midnightpainter

First Impression: hmm...seems interesting

This is a really well written story. You have great descriptions, and you also started with letting the reader get to know Aubrey. The story is very realistic, and in some parts I can connect with what Aubrey feels. I like the incorporation of the blog entries, which are pretty cool. You're amazing at conveying emotions, and I can really feel what Aubrey is going through. There's also great characterization, and we get to know Aubrey on a more personal level. Since there are so many brothers, I get them confused a lot. Also, I like how you gradually add in the struggle Aubrey is going through, instead of showing it all at once. There was some humor in the story, too. There are some spelling errors, but overall great work! 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of these suggestions, ignore them :)

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- bluecrayonlady