Before I begin this review, I would like to mention that I know I have done a review for Absolutely_Positive before for her story It's Callie, and I thought that in the spirit of Valentine's Day, it would be fun to redo it. It was done before I truly knew how to review stories correctly, so I wanted to do it again. And, this story is also one of my favourite OHSHC fanfics! I hope you enjoy this review as much as I did writing it! Happy Valentine's Day!

~ Happyritas <OOO

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#7.5 -- Absolutely_Positive

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GENRE:

Fanfiction; Anime; Yaoi

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TITLE:

It's Callie

I love this title because it really brings off the 'excuse me, princess' vibe. As if, someone had insulted you, and you're irritatingly correcting them. As if to say, "it's Callie, to you, sir," and it makes me laugh every time I think about it.

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STORY DESCRIPTION:

"Love comes in many packages; Callie's just comes in the form of hair extensions and lip gloss.

•  •  •

Connor Seville isn't like other boys his age.

Gifted with a pretty face, he was the center of attention - for bullies. In Japan it's the same - but now it's criminals.

After joining the Foreign Exchange Program from his school, Connor is sent on a journey to Japan. He's pulled aside by a model's manager and asked to make a choice - act as a double for famous Chou Tanaki, or be used as a pincushion for pocket knives.

Join Connor during his obstacles of trying to protect his family, friends, and juggling his double lives.

Sometimes the best way to survive is to keep your pretty mouth shut.

•  •  •

"I never thought it would have turned out this way," I murmured softly in his ear. He chuckled, his breath caressing my face.

"Me neither. But I'm not so sure I don't like how it ended up."

I laughed, and hugged myself tighter to his warm body. How I wished I could stay there forever, and just hold him close to me."

Let's go into your hook, line and sinker.

Your hook: "Love comes in many packages; Callie's just comes in the form of hair extensions and lip gloss. . . Connor Seville isn't like other boys his age."

In my years of reading and writing, I think this hook is probably one of the best ones I have seen. As I have stated before, you hook is what you need in order to literally 'hook' readers into your story. I loved how immediately you go into the different definition of love. Not romantic love, the usual on you see on this heart shaped holiday, but more material love. For example, I love writing and art, those are the things that makes me. . . me, but I cannot exactly fall in love ― romantically ― with those two things simply because they aren't real, in a sense. I can see it and feel it, but I can't exactly make love to it (and trying would be kind of weird. . .).

In your hook, Callie has found their material love. Their love comes in hair extension and lip gloss. Every generic anime girl loves their makeup and getting dressy in mirrors and putting their hair up with pink ribbon ponytails while simultaneously saving the world from witches and. . . no wait, that's Madoka Magica. But you get what I mean, who doesn't like to treat themselves every now and then.

I mean, unless you are a boy, which is exactly the reason why I was hooked into this story!

Next, your line: "Gifted with a pretty face, he was the center of attention - for bullies. In Japan it's the same - but now it's criminals.

After joining the Foreign Exchange Program from his school, Connor is sent on a journey to Japan. He's pulled aside by a model's manager and asked to make a choice - act as a double for famous Chou Tanaki, or be used as a pincushion for pocket knives.

Join Connor during his obstacles of trying to protect his family, friends, and juggling his double lives.

Sometimes the best way to survive is to keep your pretty mouth shut."

What intrigued me about your line was his relationship with people around him. First he's bullied by classmates, then he's bullied by criminals. It's almost comical, had it not been so serious.

As a writer, and a gamer at heart, I sometimes see stories as quests from games like Legend of Zelda. You have a character, a mission, a friend, and bumps along the way. It's just how I see and process stories, and sometimes even real life, so as I am rereading this descriptions, these things come to life for me. Connor, your questor. Being a double for a model, his mission. Chou Tanaki, the unlikely ally. And finally, his double, Callie, being the major bump along the way. As I read it, I feel like the story is pulling me along like, 'yes, Happyritas, keep reading this summary. Soon, very soon, you will be binge-reading~...' and there's nothing I can do about it.

