FERN

After Croc left, I sat grinning for a full minute before I picked up the fabric and shook it loose. It was a simple cotton dress, olive green but for one small white daisy embroidered onto the collar. It had an earthy feel to it, perfect for a witch. I crawled into my shelter, pulled off all the layers I'd been wearing before, and slid the thin material over my head.

The air was crisp when I stepped back out, but not unbearably so. I could handle the temperature for a while. It wasn't cold enough for it to be dangerous, and I had a fire to warm me back up after the night was over. The dress hugged my top half and hung loose to my ankles. It was an odd sensation to wear it and not my usual clothes. As if I'd been liberated from jeans and layers and boots.

I unbraided my hair and ran my fingers through the strands, parting it down the center and letting it fall like a wheat colored blanket around me. The more I did, the more I forgot about past Halloweens and lost myself in this one.

I mixed ash from the fire with water and used the mixture to line my eyes, thinking of when I'd come up with the trick while camping with Daddy. He'd shook his head and said that makeup wasn't a survival tool, but I hadn't cared. I'd been around thirteen at the time, and to that past version of myself, makeup was survival.

I grabbed a few of the berries Tex and I had scavenged and used the juice to stain my lips.

I had no idea what I looked like, but I felt...myself. I felt like Fern, before, as if I'd resurrected her to use for this one day. How would she have lived it? If nothing had changed, if they hadn't gone, if I'd been any normal girl with a normal life, what would I have done?

I built up the fire and set a pot of water to boil, adding moss to give it a grimier appearance. Then, I sat and planned what I would say, how I would talk, whether I would cackle, and a mix of words to use as magic spells to cast over them.

When the sun was totally set and the moon was out, they finally arrived. I sat on my knees by the fire, the dress a perfect circle around my legs, head down and hair a curtain around my face.

"Ooh, this is scary," I heard Julia's raspy whisper. The brush rustled as they made their way closer, steps slow. When two sets of shoes entered my line of sight, I flipped my head up to show them my face.

A squeak erupted from the little girl, and Croc appeared like a bullet to snatch her up into his arms. Julia grinned at me. Willow was too busy laughing at Croc to pay much attention. I glanced at Tex out of the corner of my eye. He stood perfectly still, not one of his many smiles on his face. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought him a statue. Was that his costume? A wooden man carved from a mighty oak?

When I realized I'd been staring back for too long, I focused back on the fire, and the pot of moss I had boiling there. "Double bubble, boil or I'm in trouble."

Julia snorted, and the little boy gave a high, tinkling laugh. My attention jerked to his bright face, the chubby cheeks and almond curls peeking out of his corn cob costume. Not a baby, but not quite a child. That stage in between when all the world was new, and life was an adventure. My chest constricted. While I'd seen these children before, I'd yet to make one smile. I wanted to do it again.

"I have been waiting for the children," I said, voice shrill and high. "I have gifts for you."

"Don't take 'em!" a voice cried from the darkness outside the circle. It took me a moment to realize it was Maurice. I hadn't seen him once since I'd patched up his butt. Tex said he'd outright refused to let me check his wound. "She's dangerous. This shit ain't funny!"

Remembering the way Croc had reacted, a wild hair took over me, and I formed my hands into claws and lunged and hissed in the direction his voice had come from. A shriek and a thud followed, and Julia and Willow's laughter was enough to keep the kids at ease.

But it was Tex's laugh that struck me. The deep, booming sound made my eyes instantly latch onto his face. My favorite smile stretched his lips, and I couldn't stop mine from curving to match.

The girl scrambled from Croc's arms and stepped closer, pulling my attention away. "Is it more candy?"

I grabbed the two candy bars Tex had given me and held them out. "Yes, sweet child. But I have others as well. A spell to give you good luck."

Her eyes rounded, but the boy was too busy pulling at the yellow frock to care.

I grabbed my wooden spoon and stirred the concoction, then chanted all the plant names beneath my breath like I used to do when I was still learning. When I made it up to poisonous species, I stopped and looked up at them. "Good luck be upon you, my darlings. It is said. It is done." I laughed again, a shrill high cackle.

Willow whispered to Julia, "That's what you sound like when you're being bad."

Julia elbowed her. "You hush."

I placed the candy into their palms with a grin and waved with my fingers.

"Alright, kids. That's enough excitement. It's time to go back to our tent," Julia declared.

"Awe! Do we have to? I want to see more magic. What else can you do?" The little girl was practically bouncing, and I wanted them to stay. I could have spent the entire night making up stories to tell them. The normalcy of the moment, the bittersweet nostalgia, was intoxicating. I didn't want it to end.

"Nope," Willow said, swooping her up on her hip.

More complaints rang up as they started away, but Julia stopped to lean down and pinch my cheek. "You're a little too good at that. Maybe that's why my garden is growing so good." She let go and patted me twice. "See you in the morning, sweetheart."

"Night," I called to her back as she walked away.

Instead of leaving, Tex stepped over and extended a hand.

I looked up and let the warmth in his expression seep into me, then took his offering and allowed him to pull me to my feet. The dress fell to once again brush my ankles. Cool air drifted over my skin, and a chill tingled down my spine that wasn't entirely because of the cold.

He sucked a breath in threw his teeth and whistled long and low. "You're prettier than a diamond in a poor man's hand."

