KatieWeasley394

First Impression: I'm excited to read another one of your stories!

Again, this story is very well written, just like your other ones. You have a nice intro, very action filled, and amazing descriptions. You have a very fluid writing style and I like how everything progresses easily. You have great character development, and I can really see who these characters are as people. I like how the drama also comes in, adding to the already tense mood of trying to stay alive. At first, I thought Charlie was a guy, but then when after reading on, I realized she is a girl. It's a great story, and you did a great job writing these chapters!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

- bluecrayonlady