BANDAGED HAND ON THE CENTER CONSOLE, Ralph watched the trees zoom past him in silence, as he had been for what felt like the past year. Next to him, Joel was silent too, his hand also on the centre console, intertwined loosely with Ralph's as he drove with narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw.

They hadn't spoken to each other the entire car ride. Nobody had spoken. They just sat in silence, looking out the windows and thinking things over, wondering if there was some way they could take it all back, make up for it. At least Lou was concerned about that.

Speaking of Lou, there was movement in the back seat, and Ralph turned in his chair to see Ellie shuffling around in her makeshift bed with Lou seated next to her and helping her to sit upright.

'You're alright, Ellie.' Ralph assured hastily, offering the little girl a half-smile as she observed the car and the two people in the front of it. 'You're with us.'

At that, she was relieved, confusion fading into eventual acceptance as she laid down again, resting her head onto Lou's knee and sighing, barely audible.

'Take it slow,' Joel advised, watching the two teenagers in the rearview mirror. He looked over at Ralph hesitantly, mouth drawn into an anxious line at even the thought of Ellie knowing what had happened, not wanting to have to traumatize another little girl in only the span of a day. Ralph patted his hand. 'Drugs are still wearing off.'

'We were with the Fireflies, and then...' Ellie looked up at Lou, craning her neck a little bit, only to see that the girl she was piled on top of was barely acknowledging her existence. Lou was resting her head on the window and staring out of it like she had better things to think of. 'What drugs?'

'They were running some tests on you two.' Joel sighed quietly, eyebrows turned upwards as he frowned at the space ahead of him. 'Turns out there's a lot more like you, Ellie. People that are immune. Dozens of them... The doctors, they couldn't make any of it work. They've actually s...'

Something came to Joel's mind. A big enough deal for his teeth to grind together and his words to trail off, grip tightening on the steering wheel. The hand that held Ralph's flexed, as if he was going to pull away but changed his mind at the last possible second, deciding that holding on even tighter would make himself feel better.

'They've stopped looking for a cure.' Ralph finished Joel's sentence with a small, comforting smile directed at the man on his left.

'...Where are my clothes?' Ellie mumbled, still nodding dazedly at the initial information dump. Lou had her clothes back, it made Ellie rather jealous.

'Raiders attacked the hospital,' Ralph said, and Lou's head perked up to look at the seat ahead of her, frowning. She wondered if he had thought of this story beforehand, or if he was making it up on the spot. It felt like a rather stupid thing to be concerned about, after witnessing everything, but Ralph barely ever lied. At least to her. Or maybe that was what she thought. 'We barely got you guys outta there. We can try find you some new ones on the way.'

'Were people hurt?' At that question, Ralph stopped speaking, bringing his unbloodied hand up to scratch his jaw.

'Yes.' Joel replied softly, staring at the road ahead and blinking every so often, only to fight off tears.

'Is Marlene okay?' She asked hopefully, eyes flicking between the two men that sat in front of her, watching the backs of their heads.

'...We're going home now, Ellie.' Ralph said, turning in his seat to look over his shoulder and smile back at her. He knew that he wouldn't be able to convince Ellie that Marlene was okay, and he didn't want to. False hope is a weapon of mass destruction, someone said that to him once. Besides, he didn't think he'd have it in him even if he wanted to lie. He was too proud of what he had done. 'That's all that matters, right?'

She didn't respond to his question. She acknowledged his grin and stared at it for maybe a little bit too long before she broke away, wriggling to free herself from Lou's lap and beginning to shuffle around in the back of the car.

Ralph turned around again, a little upset by his fruitless attempt, and saw that, next to him, Joel was only infinitely more upset.

So, squeezing their intertwined hands, Ralph smiled at him. And Joel could never deny a smile from Ralph.

...

