SuzushiiSushiHetalia

First Impression: nice cover!

I like the deep thinking that goes on in the first chapter. You have nice vocabulary, but a lot of times it seems like you just keep talking about the same thing over and over again, but in different phrasing. I'm not even sure what the point of that chapter was, because I don't get what happened and what I was supposed to learn from it. There was no background information about where this story is headed, and I'm just confused. Hopefully there will be clarification in upcoming chapters. Also, watch your verb tense because the first sentence is "My earliest memory is of walking down the street." Change "is" to "was" because the sentences after are in past tense, while that one is in present tense.

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it!

- bluecrayonlady