This story is so special to me because I feel like I can connect with your character. Out of all the hundreds of maybe thousands of anime fanfictions that I have read, this story, It's Callie, spoke to me the most. Not only could I connect with the nostalgia of OHSHC being my first anime that I watched, but also I could connect with Connor, or Callie, and the issues he faces, those being sometimes the same issues I face as a pansexual african-american girl in america ― four things that do not make a healthy combination at this time period. These things that Connor deals with helps me deal with the things that I was, and still am, facing.

Finally, your sinker: "'I never thought it would have turned out this way,' I murmured softly in his ear. He chuckled, his breath caressing my face.

'Me neither. But I'm not so sure I don't like how it ended up.'

I laughed, and hugged myself tighter to his warm body. How I wished I could stay there forever, and just hold him close to me."

Oh, this story never ceases to pull at my heartstrings (haha, because it's Valentine's day). I love how you end this this way. It's so romantic and squishy which is weird how I like it since I hate romantic and squishy stuff ― Valentine's Day is really only good for the half off candy Target and Wal-Mart they sell that weekend ― but I do and it's so cute~!

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WRITING:

I have said it many, many times before, your writing is magnificent! I cannot even put into words how mesmerising your writing is. As soon as you click on the story, after reading such a happy and romantic summary, you get hit with, "Gay. A word to describe the lesser. Fag. A demeaning hurtful term used to pierce the hearts of those stranger than others. Disgusting. Something that God should smite; should rid the world of. Poof. Fairy. Queer. Gross. Dead. " Damn, there goes my happy mood.

As you go through the story, you can see just how dark it becomes. A story about a self conscious, hormonal teenager trying to please everyone? It wears down on the person to the point where anyone if broken enough to be vulnerable to whatever enemies might try to come and destroy him.

As much as I would love to go into how Connor's actual story, I fear that if I do, I would give away key points and therefore spoil it, unfortunately.

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PLOT HOLES:

- Where did he get the money to go overseas so suddenly? And, was his program one of the you stay with a family ones, or did they stay in a rental home or something?

- Did Connor already know Japanese or was their a language barrier between them?

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GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AND SPELLING:

You were pretty good on language and spelling, to the point where I am ― once again ― impressed. Your writing flows so nicely, it beautiful.

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CHARACTER ORIGINALITY:

Oh Connor, my small, gay bean. He's such and adorable and likeable character. You can see how much he cares about his family and friends based on how he treats his siblings and his close friends, like Jade. I also love the way he treats his younger sister, as the middle child of seven, I can wholeheartedly agree that it is extremely realistic.

I also love his issues. They seem so real, to the point where you also care deeply for him and his sanity. He wants to please everyone and doesn't realize the harm it's bringing himself. He's such a naïve boy, and he's impressional ― I dare say gullible ― to the point where it brings his own demise, but I'm not going to go into that too much. Spoilers.

I adore Connor's story, his background, and everything he stands for. His life is almost like playing a highly realistic version of a Diner Dash game. As you are serving your customers, the character you're playing starts to get slower and more worn down as the day progresses, while simultaneously, the orders start getting harder and the customers more aggressive. They don't realize how the character is extremely exhausted, or maybe they do, but don't care.

I think of Connor as the playable character in the video game, and the customers his friends and family. They ask things of him that are almost impossible, until they get to the point where he just. . . can't. He stops, he gives up, ends it all, and hopes for the worse. He feels like he's failed everyone and because of his failure, no one can be happy.

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EXTRA TIP(S):

Give this story, and yourself, a more credit. This story is, was, and will always be an amazing story and I will treasure it close to my heart. You, my friend, have created the masterpiece of a story I have tried to do for years now. Don't take it for granted. You are an amazing writing and you never cease to blow my mind with what stories you are able to create. I love it, and I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

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RECOMMENDATION LEVEL:

10/10. Would love to recommend.