WintryAngel

First Impression: this plot is very creative and intriguing! 

I seriously can't wait to read more. I wish you had more than 2 parts posted! You have great descriptions, especially in the prologue, when we can really see how the woman feels. It also sets up a great scene for what will happen in the future of the book. I totally wasn't expecting her to be pregnant, and it wasn't abrupt. I like how it flows so nicely, and I don't feel like I'm overwhelmed with shock. You also have great characterization, which I hope will stay consistent as you progress. My only suggestion is to watch your verb tense, because you tend to switch. For example, the first sentence of the prologue is "Her cries ring out..." You stay pretty consistent in that little part, but the next paragraph is "The shaking interfered..." I would change "interfered" to "interferes," so it agrees with the present tense of your first sentence. If you decide to go with past tense throughout, then make sure you change everything so it corresponds to the past tense. Great work!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make art for one of my stories, and I will post it!

- bluecrayonlady