MarizaHaris

First Impression: Seems cool!

Let's start with the "prologue." I'm kind of confused on whether the file is already opened or if it is just a warning posted somewhere about this file. If it is already opened and the warning comes up, then you should delete "If this CLASSIFIED file is found in your possession..." The reason why I would suggest this is because the file is already in the person's possession, so there's no use saying "if." I would change it to "If you are caught with this CLASSIFIED file..." because I think it conveys what you want to say more clearly. Having the original sentence makes it seem like it is just a warning posted somewhere and the file isn't opened. 

Moving on to the first chapter. You have amazing descriptions in this chapter, and I can imagine everything in my head. I also love how you start out strong, with a death that was 9 years earlier, to really interest the reader and make us want to keep reading on. There are some minor spelling mistakes in this chapter. For example, "sooth" should be changed to "soothe." Also, "For all of their shakes!" doesn't make sense. I think you mean to say "sakes" ? When you say "the kid was different," what do you mean? The word "different" can have different meanings and connotations, so I think you should either specify more clearly, or use a different word. 

For the second chapter, I like the use of the different point of views, so we can know the thoughts of both main characters in the story. You also have great imagery in this chapter as well, and you are great at conveying emotions. One thing I picked up on, not only in this chapter, is your wide range of vocabulary. You choose the best words to convey what you are trying to say, and it fits the story. I also like how you give small snippets of their past, and how it shaped them to who they are today. Nice cliffhanger as well! However, I feel that one part has an awkward/choppy feel to it. From "or even bullying the geeks..." to "In most schools when you hear geek..." it is a little weird. Everything above "or even bullying the geeks..." just doesn't really flow into "In most schools..." I would find a way to make it smoother, because right now it feels off. Also, make sure to watch your verb tense because that can also be a cause of the choppiness in a story. 

The third chapter is really good. I really like how you have impressive insight on what goes through Skyler's brain. It really brings out the character of who she is. I really enjoyed this chapter, and it is my favorite out of the three. Since this is just the beginning of the story, I'm looking forward to seeing where this story will go!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so don't feel discouraged! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or even give me a shoutout! If you enjoy art, I would love if you made art for one of my stories, and I will even post it!

- bluecrayonlady