14. Tea House

Silver light from the slow moon, Gáo, outlined the curly roof line of the tea house. Entrances graced each of its four corners. Groomed shrubbery and clipped hedges made the grounds into a leafy maze.

"Clever," murmured Tash. "You'd need at least eight pairs of eyes to properly surveil this place."

"What a beautiful building. It's a lot prettier than the Shagging Rabbits," Séa said.

"Shaggy—" Tash bit off her sentence, then sighed. "Never mind."

"Cleverness abounds, here," Ghomarck said. "But let us go in without delay."

The shrubbery swallowed their shadowy forms. They crept past the threshold of a corner entrance. Faint light illuminated potted plants, chandeliers, petite tables, wicker chairs, and painted parchment screens. The watery voices of several fountains burbled soothingly.

"I feel like I'm being watched," the rogue murmured.

"Sure! By me," Séa chirped.

Tash guffawed. "Séa."

"What? Even buried in a robe I get tingly glimpses."

"Ladies," Ghomarck wheezed, "I pray, do maintain circumspection. Naturally, we are being observed. By our actions, words, and magical auras we are judged. Come this way, behind the kitchen."

They skirted an island of stoves, counters, and cabinets. A trap door of the obvious variety led to stairs that descended below ground level. Séa whispered to Tash, "What's circumspection? It sounds naughty or medical or both."

"I don't really know, but he always wants you to be quiet, so maybe that's it."

"But being loud is one of my finest features."

The wizard halted before an extremely solid metal door with no visible latch or knob. He pinched the bridge of his nose as if quelling a headache. "Please, be quiet. I must plead my case." He cleared his throat and faced the featureless barrier. "I hight Master Ghomarck, wizard of the circle. I have two companions not of the circle, but this is an emergency. I request entry to the tea room. Party of three. Reservations in the name of Braphéa, Jai, Herpsilagodos, Schyll, and Ter-Ferras." He exhaled through his mustache and muttered. "May he rest in the vaporous arms of Shalamoux-Nora."

Subdued trickles and splashes of fountain water frolicked above them as time stretched. Séa squirmed. Her eyes roved between Tash and Ghomarck, and she twitched.

Finally, she blurted, "That was so poetic! I barely understood a word." She stage-whispered to Tash, "He's very good, isn't he?"

Tash giggled.

Ghomarck buried his face in his hands.

The door popped open with unnatural swiftness. An elderly female gnome peered up at them over half-moon spectacles. "In! In, all of you," she scolded. She backed up to allow their entrance and shook a finger at the wizard. "Most irregular, Ghomarck. Don't make me regret this." She frowned deeply and shook her head from side to side. "Dark days. Dark hours."

Gloom cloaked the underground space until the door clicked shut. In that moment, crystal orbs placed around the room shimmered with greenish light. Dormant fountains percolated to musical life. Vines covered the stone-block walls of the cozy, humid space. Curvy garden ponds weaved around hoary dwarf trees and carved stone fountains. The sight lit Tash's and Séa's faces with expressions of delight.

Oblivious to the meticulously-tended beauty, the wizard glowered. "It is worse than you know, Mistress Nolla. These two report strong hints that our present plight is due to demonic influences in court."

Wrinkles created by years of accumulated smiles wreathed the gnome's face, but her current expression swam in doubt and worry. A cheery green cap topped her nest of gray hair. Bright golds and greens weaved through her dress. Even her shoes sported gold buckles on green leather. Briskly, she walked through the maze of groomed waterways with the party in tow.

"Ah," she said. "Bad news, yet paradoxically welcome. It brings the possibility that sense can be made of the senseless goings-on in Jagged Keep."

"These two will investigate there," Ghomarck said.

"And you?" the gnome said.

The wizard pursed his lips. "I mean to gather what's left of the circle, and then follow them. I will overuse the magic mouth spell, I fear."

Séa nudged Tash. "Your magic mouth is better than his."

