steph10111

First Impression: Cover is pretty cool! I thought it was going to be a scary story ahaha :P 

Your writing style is amazing. I read in one of your author's notes that you are only 13? It's incredible that you can write so well! You have great details and great imagery, and I can actually imagine everything and picture it in my mind. Also, I don't know if you mean for it to be funny, but some parts of the story are very humorous, especially Sky's comebacks. Seriously, how do you come up with them? You're a great writer, and I love how everything flows very nicely, especially when you added in the character description. Some stories I read, the character description is placed in an awkward part of the story, but for your story, it flows nicely and I can follow everything. I love the fact that you use cliffhangers! It creates this suspense and has the reader on the edge of their seat, wanting to read more. Definitely continue having those! I thoroughly enjoyed this story, because your characters have depth. For example, Josh is known as the player, who sleeps around, but then Sky sees this part of him inside, and she believes that he has a heart under the bad boy facade. One major thing I would watch out for is your spelling, because there are multiple times where the spelling is wrong. But no worries, that can be fixed easily when you go back and edit! Also, make sure you watch your verb tense. For example, at the beginning of the book, you write "seeing all that blood made me..." This is in past tense. The next sentence is in present tense. "I don't understand what's happening." I would recommend staying in one tense throughout unless you are talking about a situation in the past. Finally, what I found a little weird was that Sky talks about her parents' deaths and her aunt's death easily, and she doesn't get as emotional. For someone who lost her aunt 2 weeks ago, she seems fairly happy. In my opinion, I think she would be more sad than that. Overall, great job on this story! I seriously can't wait to read more!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be. If you don't agree with any of these suggestions, then ignore them :) 

- bluecrayonlady