Storygirl_ROSE

First Impression: I really like how you take inspiration from Dove Cameron!

This is a really well written story, and it's very well developed. I didn't seem to get a major conflict during the story, as there were just small conflicts that happened, such as Andy and Brooklyn getting the devastating calls, etc. I like how you show each of their personalities, and it really characterizes them as a person, and you have great descriptions. However, I don't like the constant switch of point of view, because I get confused and it's really hard to keep track of who is talking. It is better to have one chapter with one girl's POV. This way, your chapters won't be so long, because right now I feel that they are too long, especially since some parts are really slow. If its slow, the reader will lose interest. There are some run on sentences and spelling errors, but those can be fixed easily. Also make sure to watch your verb tense, because sometimes you write in present and then switch to past. Great work!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinions, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy creating art, I would love for you to make art for one of my stories, and I will post it!

- bluecrayonlady