RALPH HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT BEING IN AN ACTUAL HOUSE HAD FELT LIKE, even after being at Bill and Franks, which was at least four months ago by now. Obviously, there was before the apocalypse, out in Connecticut, but back then he had never really thought to admire every room in the home or indulge in every kitchen appliance. There were the apartments in the QZ, and although he had great memories there, they were never the same as having his own house again.

Maria had handed him the keys with the assurance that she would bring them some groceries later on, and also steal Lou back from her new friend. Then, she left them to it, and Ellie ran up the stairs without another word to call dibs on her room and hop in the shower before Ralph could get there first.

He decided to explore a little bit more, but he didn't bother to go too far. He flung open cabinets in the kitchen and inspected pictures in the living room and that was about it. He spent the rest of his evening on the couch, falling asleep while he was waiting for Maria or Lou or Joel, or even for Ellie to stomp down the stairs from her shower and begin to terrorize him. Joel was taking a while, though. And Ralph couldn't help but wonder what him and Tommy could be talking about for so long, or why Tommy had turned the cold shoulder on him so suddenly. There was no way Tommy knew. Tommy of all people, seriously? No way.

Ralph woke up to a knock at the door, praying Joel was back and that he wouldn't come face-to-face with Maria for the third or fourth time today. She was, arguably, more humble than Tommy, but that didn't make her any less goddamn terrifying. At least Tommy was silently passive-aggressive, with Maria, it was far worse because you had to engage in conversation while knowing that she could kill you right then and there if she wanted to.

Just his luck that Maria was standing there with two, full brown paper bags in her hands and Lou at her side. The younger girl's face was pink from the cold outside and the time she had spent in it.

'Jesus, look at you!' He gasped, tugging her in from the doorstep and placing the back of his really warm hand on her really cold cheekbone. 'You're like an icicle, poor thing. Go shower, you got the room on the right.'

'Oooh, you are Joel are sharing?' Her frostbite didn't stop her from wiggling her eyebrows at him. He used the hand that was still against her cheek to pinch her skin between his fingernails, nipping her on the face for her remark. She giggled and smacked him away, running for the stairs.

'No boots upstairs.' Ralph demanded. Lou huffed, jumped down from the first step to kick off her boots, and then disappeared upstairs. Ralph pushed the door further open to allow Maria in, something he probably should've done a while ago.

'Well, I've got good news and bad news.' Maria sighed, placing her grocery bags on the kitchen island and nodding at Ralph to help her put things away. 'What do you want first?'

'Bad.' Ralph said, taking bag number one and beginning to put things away.

'The objectively bad news is that your girl has the hots for Bowie Delvecchio. The good news is, we have a church to marry them in.' Maria joked, and she had the same joking voice that Joel did, only hers was slightly more pleasant. Ralph scoffed and placed a container of sugar on the counter by the sink.

'I will piss on the priest if I have to, Maria.' Ralph tsked, offering her a quick smile, one that he didn't want to give, when he found a bit of amusement in her eyes.

'How long are you folks staying for?' She questioned, opening the fridge and keeping it pinned open with her leg so she could stock it. Ralph hadn't seen a working fridge since Boston but that was just probably because he didn't go snooping around in Bill's.

'Oh, uh, I dunno.' Ralph hummed. 'Joel normally makes all the calls. He's more, like, experienced, I guess. I'm thinking probably not for long. But, this is a beautiful town. Color me impressed.'

'Thank you, Ralph.' Maria sounded like she hadn't expected that kindness, following her assumption that Ralph knew she wasn't very fond of him. She didn't mind him all that much, actually. She thought he was far more pleasant than Tommy's brother. 'Do you and your husband have big plans, then?'

'...Uhm, Joel's not my husband.' Ralph laughed after a moment of silence, shaking his head softly and grinning at a container of coffee granules like they were his pride and joy. 'But, I'm flattered.'

'Oh. Well, that's embarrassing.' She shrugged it off. 'How long have you and Joel been friends?'

'How long's it been since July second?'

'Six months.'

'Probably, like...' Ralph furrowed his eyebrows and did the mental math, counting on his fingers. He decided to subtract the time before Bill and Frank's house because, even if Joel was an undercover friend, he didn't think that it counted. 'Four and a half months, then. Five on a stretch.'

'Wow. You must trust him a lot. That's not a lot of chit-chat time before crossing the country with him.' Maria said, awaiting a reply.

