RainingStorms

First Impression: looks like a cool story!

Your writing style is magnificent, and everything flows nicely. I really like how you characterize each person very well, so I can really tell who they are personality wise. You also have great descriptions throughout the story, but sometimes the descriptions can get a little repetitive, which slows the story down. For example, there's a lot of repetition of the same idea in Chapter 1. I get that you are trying to get the point across and convey emotion, which you do very well, but the idea is repeated more than twice, and at that point, I get it. There's not much action in the first few chapters, but we do get insight on what Snow's lifestyle is like. I like how each Chapter you tell his age, so we are progressing though this journey of Snow's life. There are some spelling errors, but those can be fixed easily. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! I would love for you to make art for me, if you are interested, and I will post it!

- bluecrayonlady