'AH, SHE GOT US CLOSE ENOUGH.' Joel sighed, slamming the hood of their truck shut as smoke fled from it, pouring out in one big gust of wind that made Ralph's eyes water, still slightly irritated with the Firefly's sudden love for Pepper spray.

As they turned the side of the vehicle and found the two girls chatting quietly in the backseat, Joel was sure to put an arm around Ralph's waist and prevent him from bumping into the open car door as he rubbed the heels of his palms against his face.

'We gotta walk the rest of the way.' He announced to the girls, retracting his arm when Lou stared at it. 'Probably a five-hour hike but we can manage that. Remember?'

Joel was poking a reminder at Ellie, one of their first few days as a group when they were in the woods after losing Tess. Ralph and Lou had wandered off without telling either of them where they were headed, so Ellie had made a little game out of who could find one of them first. Ellie ended up winning, but only because Lou saw her coming and waved her arms up in the air to be located easier. Joel was still rather spiteful about that.

'Yeah.' Ellie grinned, the first time she had done that in a while. Nodding her head, she got out of the car, stepping to the side for Lou to follow after her.

'Don't go wandering again.' Joel clapped the back of his hand against Ralph's chest gently, turning around and heading towards the mountain.

'Screw you, it's a free country.' Ralph scoffed, following him with a smile. They started up the mountain and got maybe three minutes of silence before Ellie was veering towards Lou and whispering to her.

'Do you think they're in love?' She squinted, watching the duo walk in front of them, giggling and chatting like there was nowhere they'd rather be. It seemed like a genuine question.

Lou raised her shoulders and dropped them just as quickly, not giving a fuck. Ellie couldn't exactly blame her for her bad mood, especially not after the whole... David thing. But it seemed like there was something bigger behind it now, something else weighing on her mind. Ellie wanted to ask about it, and she had truly meant to, until Joel had sidetracked her by speaking to the group.

'You know, Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time.' He said, turning back to look at the girls as if he was trying to rope them into the conversation. 'I wouldn't say it was her favorite thing. She wasn't a fan of the mosquitoes and such. But she was a big climber, or scampering. That's probably the right word. That girl, she'd see a big rick and just... Shwoop!'

Joel curved his arm up into the air suddenly, illustrating his story, making Ralph laugh and Ellie smile a little bit. Meanwhile, Lou stared at the trees. Joel noticed her absence from his words.

'She would've liked you two.' Joel said confidently, feeling victorious when Lou turned to face him. 'Not to say that you're all the same. Definitely all different kids.'

'How so?' Ellie tilted her head.

'Well, she was a lot more, I wanna say girly than you- And I'm not saying that you're not girly!' Joel followed his sentence with defense instantly, raising his hands by his ribs in fake surrender.

'I'm not.' Ellie replied dully.

'...Yeah, you're not. So that. And, uh... You're a lot more extroverted than her, Lou.' Joel said, and that alone made the two Zhenyas smile to themselves. 'What?'

'Only extrovert in our bloodline is my Umma. Zhenyas hate people, isn't that right, Lou?' Behind Ralph, Lou made a sound of agreement, and Joel couldn't help the laugh that found its way out of him.

'Well, regardless,' Joel began to speak again. 'I think she'd like you two because you're funny. You two would've made her laugh. Always getting up to shit. Don't even wanna imagine the headaches I'd get with the three of you in the same room.'

Ellie giggled, smiling at the scenery around them before clearing her throat and hopping over a rock, catching up to Ralph so she could ask him a question.

'Do you think Ren would like us?'

Ralph looked at her for a moment, eyebrows raised, mouth turned down into an off-guard frown. He hadn't been expecting that. He was surprised Ellie even remembered Ren's name, let alone who she was in relation to him. The first and last time he spoke about her to them was back near the River of Death, plenty of months prior.

He continued to look at her with an expression of shock until Ralph's silence led Ellie to believe she had done something wrong. '...Uhm, I'm sorry if you don't wanna-'

'-No.' He shook his head, snapping out of it and looking at the ground he was stomping along on. He raised a hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear, wincing at the pressure it put on his wound. 'I mean, no, it's fine. I don't mind.'

