Ultivert

First Impression: nice cover!

This is a really well developed story. You definitely thought this through, and spend time perfecting the writing. I like the beginning, with the background information. I also like how you have different points of views to give insight on each character, and you are great at conveying emotions, especially when your vocabulary evokes a tense and urgent atmosphere in Chapter 0. I like the action packed scenes in the story, and overall, it's very well written. There are some errors that just need to be quickly edited when you go back. For example, in the Chapter "An Earth Unified?" there is the sentence, "Third world countries fought who couldn't afford space programs fought each other..." Make sure to delete the first "fought" when you go back to edit. In Ethan King's point of view, I was a little confused about the "Rounds" that he goes over when we are given insight on his train of thought. I also thought that there was way too much description on his daily routine. At first, it was great because I got to see what kind of a person he was, but then when you kept going on, describing every single detail of his routine, I got a little bored. I also feel that the chapters are too long, in my opinion, because there is a lot of plot and just explaining a lot of things. Reading chapters that long usually bore the audience, so I would work on cutting down some paragraphs and getting to the point without phrasing the same thing in different ways. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it!

- bluecrayonlady