'SO, EVERYTHING CAME CRASHING DOWN IN ONE DAY?' Ellie asked as the four of them shuffled down an identical dirt path from the one earlier. This one had fewer trees and more open fields, though.

'Pretty much.' Joel shrugged.

'How? I mean, no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody's fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. And, then, all at once? How did it even start? If you have to get bit to be infected, who bit the first person?'

'It was Lou.' Ralph joked, wiggling her by the head.

'I'll bite you next.' She threatened as she stumbled, clamping her teeth close to his hand and making him draw back.

'I thought you went to school?' Joel ignored them, looking at Ellie.

'Yeah, FEDRA school. They don't teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.' Ellie huffed.

'Schools don't teach kids most things.' Ralph sighed. 'Nobody knows the actual reason, but a lot of people think that the Cordyceps mutated. Some of it got into the food supply, some really basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were brands of food that got sold everywhere, all across the world. You eat enough of it, it'll get you infected. Then, the infected food hits the stores, and people buy, people eat, people get sick, people turn into monsters.'

'...Makes more sense than Lou biting people.' Ellie mumbled to herself, smiling when the girl in question shoved her.

'I don't bite people!' She insisted.

'You bit me all the time when you were a baby.' Ralph countered, a grin coming to his face when he remembered such a thing. 'Mandy down the hall used to call you a demon baby.'

'Pretty sure you bit me once or twice.' Joel commented with a look of fondness on his face. His expression faltered for a bit as he considered what he was going to say next, but he decided that there would be no harm in mentioning the woman if it was for the sake of a happy moment. 'There was one time you got Tess good. Right on the side of the neck like a goddamn vampire.'

'Am I the only one here who hasn't been bitten by Lou?' Ellie found this topic hilarious judging by the laugh she was fighting back.

'Don't act so smug. You're the next one on my list.' Lou taunted, even though she was still a little bit pissed about the remembrance of her embarrassing baby stories.

Joel stopped in his tracks, reached out, and stopped Ralph too. He pointed towards the trees on the right of them, leading away from the road ahead. 'We'll cut across the woods here.'

'Isn't the road easier?' Ellie questioned.

'Yeah, it's just— There's stuff up there you girls shouldn't be seeing.' He replied gruffly.

'Well, now we haaave to see!' Lou insisted, starting to walk again and dragging Ellie behind her by the sleeve.

'I don't want you to. Serious, Lou! Ellie!' Joel rolled his eyes when neither of them let up, and that was when Ralph stepped in.

'Girls, come on, listen to Joel.' He said, sounding fed up even though they weren't doing anything bad. Lou turned around to look at him, slowing down. Ellie did too. 'He's looking out for you guys.'

'Yes, I am! Thank you, Ralph.' He sighed in relief.

'Can it hurt us?' Ellie asked, crossing her arms and looking at Joel.

'...No.'

The teenagers started walking again, this time faster so they wouldn't be stopped once more.

'You're too honest, man. Should've said axe murderer.' Ellie teased him.

...

'BILL AND FRANK ARE DOING WELL FOR THEMSELVES.' Lou said to herself as they stood in front of a barb-wired gate with a shit ton of warning signs plastered all over it. Behind the gate was a neighbourhood, run down and gross-looking just like every other building they had come across so far, apart from one house in the middle of the small community.

It was a huge, white mansion with pretty plants and flowers and a stone wall surrounding it. She guessed this was where Bill and Frank lived because it was the only house that was obviously being cared for.

Joel stepped forward and reached for the keypad next to the door, punching in a string of numbers with a beep coming after every one. It made a buzzing sound, and a lock clicked open.

'This place is crazy.' Ralph mumbled, stepping through the door as Joel held it open for him and looking around. It had a church and stores and a school and everything, a proper little town. 'Is this what a cult looks like?'

'Get moving.' Joel demanded, giving him a small shove on the shoulder to get him to walk again.

'Rude.' Ralph mocked, following after him anyway.

