Shady_D

First Impression: cool cover!

This is really well written, and I'm really interested to know more and read on to find out what happens to Alexander! You have a really great start, it's action filled, and you tell us the conflict in the first chapter. It's good that you don't drag out the beginning or else readers will become uninterested. Through the talk about the party, we can really get a sense of what kind of person Alex is. Overall, your characterization is pretty great, because I can imagine all the characters, and know what their personalities are like. There are some awkwardly phrased sentences, but when you go back and edit, you can fix those. Great work!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make art for any of my stories, and I will post it!

- bluecrayonlady