Pinky-Cat

First Impression: seems scary

You definitely have intriguing chapters, and I like the use of the cliffhanger to add to the mood. I also like how you have such vivid descriptions, since it is necessary for a story like this. I'm not sure what "playing God" is, so that part was a little confusing for me. There are many grammar errors and sentences that are structured weirdly. I'm also very confused while reading this story. Everything seems to happen very abruptly, and it's like riding a roller coaster that keeps jolting forward. I suggest working on smoothing out the transitions, so it doesn't seem so abrupt and choppy.

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it :)

- bluecrayonlady