SweetSurprise123

First Impression: great cover!

At first, when I read the summary, I was confused on what the story was going to be about. For the first few chapters, I was still confused. I knew that it had to do with a magical world and everything, but I was just confused. When you gave me a more clear explanation in later chapters, I was able to understand. I just want to mention that you have a really wild imagination! And I mean that in a nice way; it's great to imagine so magically. You have great details, especially a lot of visual and auditory imagery. It definitely gives the story the magical feeling, and with the details, the reader can connect with the characters and actually imagine being there. For example, when you described Theo's heart being stabbed, I could feel the pain in my own heart. This is definitely a unique story plot, one that I've never read before. I mean, a giant teddy bear screaming, "Feed me" isn't very common! You have great vocabulary, and it really enhances the story. I also love how Theo kind of represents the reader, because when he first arrives, he's confused, just like the reader. So the reader and Theo both go on the adventure to find out more information, and it brings out a connection. You have great character descriptions, especially since you really make each characters' personalities different and vivid. I love your uses of cliffhangers, it really keeps me on the edge of my seat! Great work, and hope to see you continuing the story!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want to! If you don't agree with any of these suggestions, feel free to ignore them :)

- bluecrayonlady