'It was rough at the start, but, yeah. I trust Joel. He's saved my ass too many times.' Ralph gestured towards his hip, still wearing the bloody clothes he had entered with. That reminded Maria to dig around in the bottom of the bag she was unpacking, placing several pairs of clothes down on the counter.

'I had to guess your size. If they don't fit, I can go back and trade them. And I gave some spares to Ellie when she came by earlier, so Lou can wear those.' She slid a pair of dark blue jeans, a white tank top and a white button-up towards him. Ralph really wondered whether Maria was seriously trusting the guy covered in blood to keep white clothes clean, but decided it was better than nothing and accepted them with a smile and a nod. '...Has Joel told you about Sarah?'

Ralph stared at her with furrowed eyebrows, wondering what would prompt her to ask such a random, serious question out of nowhere. Maria continued to speak, seeming unphased by Ralph's reaction. 'Ellie came by earlier and she didn't know. Does Lou know?'

'I...' Ralph scrunched his face up at her, looking genuinely confused. He frowned at her. 'Sorry, but, why's that any of your business?'

'It's not.' Maria said. 'I just want to make sure-'

'If it's not your business, why are you getting involved, then?'

'I want to make sure,' Maria continued, disregarding his interruption. 'That Joel isn't... Misleading you. Joel isn't everything that he seems, Ralph-'

'You've known that guy for three hours.' Ralph placed down a jar of peanut butter a little more aggressively than he probably should've. 'You don't know anything about Joel.'

'Neither do you.' Maria told him. 'Before he met you, Joel and Tommy were with a group of people. Together, they all killed people. They raided and looted things. Joel acted differently. Probably something like the man who shot you. And Tommy followed him because he had no other choice.'

'The kid who shot me is dead. And Lou killed him, not me or Joel.' Ralph glared at her. 'And that Tommy stuff? Whole bunch of bullshit.'

'My husband being wrongly influenced by his big brother is a whole bunch of bullshit?'

'No, I believe that part. I don't believe the part where he had no other choice.' Maria crossed her arms at him, curious to see where this was going, and Ralph raised his pitch, going back to the happy tone he normally spoke in rather than the spiteful one he was using right now.

'Dunno, Maria. It just sounds to me like your husband is a big fucking pussy and he doesn't want to admit that he's a murderer and so he pins the blame on the only person who took care of him... Tommy was a grown man. He made those choices for himself, and you still trust him. So, I'm asking you to trust me with the choices that I'm making - And to get the fuck out of my house.'

They stared at each other for a while, and Maria nodded suddenly, reaching for her bags and taking them back now that they were empty. She took a few steps back from him and sighed. 'I know you can make choices, Ralph. I just want to make sure that you're making the right choices. Especially if you plan on living here in Jackson.'

Maria smiled at him. 'Welcome, though.'

...

AFTER MARIA LEFT, it didn't take Ellie long to wobble down the stairs and into the living room, with Ralph sitting in his signature spot on the couch with a shitty DVD playing on the TV in front of him and a beer in his hand. Of course, Ellie being Ellie, she saw this as a perfect opportunity to try and coax some booze off of him, so she plopped herself next to him.

'Oh, hey, kid.' He smiled at her, shifting over to give her more space on the two-seater. It didn't really work, her knee was still digging into his good side as she sat on her knees next to him, not planning on staying for long. Something strange happened. 'You okay? Want me to make you something to eat? The clothes not fit or something?'

Ellie looked at him, completely puzzled. She already knew that Ralph was a nice guy, of course, he was, he was an absolute godsend, but there had always been a very clear line between his dad kindness, his Joel kindness, and then his Ellie kindness.

His Joel kindness was all romantic and lovey-dovey, and that said enough about that.

His Lou kindness was the biggest kind of kindness it got. He was far closer to Lou than he was to anyone, that was a given. He treated her better than he treated himself. He gave her food that he wasn't finished eating, let her drink water that he was dying for, gave her his jacket even though his lips were turning blue. Things like that.

His Ellie kindness was far different because it was far different when it came to her. They were in this strange situation where they were friends, but silently, because it was weird for a fifty-year-old to say, or even admit mentally, that he was friends with a fourteen-year-old, and vice versa. Ellie didn't want one of her only friends to be an old man. That was weird.

