@WritingGal01

First Impression: Love the title! And the cover haha :) 

Let the review begin. (haha see what I did there?) Anyways, great job setting up a beginning with lots of description and details! I love how you don't tell us about the characters, but you show what kind of characters Hayden and Asher are through their actions: Hayden is confident, independent, and sassy, while Asher is your typical player with his cocky attitude. This leads us to the idea that this story line is definitely cliche: the player and the new girl who fall in love. Because of this cliche, many things and situations tend to be unrealistic. Don't get me wrong, I love cliches. I even wrote one myself. But in my opinion, Hayden and Asher's relationship is a little too cliche. Of course, if you like it this way, feel free to keep it the same. However, one example I found that was kind of flawed was the way Asher just springs up the idea of the game. It's very abrupt, and it seems to come out of nowhere. One suggestion would be to slowly lead into it. This would also increase the length of your chapters, if you are worried about them being too short. Lots of details and descriptions will definitely add to your story. Also, I found it kind of weird that Hayden would agree to the game. There's no reason for her to agree to Asher's game. If there is a reason, you should show it: let the reader know why Hayden agreed to this game. Other than that, this story is impressive! Congratulations on completing it :) 

Remember that these suggestions are my opinion, and this is your story, so you should write it the way you want to. If you don't agree with these suggestions, then ignore them :) 

- bluecrayonlady