Author: laniegr
Genre: teen fiction

What I liked:

Starts with a little drama at the restaurant, but it has the potential to be a lot more dramatic if the chapters were longer and if I felt the emotions from both the MC and her boyfriend.

What I didn't like:

There was barely any depth into how she feels after her boyfriend of four years breaks up with her in the first chapter, and because of this, I found it quite boring to read. I didn't feel anything. After a day, she's cool with broken up with a guy she expected to to be proposed to by and is ready to move on that quickly?

As well as the chapters being incredibly short, so short I finished all 9 chapters in under 15 minutes, there was an issue with capitalisation and speech; there shouldn't be a capital letter after speech marks if what's in the speech marks didn't end i.e. with a full stop (period), question mark or exclamation mark. The same goes if the words outside the speech marks didn't end. So instead of:

"Please don't cry," He said, "You're great, all a guy could ask for..."

It should be:

"Please don't cry," he said. "You're great, all a guy could ask for..."

A lot of was said was described as being 'asked' or 'said' or 'replied', so I think if you add more variation to the ways people speak, which also be done by having characters expressing more emotion, your story will be much better.

Another thing I noticed was that the MC's younger sister, Abby, became Addy in chapter 9?

Overall I'll give this a 4/10, it just seems like a generic Wattpad teen-fic at the moment. It wasn't very entertaining.