TrillionAndAOne

First Impression: love the cover!

This is a really great start! You have great descriptions and good character development. However, you only seem to develop Destiny as a character. As you progress, I would work on developing the other characters as well. Your grammar is also really spot on! When I read this, I was a little confused at times, but I'm hoping that you will clear up everything in the future, since there are only 3 chapters up. I can definitely get a feel of what the conflict is, which is good, but some parts are just a little confusing. The story as a whole has a mysterious feel, which is pretty cool. I would also suggest to work on sentence variety, because you tend to start with "I" all the time. I do this all the time as well, so it's all good :) Overall, great work!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it! 

- bluecrayonlady