T-Lucia

First Impression: awesome cover

You have amazing imagery and vocabulary, which really assists the intense start where you convey a lot of emotion. Great job in painting each scene with a tense or dark mood. I would love to see more description of setting, of where they are, what it's like in their world. I can tell what kind of character Cassie is, and Phelan, which is great. I would suggest to just go back over your work to do some minimal editing because there are some small mistakes. I also think that you can combine chapters one and two because they seem to be related and chapter two is like a continuation of chapter one. I also thought that from chapters one to three, there wasn't much action, and I would love to see the story pick up before chapter 3 is over, so you don't bore your readers. I also think you should tell us what exactly happened to Michael because it seems foolish that Cassie is reacting this way when we don't know the full story. It makes her seem like a weak character. I liked the plot twist in chapters 4 and 5. Great work!

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories! 

Lastly, please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars) Be honest, it will help me! Thanks :)

- bluecrayonlady