Ellie gave him a weak little nod, pursing her lips because she still couldn't help but feel like she had thrown him off. She had, but he wouldn't admit it.

'...Obviously, her favorite would be Lou.' It was a given that Ralph and Lou had been through many conversations about Ren, already established this many times over. It showed in his tone. 'She'd like you too, Ellie, 'cause you're open to things. You'd watch all of her weird rom-coms, but you'd need subtitles... You know, I think she'd love you, actually. You're both weirdos.'

Ellie wanted to correct him about the weirdo allegation, but she, for some reason, couldn't stop smiling long enough to get to that. She thought it was sweet of Ralph to imagine such a thing, and she kept on imagining it until Joel spoke.

'Would Ren like me?' Joel asked, acting shy about it.

'Depends.' Ralph furrowed his eyebrows, looking him up and down. 'Would Sarah like me?'

'Yeah.' Joel's reply came surprisingly fast, as if he had spent a while thinking about it, had been prepared for this conversation for a long time. 'She would. She'd like you because you're the opposite of me. 'Cause you're quiet... And smart. And funny, and brave, and an... Okay cook, and- Hey!'

'I'm the best cook you've got,' Ralph retorted, flicking him on the back of the head. 'So you better watch your mouth.'

Joel sighed to himself, hiding the fact that he was positively beaming behind his palm as he pressed it to his jaw, scratching his beard. Ralph placed his hands on his hips, drawing his shoulders up tight and then dropping them.

'...Ren would like you. I don't know if you'd like her, though.' Joel seemed rather offended, prompting Ralph to shrug his shoulders. 'My boyfriend meeting my wife? I dunno if that would go very smoothly, man.'

Joel almost fell flat on his face. Swinging his arm out to catch onto a tree branch and steady himself, glancing back at the rock that had tripped him, he turned his attention back to Ralph in less than a second.

'I'm...?' It was so cliché for Joel's brain to completely abandon him, but it happened, and it made him want to melt into the earth beneath him. Until he decided that was a bad idea because if he was a puddle he could no longer be Ralph's boyfriend- And he quite liked being Ralph's boyfriend. 'Are you... Sure?'

Although Ralph was enjoying the way that Joel turned pink from his hairline right to his collarbones, he seemed a little bit offended by the standoff-ish ness.

Scrunching his face off and turning around to make sure the girls were out of earshot, he nodded his head with a scrunched-up nose. 'Dude, I've literally had your dick in my mouth.'

'Well, I mean- Yeah, I... I know that!' Joel turned around as well to be absolutely positive that such a statement hadn't been overheard. A short distance behind them, Ellie was crouched down and inspecting a ladybug, Lou idle at her side with her arms crossed over her chest. 'I just... I've never had a boyfriend before, y'know.'

'Oh, trust me, I know.' Joel elected to ignore that, hoping that it was unintentional. It must've been because Ralph was paying no mind to it, and instead he stepped closer to Joel, swatting him on the inside of the elbow. 'But, hey. There's a first time for everything, right?'

Pulling his foot up to step onto a ledge, Joel let out a hum of agreement as Ralph tackled the obstacle as well, watching him.

And Joel continued to watch him, even as Ralph raised his arm and pointed ahead of them to the settlement of Jackson ahead of them, because there was something about this all that didn't feel real- A lot of things actually.

A year ago, if you had told Joel Miller that he would wind up head over heels for the strange Korean guy that lived across the hall from him, he either would've laughed in your face or hit you clean across it, depending on what mood you caught him in. But, here he was. Smiling at Ralph Zhenya like he had poured all the color into the nature that surrounded them, like he had saved the world just by standing next to Joel.

In a way, Ralph had. He had saved Joel's world, at least. Or, maybe Ralph was Joel's world.

