gabberie

First Impression: Love the cover!

This is a really cool story! I really like the plot idea of it, especially since it's very unique. Since there's only one chapter, the prologue, my only suggestion is to watch your verb tense because you tend to switch from present to past when talking about the same thing. For example, the first sentence, "my words echo throughout the palace, but still nobody answered." The word "echo" is present tense, and the word "answered" is past, so I would edit the sentence to "my words echo throughout the palace, but still nobody answers." There are more sentences in the chapter that also need to be fixed. Great beginning! 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love it if you make art for one of my stories, and I will post it! DM if you have any questions :)

- bluecrayonlady