Joel shuffled up the small, gravel path of the big, white house, looking at the not-so-healthy plants as he walked past them with concern imprinted on his face. He reached for the door and twisted the handle. He took a moment to think when it swung open with ease, completely unlocked and ready for anyone to enter.

'What the fuuuuck?' Ellie whispered, walking up behind Lou and peering into the living room next to them.

'Bill?' Joel called out, looking up the stairs and then down the hallway, and then into the dining room. There was no response, not even a sound. Just silence. 'Frank?'

'You said they were here?' Lou questioned Joel with wide eyes.

'They are.' He grumbled, taking another look around before turning to face them. 'You two stay here. You hear anything, you see anything, yell. Can you check upstairs, Al? You see either of them, tell them you're with me. They'll get it.'

'Sure thing.' Ralph nodded, reaching for his pistol and heading for the staircase.

...

THIS PLACE REMINDED HIM OF HIS GRANDMA'S HOUSE. It just had that unspoken element about it. Floral wallpaper, grey carpet, rusty door handles, pictures on dressing tables, and candles everywhere. He really doubted that big bad Bill and his best friend Frank lived here of all places. Didn't seem like the place where a mean person would live.

There were piles of doors in the hallway, so he started at the top and worked his way down. A bathroom, a supply closet, an office-like space, another supply closet, and then a bedroom.

The final room was empty, thank God. Joel was lucky that there was no way into the downstairs bedroom, seeing as that was where Bill and Frank were sleeping.

'Bill? Frank?' He asked awkwardly, standing at the door like he was intruding on something even though the room was entirely empty except for him. He stayed there for a moment, awaiting a reply, but then took matters into his own hand when he didn't receive one.

He tucked his gun back under his belt and put on his detective boots.

He didn't want to touch anything, not if he didn't need to. For all he knew, Bill and Frank could've been down at the church and would be back soon enough to shoot at the guy who was snooping in their bedroom.

They had a nice house, though. Nice bedroom. Silk sheets and cute decorations, pictures of themselves all over the place. One of them looked rather mean, meaning that one was probably Bill. He had blue eyes and dark hair and a big, brown beard. His seemed to be permanently wrinkled into a frown, even if he was smiling in a few of the photos.

The other man, Frank, was the complete opposite. He had blue eyes too, and his hair was a lighter brown, almost blonde, but it was starting to go gray. He was smiling in all the pictures, even if the man beside him was frowning and shooing away the camera.

He was smiling in a photo where he was kneeling next to Tess, a backpack laying open in front of her. She was grinning at the camera too, raising her left hand in a thumbs-up while her other was reaching for a bag of, what looked to be, seeds.

Ralph smiled at it. It was strange seeing Tess again, without that big bruise on her face, or the grey hairs she resented, and smiling. It was as if he had never met her in the first place and was looking at her for the first time. He barely recognized her. He missed her. For some odd, unknown reason.

'You find anything?' Joel called from the bottom of the stairs, the wide open door allowing Ralph to hear him clearly. He held the framed photograph in his hand as he walked to the doorway to send a response back down.

'Uh, no. What about you?' He asked, staring down at the picture and waddling back over to where it was meant to be. He set it back down, and it blended in with the other pictures beautifully, but he was still unable to draw his eyes away from it.

'No. Get back down here, we'll check the garage together.' Joel's order was merely a second thought as Ralph looked at the picture and bit the inside of his cheek, planting his hands on his hips.

First off, him, his daughter, and some random buffoons had broken into these guys' house. Then, they started digging around and entering any and every room possible. Lou and Ellie probably destroyed that beautiful piano in the front room. And, now, he was planning to steal some picture with a random guy in it and a woman he spoke to maybe four times.

That was not a good look on him.

'Oh, well.' He hummed to himself, opening the back of the frame and slipping the candid out of it.

...