The rogue sniffed, though she could not stop a sparkle of humor from lighting her eyes. "Hush, you, or I'll introduce you to my magic fist."

"Sounds adventurous," Séa said, "but could you introduce me to your magic fingers first?"

"I can see why you want to be rid of them," Mistress Nolla told Ghomarck.

They halted before an ornate arch. A green pseudodragon perched atop it, still as stone. Perhaps the beady-eyed little reptile was stone, carved by a master of realistic sculpture. Within the arch's frame shadows gathered. The keenest eye could never penetrate its gloom-enshrouded curtain. The gnome whirled to face the women and planted her little hands on her hips. "It's a shadow-door. When you're through, memorize how it looks from the other side." Her eye twinkled cheerily. "If you wish to return, that is."

"Do return, if pressed," commanded Ghomarck. "Do not hesitate. Untold dangers may await you if the keep is infested with demons. I will try to recruit reinforcements, but I cannot promise success." He peered at them from under plaintively-tilted eyebrows. "I'd rather lose the kingdom than lose you two."

"Aww, Master Ghomarck." Séa wrapped her muscled arms around the old man and squeezed.

"Urk," he said. Given that the paladin still wore chain mail underneath the wizard robe, the embrace resembled the squeeze of a vice.

The twinkle in the gnomish woman's eye died. "Do you think we might lose the kingdom?"

Ghomarck pushed free of Séa's arms. "No, Nolla." A grim rasp darkened his voice. "We've already lost it. The question is, can we wrest it back?"

15. Armory

The shadows cleared from their eyes and cool, humid air chilled their skins. The women stood wrapped in gloom in an alcove behind a life-sized statue. The carved stone resembled a robed, long-haired woman whose arms extended, palms up, as if in supplication. Or, perhaps, incantation. The slow drip of seeping water broke the heavy silence.

The women felt eyes upon the backs of their necks. Twisting their necks, they scanned behind them. A stone-still pseudodragon's beady eyes stared implacably back from atop the shadowed arch. "I love wizards and everything," Séa whispered, "but they can be sort of unnerving."

The women crept out from behind the statue into a museum hall, now empty of animal life. Luminous fungus provided dim light in the damp space. A double row of statues stood enshrined within alcoves. The plain, masterful architecture impressed.

Tash squinted at the carved plaque at the statue's base. "Braphéa, Seventh High Mage of Omnius."

Séa intoned, "May it please Shalamoux-Nora, mistress of magic."

"To please Giasleppi, I wonder if I should draw a mustache on her lip."

"Erm." Séa's face echoed the worry in her voice.

"Only joking. Let's find the armory. Door's on the right, then turn left."

They padded off at a cautious velocity. Gloom thickened the hallway. Even more oppressive, a sense of dread descended on the women's psyches. Using recent experience as a guide, they identified the queasy sensation as the otherworldly presence of demonkind. Séa spun her little club in her hand, and an eager gleam sparked in her gray eyes.

"And left again," whispered Tash.

The stone floor felt smooth beneath their feet, as if it was important. Its importance, however, did not extend to the placement of torches. Even Tash could barely see, and Séa shuffled along all but sightless. By some unspoken communication, they reached for each other's hands. Thus linked, they forged ahead into the unknown.

"The next right should be it," Tash whispered. "I can't believe there are no guards. There's nobody."

"And no light. Oh, wait. What's that?"

A small amount of light outlined twin rectangles to their right. The edges of a double door beckoned them forward. Tash let go of Séa and crouched by it, her splayed hands exploring the arrangement. She grunted. With a heavy click, the door swung open and a sickly green light spilled out. She muttered. "Beholder butts. It wasn't even locked."

"I don't like the color of that eerie light." Despite her wording, Séa sounded perfectly happy. "Demons have been here. Or demon-loving mages."

