@bailal1

First impression: Wow! There's a horse and a rainbow on the cover! 

This is a very well written story! I really love how you have a nice writing style, especially since it is easy to follow and I can understand everything. I rarely read Fantasy novels because I usually believe they are too unrealistic or just too "fake" for my taste in book, but your story really captured my interest. I never thought I would  enjoy the idea of a horse having magical powers. Your first few chapters were very descriptive, with a lot of visual imagery. It's nice how you describe Syra as a contrast to the personality of her uncle. This really sets the mood for any conflict between those two. In terms of the imagery, my favorite line was "nature's candy exploding over her tongue with its tart flavor," because I could imagine the taste of those berries. 

In the first few chapters, I would've liked to see more character description of Syra. For example, her personality or who she is as a character. You did a really great job giving background information about her family and her current situation, but there isn't much about what kind of person she is. Is she loyal, brave, determined? You could show this through the actions of Syra. Based on her abrupt decision to run away, I got the idea that she's pretty impulsive, although she's been suffering for about 11 years. Usually, it would take careful planning or weeks of getting ready before someone runs away from home. Also, the story kind of moves too fast after she runs away. She finds the horse, meets the guy, and all of a sudden finds out that she can be a Guardian. There are also some spelling and grammar errors, but those are an easy fix. 

Overall, you did an outstanding job in creating such vivid imagery for the reader and building a stong plot. Great job! 

Remember that all these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so if you don't like these suggestions, then by all means, ignore them :) 

- bluecrayonlady