My cheeks warmed, and I ducked my head, studying the dress to buy time to compose myself. He thought I was pretty. That odd zing shot through my stomach and erupted into my chest. I searched my mind for something to say, anything to fill the silence. "Do I look witchy?"

He hummed. "I'm starting to believe you are one." He stepped closer and tilted my chin up. "Did you put a spell on me, you witchy woman?"

My lips parted, but I didn't respond. I couldn't. I was trapped in whatever vortex had captured me that day in the camp. His pull. Like gravity.

His eyes drifted over my face before settling onto my mouth, and the two fingers beneath my chin twitched. He sucked another breath between his teeth and tilted his head like he was trying to relieve the tension in his neck. All the while, his dark eyes seared my mouth, burning me with the intensity of his focus.

Nobody had ever looked at me like that, not even before. Was this what it was like between a man and a woman? Was this what people did when they had time for those things? "Tex?"

His eyes met mine. "Yeah, Darlin'?"

"I've never been...kissed before." A burst of fresh warmth spread up my neck and over my whole face.

His eyes widened. "You haven't— Not even a peck?"

I shook my head. Why had I said that? Why would I tell him? I'd thought he'd been about to. I'd thought he wanted to, and I wanted that. That's what before Fern would have wanted, and on this rare day of living, I could give her that; a kiss to carry with her into the after.

Tex pulled away and scrubbed his hand over his jaw. He took a step back as if he'd retreat.

Before he could make it any further, I blurted out, "Would you?"

He froze, gaze fixed on the ground, hand still gripping his neck and expression stone. "You want me to kiss you?" He didn't come back to me, but he turned his head, the slightest of fractions, as if afraid to look at me too directly. He just stood, watching, waiting for my answer.

My cheeks grew hotter as I nodded. "I'd like to have a first kiss."

His face tightened, then his body followed suit as if he were being wound up. Hands fisted, shoulders bowed. "You deserve better than me to give you that, Darlin'."

Out of all the responses I'd expected, that hadn't been one of them. My brow furrowed. "I don't want it to be anyone else." And it was true. Who else would give this to me? Who else would make me feel this way? It wasn't like I'd proposed marriage. One kiss. That was all. One kiss to carry me into whatever lonely forever awaited me.

He gritted his teeth and spoke through them. "You're killin' me."

Oh, God. He didn't want to. I'd been wrong. A different heat engulfed me. Embarrassment. Mortification. Shame. "I'm sorry." I waved a hand and started toward the shelter. I needed to hide. I wanted to disappear and pretend I hadn't just made a complete fool of myself. "It was a stupid idea."

Tex caught my arm as I walked past. "Come here." He gave a gentle tug, pulling me back to stand before him.

My breath caught. My body buzzed. I stared up at him, letting the feel of his hand on my arm and the look in his eyes wash over me.

His hand drifted upwards, a light caress over my skin as his other lifted to cup my jaw. His palm flattened, big enough to cover the entire side of my face as he tilted my chin up and caressed my bottom lip with his thumb. "It's not a stupid idea," he murmured.

I released a shaky breath and licked my lips. "You want to?"

His eyes hooded, lips pouted, and the fires that surrounded us only seemed to encourage the shadows. They clung to his angles, making him appear even more like a man chiseled from the trees. Like nature itself. Perfectly flawed. Dangerously beautiful.

My stomach twisted into a knot as he slowly walked me backwards and slid his hands down to my waist. "Hold onto my neck."

I did, compliant, ready to learn what he knew the same way he'd asked me to show him about survival. Only, this wasn't about that. It was about living. About life.

I clung to him as he lifted and propped me on top of my shelter. It put us almost level, and instead of letting go, I draped my arms over his shoulders and licked my lips.

He whistled again, shaking his head slowly as his eyes centered on my mouth. "You're sure?"

I nodded, waiting, anxious and nervous and a little scared. "Yes."

"I don't know if I can stop at one," he said. His gaze met mine with total seriousness. "When you want me to stop, you're gonna have to be direct about it."

I nodded again.

"Close your eyes, Darlin'."

My heart thundered against my ribs, and my hands shook where they hung suspended behind his back. I did as he asked, closing my lids, taking short, quick breaths as the effort to draw in air grew more and more difficult.

Tex's thumb returned to my bottom lip and pulled it down, then disappeared to be replaced by the lightest brush of his lips. He was barely there but all consuming. Our breaths mingled, matching pace, and the night around us stilled. It was just us. Just this. The pressure of his mouth deepening. The tip of his tongue teasing mine. The deep rumble of his chest, and the feel of his hands sliding around to pull me closer.

I lost myself in him, and it was more than I could have ever imagined. It was something I had to experience before dying, just once, and the more he gave, the more I wanted. I became greedy, selfish. My arms tightened around his shoulders, fingers curled into his braids, pulling him closer and praying he wouldn't stop too soon.

But he did stop. He broke away with an angry groan and lowered me back to the ground. "I need to go."

"Why?" I touched his arm. "Did I do something wrong?" Had I been that bad? Had I asked for too much?

In a sudden move, he squeezed me hard into his chest. "Jesus Christ, Darlin'. I'm trying to do the right thing." He let me go and turned away. "I'll see you tomorrow."