gossip_gal11

First Impression: Can't wait to read this one!

This is a really well-written story as well! It has a great start, with the perfect amount of humor and action. I like the incorporation of French in the early chapters, to really get us into the French feel. I absolutely love the humor and teasing/comebacks that happen between Lisa and Robert. You're really great at conveying emotions, and I can actually feel what Lisa is feeling throughout the summer. The first kiss they had was so adorable! Your writing style is amazing, and your chapters always make me want to read on. Lisa and Robert have a really cute relationship, because it doesn't progress too fast or too slow. I mean, they went on 60+ dates!! I also think you have nice song choices, although I think Lisa gets angry a little too easily. But if that's how you want to shape her as a character, then that's awesome, because you have characterization! I love the action filled ending that is adorable and cliche. I would love to see more description and characterization of the two brothers. SHOW us how Gregory and Nathan are different, not just tell us one is a player and one is a nerd. I'm also a little confused in the 1st chapter; are they on the plane or at home? Also, make sure to watch your verb tense and spelling! Great work :)

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them! 

Payment: completed :)

- bluecrayonlady