'HEY.' Ralph reached the bottom of the stairs not a minute later to find Joel standing there, waiting for his return. Joel offered him a tight-lipped almost-smile and nodded his head towards the front door, signalling they were going the long way. Ralph was already pretty fed up with walking, and resented Joel for the choice, but began to head for the door with the man by his side until he saw something. He looked over to the only occupied seat at the dining table. 'What's that?'

He pointed at Ellie as she held a wrinkled sheet of paper in her hands, reading it with Lou leaning on the arm of the chair she was sitting in. She flicked it downwards when she was questioned about it, looking between the two men and hesitating to speak up.

'It's from Bill.' She said finally, voice sad and low.

Ralph looked to Joel as they stood together, eyebrows furrowed in sympathy. Joel's gaze faltered for a little bit, his face replicating the same unhappy expression Ralph had, but he cleared his throat and made his face look just as angry as it always had been.

'It said "To whomever, but probably Joel," and we figured we fell under "whomever."' Lou informed them quickly, leaning over Ellie to flick the key that was included in the envelope. It spun across the hardwood and landed right on the edge. 'He left you a gift, too.'

Joel stepped forward silently, retrieving the key and looking at the teenagers.

'...So, they're dead?' He sounded like he expected it, like he already knew it was coming. Ellie gave him a timid nod, awkward about the whole thing. He sighed, even though he knew how this was going to go, and he looked at the ground for a bit. After a moment or two, he walked back to where he originally stood, next to Ralph.

He didn't move after that. He didn't go out to the garage like they had planned, or bark out any other demands. He just felt like standing next to Ralph right then and there, as if it would suddenly make everything alright again.

The pit in Joel's stomach loosened a little when Ralph placed a hand on his back, gentle and comforting. It tightened up again when Lou took the letter from her friend's hands and began to read.

'August twenty-ninth, twenty-twenty-three. If you find this, please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn't smell, but it will probably be a sight. I'm guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would've been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe. Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway, I never liked you, but still, it's like we're friends, almost. And I respect you. So, I'm gonna tell you something because you're probably the only person who will understand.'

She cleared her throat.

'I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But, I was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. That's what I did. I saved him. Then, I protected him. That's why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. We protect the person, or people, that need us. And God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep...'

Ralph's hand dropped from Joel's shoulders when he walked over to the girls and snatched the letter right out of Ellie's hand. He circled back, though, and took his spot again as he read what Lou couldn't.

"To keep Tess safe."

Joel looked up, but at nothing in particular. He looked away from the page, from the words, like it had hurt him. And it had. Ralph could tell. He could always tell with things like these. There was once a time when he was the exact same way. He understood Joel. And even though Joel knew that, it didn't stop him from being the same stubborn asshole he always had been.

'Stay here.'

...

'IF I KNEW WHAT A STAR WARS WAS, I'd say that this is what it is.' Lou exclaimed, looking around the basement. Of course, the wall full of guns was the first thing she ran to, like a moth to a light, and Ralph had to steer her away by the shoulders.

The next thing she flocked to was the monitors, the ones that Joel stood in front of, and leaned forward to squint at the cameras and try to remember where she had seen that spot at before they entered the house. Ellie was intrigued with the copious amounts of boxes and cans and supplies, reading all of their labels and picking up things she shouldn't have been.

'Grab some cans, Ellie. Nothin' swollen or dented.' He instructed, and she did as she was told eagerly, excited to pick up shiny, suspicious cans and plop them into her backpack.

Joel leaned back from the desk he and Lou were inspecting and walked to the far side of the basement, looking at something he had set up. 'Needs another hour.'

'They have hot water!' Ellie sang, shimmying around victoriously as she held her hands out under the faucet. 'I'm taking a shower! And then you guys are showering, because seriously.'

'There's a bathroom upstairs as well. You guys might as well kill two birds with one stone.' Ralph suggested with a shrug, looking around the place. Ellie froze on her journey to the door, spinning around to stare at Lou. The older girl grinned at her and hurried to her side so they could both go shower for the first time in sixteen days (on Ellie's part. Hopefully not on Lou's part.)

