Hello BPB,

I missed you.

And I constantly dream of you. Faceless with good intentions.

This might be a long rant but I just wanted to let out everything.

I will graduate from junior high school in just a few months but I've never experienced anything close to romance. Almost all of my friends had either boyfriends, flings, or just past experience but I had none.

The closest to a romantic interaction that I had was 5-second eye contact. I feel so hopeless.

A lot of boys (and even some girls) admire my looks, personality, confidence, intelligence, and all. But after they told me they like me, they'll just proceed to their own lives, expecting that I'll do the first move even if they were the ones who confessed their feelings. 

Am I not worth the risk?

I've always loved the leading man's point of view in every story that I read because they explained in detail how they fell in love with the girl and how they are willing to fight against the world just to be with her. 

Can't I have that too, Book-Perfect Boy?

My standards are high because of all the bastards that played my heart but all I wanted was a good guy... All I wanted was someone who'll see me as their world but still know their boundaries. Someone who is smart enough to be a feminist and a politically-aware person. Someone who will love God more than me. 

Are my expectations really unreachable? Or maybe there is something wrong with me? I really don't know now.

Never been kissed, never hugged, or held hands with the opposite sex. I hate this feeling. I know that I am too good to be single. I know my capabilities. But why? Am I too closed off? Am I not approachable?

Do I scare good men away?

Goodbye, maybe you just really exist in books. You in real life... will just be my wildest dreams.

Wishing,

Liz