'Hey, guys?' Ellie spoke up, dragging Joel's attention away from his newly-announced boyfriend and back to her as she shuffled towards them, squinting her eyes to block them from the sun. When she was met with the attention she had requested, it looked like she wanted to backtrack within the second. With a sigh, Ellie moved to stand in front of Joel and Ralph as Lou stood distantly with her Dad.

'...Uhm, back in the house, in the winter, Lou asked me about the first time I killed someone.' Ellie spoke, soft and uncertain, face narrowed in sorrow as she looked at the raven-haired girl. '...When I first got bit in the mall, I wasn't on my own. My best friend was there and she got bit too. We didn't know what to do and she said "We can just wait it out. Be all poetic and just lose our minds together." And then she did. And I had to...'

Ellie took a moment, clearing her throat and tearing her widened eyes away from Lou's still ones. 'Her name was Riley and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam. And then Henr-'

'-That's not on you.' Joel shook his head sternly, frowning down at the girl in front of him. She seemed disappointed by his interruption, opening her mouth and attempting to speak over him only for Ralph to cut in.

'I know what it's like, Ellie.' If she had a dime for every time someone said that and didn't know what it was like, she would be rich. But, in this case, she wouldn't be getting a dime, because she knew that Ralph understood her. So did Joel. So did Lou. They all did. That was why she was telling them this. That was why she knew that they would tell her the truth. 'Things don't always work out the way we want them to. Sometimes, the world hates us. Sometimes... It can feel like you've run into a dead end, and you don't know what to do or where to go next. But, one way or another, you'll always-'

'-Swear to me.' She ordered, looking him right in the eyes, in a way that nobody had ever looked at him before. Determined, sad, angry, authoritative. 'All of you. Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.'

'...I swear.' Joel nodded after a small pause, tapping his knuckle against Ralph's.

'Yeah. Swear.' Ralph followed suit.

So, Ellie looked to her right. Ellie looked to Lou. Ellie looked to one of the first people in the world who was finally able to understand her, to really know her, to see her ups and downs, to smile and laugh with her, to love her like she was something of Lou's own. Ellie knew that, even against Ralph and Joel's wishes, Lou would've told her the truth in a heartbeat, no matter the chaos that would've followed.

Slowly, the girl across from Ellie nodded.

But, when Ellie looked at Lou, there was something different about her. Something had changed. She'd had her suspicions the entire trip here, but now, it was very obvious. She wasn't smiling to calm Ellie's nerves or even giving her a sympathetic frown. She was standing far away from Ralph as if she had never met the man before in her life. She was looking at Ellie as if she was someone new, and Ellie didn't want someone new.

She wanted things to stay as they were. For Lou to stay the same, for Joel and Ralph to stay the same, for herself to stay the same. For the world to give them a break. For them to live in Jackson with no more issues to come. For them to be happy like they all deserved, like they all fought for.

But, deep down, Ellie knew that it wouldn't happen- None of it would. Ever.

'...Okay.'

...

A THANK YOU NOTE!
end of season one,,,,, nobody cry its okay u guys im definitely not crying not at all no way who would even cry its only a silly book HAHAHAHAH sobs and wails and bites a cinderblock

okay, first off, THANK YOU. thank you so much for being here, for reading 40 chapters of my gay little bullshit, voting, commenting, editing, following, hating, loving, laughing, crying, JUST THANK YOUUUUU!
every single one of yous have made a difference, wether u are the most silent or the loudest readers ever!

ive never really wanted to admit it because this is just a silly little fanfic, but writing this book has geniunely changed my life. having so much support and love from everyone whose wasted their time reading this has been the highlights of this year for me. every notification adds a year onto my lifespan (confirmed by scientists!!)

i know that this is only the end of season one and this will look VERY embarrassing and out of place when season two eventually rolls around (which u guys should definitely stay tuned for, dont forget abt me </3), but for the time being;

THANK YOU.
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD KNOW.
MWAH.
GOODBYE!!!