They stomped up the steps excitedly, and it felt dumb to be giddy over such a simple thing, but, eventually, the footsteps disappeared into the house and Joel and Ralph were left alone.

'...You can take a gun if you wanna.' Joel said suddenly, ruining the peaceful silence. He waved his arm over to the wall full of weapons like it was no big deal. 'You can't do everything with that pistol.'

'You'd be surprised.' Despite his snarky comment, shortly after it, Ralph got up anyways to go and do some window shopping. Joel watched him, only because he had nothing better to do, and stared at the back of his head while Ralph looked everything over.

Even though Joel had done nothing but be a complete and utter asscrack, Ralph was still awfully nice about everything he did and said. After being blackmailed all the way over here with his teenage daughter by his side, Joel thought that he would be pissed. Not trying to make small talk.

Joel had thought about it many times, established it even moreso. He just couldn't believe that there was someone on Earth this kind. Even his best friend was a sarcastic asswipe, may she rest in peace. Even Ralph's own daughter was kind of a dick, but he was just never capable of being one. In hindsight, he probably was capable, but he just figured that there would be no gain within it.

'Thank you.' Joel blamed Bill's letter for making him all sad and mushy and emotional. Ralph turned around slightly, looking across the basement and straight at Joel from over his shoulder. '...For— For being nice about the thing... The note.'

Joel felt stupid for saying it out loud now, especially when Ralph looked at his shoes for a moment. All the man did was pat him on the shoulder, and here he was being praised for it. Bare minimum, Joel thought, even though he still appreciated every second of it, during and after.

'It's... It's cool, man. Anyone would've.' Ralph said softly, wiggling his arms around like he was going to shrug but abandoning the motion halfway through. 'And... And I know what it's like. About Bill, and Frank, and Tess. It sucks to lose people because it always feels like nobody understands, like you're always gonna be alone in it. But, I, uhm... I get you. And I'm always here if you wanna talk. I mean, we are kind of stuck together, aren't we?'

Thankfully, Joel laughed. He'd been wanting a reason to do that, even if it was one of Ralph's shitty not-even-a-joke jokes. Maybe he laughed so he wouldn't cry.

'We are.' He repeated, looking down at his intertwined fingers to break the eye contact and, hopefully, the conversation.

He looked down and found the bandage that Ralph had applied staring back at him. It was only earlier in the day, but it felt so long ago. Ignoring the fact that it felt like a trillion years ago, Joel still remembered every detail of the conversation;

KT tape cuts off circulation. Ralph moved to America for college. Ralph's dad sucked. Zhenya family tradition. Zoologist. Sun Bears— Rare species. Oval faces. Ralph laughed. He had the nicest smile ever.

Recalling the conversation, the one thing that had been able to make Joel crack a smile, he also remembered another thing Ralph had said, far in the morning;

"It's cool that you hate me, I'm at peace with it."

That stung.

Joel had been actively trying to shake off Ralph Zhenya for years (not as if the antisocial little freakazoid was clinging to him). Avoiding birthdays, not making conversation on the street, letting Tess take care of Lou when she was over. Realizing that it worked?

That stung. The worst part was that Joel had done it for no reason. Not one valid motive at all. He was just annoyed, all of the time, for no reason. He was mean. Mean to Ralph, of all people.

'I don't hate you, Ralph.' An apology could've been a good idea. A long monologue about how Ralph was a ray of sunshine that had saved Joel's ass, like, three times already. That was all he could manage, at least for now.

'...I know, Joel.' Ralph smiled. 'I know.'

...

NOTES!

RIP FRANK AND BILL U WOULD'VE LOVED APOCALYPSE DADS, REST EASY KINGS!!!!

ralph taking tess's picture and comforting joel i WILL cry

guys i am a rugby pro bc we did rugby in pe and i was CRAACKED like i was actually a beast it was cray cray
yall r lucky u wont ever have to face me in a rugby match
i would BOOT every single one of u guys
ok enough flexing

also episode six??? JESUS.

okay meep morp bye bye