sparrowed

First Impression: Love the cover! It adds to the whole magical feel of the book :)

I just have to start off by complimenting your writing, because I was captivated the whole time I was reading. I love your beginning: you start off strong, showing Winter's vivid, strong, and outgoing personality, and then you gradually bring in the whole mysterious magical part. I love how you manage to capture my attention each chapter, and I'm always intrigued to read on. You have great details; they are probably the best part of the story, because those are what allow me to really imagine each situation in my head, especially with a fairy tale kind of story. Your writing style is amazing, because everything flows so nicely. Even when you aren't writing about Winter and Enzo trying to solve the mystery, I'm still on the edge of my seat because I'm so captivated by the relationship between Winter and Enzo. The whole story has a mysterious and intriguing feel to it, and I love that. I'm also in love with the story plot, because it is so imaginative and creative! You have great character descriptions, and I feel like I know both of them really well. I especially love Winter and Enzo's fighting all the time, especially with their comebacks! They're hilarious! This is a great plot, and I really hope you continue writing and finish this story, because if this were a published novel, I would definitely buy it! To be honest, I couldn't really find anything negative that stood out to me. Do you edit your chapters before posting them? Amazing job!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

- bluecrayonlady