Anyway, Ellie used her super great detective skills to figure out that, right now, Ralph was using his dad kindness. She chalked it up to him being drunk, reminding her of her original goal. 'Kind of thirsty. What are you even doing down here anyway? Where's Joel?'

'Still with Tommy. Planning to murder me, probably.' He nodded his head towards the screen. 'You ever seen Jaws?'

Ellie looked over at the TV, saw a big, blue ocean with suspenseful music, and her interest was immediately piqued. She shifted off of her knees and onto a more comfortable position, shaking her head.

'So, pretty much, there's this shark, and it goes around eating people. And the police are like, "Hey, man, we gotta catch this shark. It's up to no good." So, then they go and catch the shark.'

Ellie was waiting patiently for him to continue his sentence, seeming intrigued. '...And then what?'

'That's it.' Ralph shrugged, taking another drink of his beer. Ellie laughed at him, thinking that he wasn't serious. 'I'm totally serious. And people think it's the greatest movie ever made. Worst part is, the shark isn't even scary, wait until you see it.'

They sat in silence for a while, just watching the movie together and waiting for Ralph's promise to come true. Sure enough, some ugly little plastic shark showed up on screen, and Ellie burst out laughing.

'I know, right?' Ralph smiled at her. 'That used to scare the shit out of younger me!'

'This movie was out when you were born? Jesus, when was that?' Ellie furrowed her eyebrows, not meaning to come across as rude and also not meaning to get a pillow thrown at her head, catching it but still falling onto her back regardless. Her legs ended up splayed across Ralph's, and he didn't do anything to remove her. Again, that was his dad kindness.

'Okay, watch it. I'm in the prime of my life and you know it.' He taunted. 'And, for your information, this movie's younger than me.'

'That's even worse, dude! You are sooooo old.' Ellie laughed, squirming around before eventually pushing herself to sit upright. She found herself looking over at the door, still waiting for Joel to show up after spending the entire day away from them. '...How long do you think we're gonna stay here?'

'Hopefully for a while.' He shrugged, resting the chilly bottom of his beer bottle on the tops of her knees. 'It's better than living nowhere. But, knowing Joel, we could be up and outta here within the hour.'

'What were you and Maria talking about earlier?' Ellie asked quietly.

'Nothing you need to be worried about, kid.' He smiled at her warmly, pursing his lips at her. She nodded her head and slumped back against the couch, pillow in her arms and legs in his lap as she went back to watching the movie. He went back to it as well, only interacting with her to lift his beer off of her knees and place it back down. The movie cut back to the police station, no longer a scene of spooky anticipation, and that was when Ralph took the opportunity to talk.

'You're a good kid, Ellie.' He said suddenly, and she had to look at him to make sure she had heard that correctly. She knew she had because he was grinning at her, but it was a kind of sad one. 'Just wanted to let you know that. 'Cause, you know, Joel's not really like that. And, Lou's got me and stuff. So, just wanted you to know that you've got me too. Alright?'

Ellie shifted her legs out of his lap and stared at him like she couldn't believe it. She couldn't, but she also could- She was in this super awkward grey area where she just kind of stared at him, unsure of how to handle those words. She thought for a while and Ralph let her. He gave her all the time that she needed, which was a pretty long time because when she looked back at the TV, it wasn't focused on the police station anymore.

Ellie stared at the screen for a while, and Ralph fully believed that she had just ignored him and went back to watching until she threw her arms around his shoulders out of the blue. Ellie shoved her face into his shoulder and hugged him, clinging to him in silence while the stupid country people from the movie kept talking. He pressed his palm to the side of her arm, surprised but still enjoying this unpredictable reaction. It was sweet, but also kind of gross because Ralph still hadn't showered since there was only one in the house and Ellie had been hogging it since they got there.

'You stink.' Ellie's laugh was muffled by the collar of his shirt.

'Fuck you.' Ralph's was clear as day.

...

NOTES!

yells. cries. screams a little bit. maybe even shouts.

HOOOONK ralph and ellie r so cute my little gyuhtbrvf egreuhxdjc my little cubicles i love them so much

also
this is ur warning that i MAAAAY not be able to give
yall chapter 22 on friday bc friday is st paddys day and since im irish i will def be out throwing a rager bc u know team spirit and errything love that fella x

if chapter 22 is not up on friday TRUST ME it will be up first thing on saturday, i dont want to keep it from yall any longer than i alrdy have been LOL

honk honk i love gay ppl anyway byebye