Several orbs floated mid-air in a broad room full of shelves, racks, and bins. The orbs emitted a bilious green glow that illuminated the armor and weapons that crowded the room. A faintly acidic tang sharpened the air. A pulsing whir began, then ended.

Tash eyed the racks and bins. Nothing moved. "What was that? Is there a bird loose in here?"

"A demon bird, maybe," Séa said. "Oh, shiny!" She moved to investigate a hanging row of plate mail tassets, cuisses, greaves, and sabatons.

"If it's a bird, we should get some arrows and a bow, then," reasoned Tash.

The rogue skirted a rack of battleaxes, and pain lanced her forearm. "Aiee!" A red and yellow band wrapped around her sleeve and leathery wings beat the air and brushed at her face. A small head with reptile eyes pressed against her flesh and radiated acidic agony.

She shook off the shock and grimaced. "A fecking flying snake?" With a twist of her body, she yanked her right-hip dagger free with her left hand. In her agonized right hand, the fiery pain faded, but numbness and a lack of response set in.

A flurry of flapping echoed in the room, accompanied by breathy hisses. Writhing coils sped through the air at Tash. Her heart sank in dread and her throat clenched in fear— until the most beautiful voice in the world chanted, "Endurer, lend me your aid."

A club whizzed by Tash's face. With a petite explosion of acidic blood, the blunt hunk of hardwood broke an incoming flying snake. It flopped to the floor and twitched. Séa's faintly luminous body interposed itself between the rogue and three more reptiles that dived from the air. With a trio of jingles, they impacted against her chain mail.

Madly, Tash stabbed at the snake coiled about her right forearm. Its tough, rubbery flesh resisted her blade's cutting edge. Its vertical-pupiled eye glowed the volcanic red of pure hate.

Séa abandoned her club and grabbed with her hands. In a moment, she whirled to face Tash. She throttled three snake necks in her left hand and laid her right on Tash's parasite. Beatifically, her placid face relaxed even more. Her clarion voice called, "By Torugg's grace, you are banished."

A brief blue glow flared around all four avian reptiles. The divine radiance overwhelmed them, and they effervesced. Soon, they boiled away in clouds of black fog.

"Double feck." Tash's teeth ground together. "They were demon flying snakes?"

"Mmm, hmm." Séa wore the same dreamy expression as a kid eating chocolate. Then her eyes flicked down to Tash's bleeding forearm. "That's not good."

The rogue bit her own lip. A thin note in her voice echoed her inner queasiness. "I can't feel it and it smells like it's rotting."

The paladin bent to kiss it. She murmured, "May Torugg grant me his blessing. May I be his conduit of divine grace."

In a gust of warmth and pinkish light, feeling returned to Tash's arm. Séa's arms encircled her, low on her waist. "Best catch those sorts of poisons before they get up to speed, eh?"

"You dork of a paladin." Tash lifted an accusatory eyebrow. "I love you so much."

The rogue turned her face upward. The paladin tilted her head and angled it down, seeking Tash's lips.

A moment before they connected, Séa broke away. With a grunt, she stomped on the snake she had previously injured with her club. It writhed under her boot heel, but the vigor of its movements decreased as time passed. "Nasty little things. Let's get properly dressed before more appear."

16. Guilt

Séa folded the journeyman wizard robes with great care. In places, acid-burnt dots marred the quality fabric. The sight brought a grimace to the paladin's face. She whispered, "Mighty Torugg forgive my transgression. I will submit to any penance that the store owner requires."

She slid the pair of folded robes into a shelf above some gauntlets, a place she could locate again once this business was over.

By the armory exit, Tash tested a stolen saber. Between slices and thrusts, the rogue said, "Done agonizing over morals? Let's go."

An ONC recommendation.

Horror and sapphic romance mingle in this tale by SmokeAndOranges :

When a series of paranormal murders threaten the student population of Melliford Academy, aspiring dropout Des Winchester must team up with straitlaced (and unfairly attractive) top student Exie Quinnell to stop the murderer before it claims them all.