CROC

The sun set, and a full moon rose. The children skipped through the shadows, buzzing with excitement. When I was Eve's size, nothing about the dark brought joy. I used to scrunch up into the corner of the loft and bury myself in blankets, my ears perked for any little sound at all.

An owl hooted, and Eve smiled up at me, eyes wide with wonder. "That was an owl."

"It was," I said. If only she'd been there to tell me that before, when something as innocent as an owl would cause my body to quake. I'd never went out at night. I hadn't spun and jumped around like Eric was now.

But watching them made me remember; that hadn't always been true.

Flashes of Pappy's dark figure filled my mind's eye. He was as tall and sturdy as the trees, catching a firefly with cupped hands. He walked over to me, and I held out a jar. Had my hands really been that small?

"There now," he whispered as he eased it inside and screwed on the lid. He knelt down, holding it up between our faces. The jar glowed and winked as the insects danced within. "Look at them. They having themselves a little fais-do-do."

Eric grabbed my hand and squeezed, pulling me back to the present. A hulking white mass lumbered through the trees. Then another appeared on the opposite side. "They're just bears wearing sheets," I soothed.

"Hey." Julia flicked my ear hard.

I hissed and gripped the spot, ducking forward to stop her from doing it again.

"Don't spoil all the fun," she scolded.

I sighed. So much fun.

Men with painted faces jumped out from behind tents, shouting things like "Boo" and "Ooga-booga." By the time we made it to the center of camp, the children had screamed a half-dozen times. And each time they did, everyone laughed like it was one big joke.

I clenched my fists, holding back the urge to put an end to all of this. It didn't feel right, but then the babies would laugh too, and no real fear filled their scent. They called "trick or treat", received their candy, then raced to the next. I eased, beginning to understand the appeal. This was fun for them.

Merle jumped from behind a tree in a leopard print top five sizes too small, purple eyeshadow, and hot pink lipstick. "Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!"

The kids screamed, and Willow burst into laughter.

Julia stormed forward and smacked his shoulder. "You better not stretch out my shirt! What in the hell are you supposed to be?"

Merle focused on the kids. "I'm the scariest thing this side of the river!" He moved as if to snatch them up and roared, "Granny Julia!"

The kids squealed as they scrambled out of his reach.

Willow leaned against a nearby tree, laughing so hard tears fell from her eyes. I smiled. Yeah, maybe it wasn't so stupid. She finally looked herself again. How could she ever think I wanted someone else? Had I not made it clear how much I wanted her? She was like the swamp; she anchored me. But unlike the swamp, I would never leave her. Wherever she went, I would follow, and no woman could ever replace her.

Julia hit Merle again. "You asshole!" She looked sternly at the kids. "It's not that scary!"

"She said scarily," Merle murmured before jumping back to avoid another slap.

We continued on, and the kids bags grew heavier. The men had gone on three different supply runs in search of treats. What little they found had been added to the stockpile with strict instructions not to be touched. Now, it filled their bags so full, Eric had a hard time carrying his.

When we approached Cecil's tent, the sound box was playing an ominous tune. Deep evil laughs, squeaking hinges, and wailing cries worked together to create a sense of foreboding. Cecil was disguised as a scarecrow, sitting in his chair with a small bowl of candy in his lap. I knew it was him by his scent, but the kids approached, fooled by the costume.

I held my breath, knowing what was coming but unable to intervene.

Eve and Eric crept forward and reached into the bowl, then Cecil jumped froward and snatched at their clothes.

They screeched so loud it startled me.

Julia and Willow laughed, and I bit my tongue, anticipating the moment this stressful night would end. After all, there was only one more tent. Tex's.

I expected something big. After all, Tex was the most invested in all of this. From the candy to the decorations to the bears and the men, he was the driving force behind it all.

But, to my surprise, Tex and his camp looked perfectly normal. He and Maurice were waiting when we approached. Tex stood from his chair and stepped forward, kneeling before the children. He dumped a handful of chocolates into each of their bags, then asked, "Are you ready?" 

"For what?" Eve whispered.

Eric looked at Eve, then nodded at Tex. "Yeah, what?"

"To meet a real life witch."

Maurice whimpered and shrunk back.

My blood ran cold; my muscles stiffened. Of course, it wasn't real. It was all pretend. . .right? But what if it wasn't? What if all of this had been one elaborate scheme so she could get to the children? What if Halloween wasn't even a thing, and everyone in camp had been placed under a spell? It made more sense than it being real.

"Maybe that's enough for tonight," I said.

The baby's faces whipped to me. "What? No! We want to see the witch!" Eve whined.

Eric bobbed his head. "Yeah! Witch!"

Willow took my hand. "Croc? It's fine." Her smile was wide, her eyes dancing. "It isn't real."

I opened my mouth to protest, then promptly closed it. Everyone was looking at me. "Right. Okay."

Tex led the way, and I couldn't help but feel like we were all slowly approaching our doom.

Maurice held back when we got too close. Out of everyone, he was the only one to understand how serious this could be. I clung to the hope that he was wrong, but, in my experience, animals made much more sense than humans.

Then I saw her, and my breath caught in my throat. She was surrounded by flames, her hair like a curtain, concealing her face. She sat on the ground, bowed over a pot of boiling plants, murmuring a strange language beneath her breath.

"Ooh, this is scary," Julia whispered.

I picked up pace, drawing closer to the children. It didn't feel right. None of this was right. I imagined Gator in the back of my mind, demanding I get away.

Then she threw her head back, revealing coal black eyes.

Eve screamed, and I snatched her up.

Willow laughed, but I didn't find it funny anymore.

The witch's eyes locked with Tex's, and he stood frozen, mesmerized, expressionless. She had him spellbound. My mouth opened, my lungs ready to demand that no one look directly at her, when she focused on her pot and chanted, 'Double, bubble, boil or I'm in trouble."

Julia snorted, and Eric laughed.

The witch's gaze snapped to his face, and her scent filled my senses. Sweet sadness and nostalgia. They were too familiar, and all at once, I realized the truth. She wasn't a witch, just a girl. And right then, her mood mimicked how I felt whenever I remembered Pappy.

"I have been waiting for the children," she said in a voice I knew wasn't hers. "I have gifts for you."

Eve wriggled to be put down, and I eased, finally understanding. As if a set of blinders had been ripped away, I noticed more. Tex wasn't spellbound. He was attracted, the same way I'd been the first time I saw Willow. Hadn't Gator asked me if I'd been placed under a spell?

I threw an arm around Willow's shoulders, smelling her hair. My favorite smell. She hugged my middle and watched as Fern scared Maurice, then bestowed good luck upon the children. I observed the lightness beneath the dark, the joy in being afraid, and the warmth that seeped from the pours of everyone around me.

This was why. This moment in time, all the effort to make it happen, was so one day the children might look around and remember. They would feel the warmth like a hug from the past and know how much they were loved.

They whined when the night was over, and I found myself thinking about next fall. What would they decide to be, and would my child be among them? Would we be here or somewhere new? Somewhere better or somewhere worse?

Would they ever experience this again?

I hated not knowing the answer. The truth was, I was still afraid of all the things I couldn't see. Terrified that Willow was right, and there was nothing I could do to stop death. Pappy hadn't been able to, and I couldn't bear to think of them alone.

"You okay?" Willow asked as we made the silent walk back to our tents.

I nodded and kissed the top of her head. "I think I like Halloween."

"You mean, you didn't get too scared?" She pinched my side playfully.

I grinned. "Only a little."

She laughed her beautiful laugh, and I knew, no matter what happened, I would do everything in my power to keep her and our babies unafraid of the dark.