Homin...

"So... Do you want to eat now or do you want to continue staring at my eyes?" He said, giggling softly as he shook his head softly.

I shook my head as I stood up, walking over to his side and gripping his shirt softly before pulling him up by it.

"Let's go before they all eat without you," I mumbled before I removed my hand from his shirt after he stood up.

"Why only me? Aren't you going to eat too?" I shook my head, looking away.

"There's no need for me there. I'll just accompany you out so you won't get lost." 

"But..."

"But what?" I looked at him curiously when he didn't continue his words, tilting my head slightly.

"I-I want t-to eat with you..." A small chuckle left my lips as I shook my head slowly, reaching for his head and ruffling his hair.

"I can't be there. Changbin and Felix will get mad at me more if they saw me with you. Sharing a room with you is already fine for me." A bitter smile curled up in my lips, shaking my head again.

"Don't worry. I won't be far." I assured him that I'll always be close to him so both of us will be safe.

We walked out quietly, me walking in front of Minho, leading him to the dining hall. I stopped when it was close yet no one can see us.

"Go straight, you'll see the dining hall," I instructed Minho before I walked in the opposite direction from the dining hall, not wanting to see anyone.

Or rather, I don't want anyone to see me.

I still don't know how they view me and I don't want to act like everything is fine between us all when its clearly my fault for making it complicated.

I brought them into his mess, I make them follow us even though I don't know if they wanted to or not, I broke two people for my desires and needs.

I feel like I'm the antagonist in their life story. I do every single wrong decision that ended up hurting everyone.

Sighing, I slowly walked out of the mansion, sitting down on the grass as I looked up at the sky.

The blue sky seems so peaceful with many clouds on it, covering the sun.

"Mother... How are you up there?" I muttered, wanting to talk to my mother even though I know it's impossible.

"I'm sorry if I didn't save you. You know, I'm still the coward kid I was decades ago." A bitter smile appeared on my lips again.

"They're gonna blame me, right? They're gonna blame me for letting you die like that without me even knowing what happened. They're gonna blame me for your death like what happened when Homin died." As if on cue, voices started flooding my mind.

The voices kept saying things that were related to the death of the two people I treasure the most. Cruel things.

"I'm sorry..." Is all I can say, laying down on my back before closing my eyes, drowning myself on the awful and cruel words that are all over my mind.

The same kinds of words that I grew up hearing.

Before I knew it, I fell asleep on the grass after I closed my eyes.

———

Lee Minho

"Hi, Minho!" Jimin greeted me with a smile before she looked behind me, her eyes hoping to find someone behind me. "Where's my brother?"

"H-He doesn't want to g-go here..." I mumbled softly, walking slowly towards Jimin.

"Oh! Alright..." The disappointment was plastered in Jimin's face and voice.

"The others are coming, just wait for a few minutes." She smiled at me before she guided me onto a seat beside him.

How is everyone?

"Everyone's on the edge because of the drama that lingers around us. Felix has been quiet most of the time. Changbin has been quiet too and he seems like he wanted to talk to Jisung because I often see him trying to enter your shared room with Jisung but didn't go inside."

"You read my mind?"

"Can't help it. You seemed really bothered." She shrugged, shooting me a soft smile.

"But, thank you. Jisung is doing well. We talked this morning too and he seems cool about things."

"We don't know the truth. None of us can read Jisung. Not even our own mother. He's complicated." Jimin replied almost immediately.

"I-I think, I-I can..."