"Choose, kid." The man said, "It's only win or lose. You win, you'll be a slave. You lose, parents will die."

My tears never stopped falling. It cascaded down my cheeks and fell down to the floor. How I wished I threw myself away like I was just replaceable and disposable. I wish I didn't went to that address. I wish I told the officers and cried alone in my room, waiting for my parents to return home, either dead or alive.

I wish I didn't accept that match.

But I accepted it and it was too late.

The man didn't notice that there was a mirror behind him. Even with my tear-fogged eyes, I can see what he has on his card. Well, I pretended I was crying so much so that he wouldn't see that I'll cheat.

Since I was a mere nine-year old kid, they made the game simple for me. The cards were just paper which holds a certain picture of an animal.

It was pretty easy. The one whose card holds a picture of a greater predator is the winner. If I had a rabbit and he had a tiger, I would lose the round and he would win.

I gazed down on my three cards. A python. A hyena. A parrot. So far, I have the greater chance of winning or so I thought. If I won, I would be a slave. Forever. I wouldn't want that. I wanted to be free. Everyone wants to be free.

The man ordered his underlings to take away the gag from my parents' lips so that they could say their 'warm words of courage' to me.

"Mikasa!" Mother cried out, "Just run!"

"Go!" Dad added, "Go before it's too late!"

I knew that what I'll do will damn my life forever but...

I wanted to lose so badly.

In this game, my opponent is all win and I'm all lose even if I'll win. There was no other option.

"Ready, kid?" The man asked me.

I nodded in reply.

Forget the mirror. I told myself, I'm sure the dealer gave him the stronger animals so that he'll win. Fine. I'll give it to them.

"Ready?" The dealer said, "This gamble will only have two rounds so choose your two cards wisely from your deck."

The man looked smug. I'm sure that he thinks he will win those two rounds and have me as his slave but I will not let that happen.

I heard my mother whimper in fear and I heard Father mumble something like a prayer.

A few minutes passed and the dealer pressed on us to show our cards. The man showed his first, it was a hyena.

I giggled and showed my card, "It's funny how we both got hyenas."

The dealer looked a bit shocked and continued, "Hyenas are cannibals therefore for this round, its a draw."

The man smiled at me and it wasn't even fake, "You're actually good, kid."

"Thank you."

The second round came and this time, I lost. More like I intended to lose.

"Oh?" The man mused, "I actually thought you were good. What's this? Why did you lose?"

"Because I chose to lose."

I glanced back at my parents who were struck with shock. Mother's face were flooded with tears and Father looked like his heart was crushed with an anvil. But even if they both looked they looked anguished, I didn't feel any guilt. I didn't feel anything at all. I didn't feel any guilt. I wasn't guilty of what I did. At least when I was a child.

"It's not what you think, Mikasa..." I heard Mom whimper.

"Aw," The man faked sympathy, "Poor girl will get her parents murdered. Are you sure you won't cry when they die?"

"No." I answered, "They encountered this trouble because they made too many debts. It's not my fault."

"Mikasa!" Mother insisted, "It's not it! You don't understand! Mikasa, please."

"Just run away, dear!" Father added, "Run away!"

I nodded at the man, giving him my permission to kill them. I didn't know before why I permitted him to kill my parents. I guess I was too shocked to know that they were full of debts when they told me that we were living a decent life, with no debts too big to pay. That day, I was really angry and I felt betrayed because it was as if they lied to me.

Another man pulled a knife from his pocket and stabbed Father in the stomach. Father made a gurgling sound and coughed out some blood. Blood were trickling from his lips, both his eyes were wider than the ocean. He tried to say something but he just looked terrified and froze. And he was dead and he fell from his chair with a thud.

Mother cried something out to Father but she just ended up choking in her own sobs and misery. Her tears doubled and fell down to her cheeks like a waterfall bowing down to gravity. My eyes also formed their own waterfall. My heart was squished about Father's death. My memories of him came flooding in, poisoning me with guilt and longing.

"PAPA!" I screamed and covered my ears with no apparent reason why I did cover my ears. Guess its just some cliché. "Papa, no! No! NO!"

"But, dear Mikasa," My shit of a gambling opponent began, "You chose this, right?" He stood and walked to my direction and inched closer to my covered ears and whispered, "There's no going back, my dearest."

I felt his fingers stroke my hair and it made me shiver in fear. Despite my hands covering my ears, I heard every word he said. Every cell, blood vessel, and organ wanted to self-destruct so badly so that I'll perish from this cruelty I've embraced.

"Kill the woman,"The man ordered to his subordinates.

The follower nodded, grabbing an ax leaning on the wall of the far side of the room. He raised his weapon, ready to strike my mother anywhere.

I screamed desperately and ran to him, pulling his arm away.

"No!" I shrieked, "No! Don't do it. Please! I beg you!"

The man ignored my pleas and continued in advancing to get rid of my hopeless mother. I was powerless. I was nothing. I was merely a child who played with strangers and paid everything in exchange for my freedom. He threw me away like the useless rag doll I really was. I fell to the ground with a loud thud, the wooden planks that served as the floor grazed my limbs. I looked back at Mother to see what they had done to her and I saw the first gruesome death I've seen in my life.

The ax slashed my mother's neck so nicely that blood oozed crazily from the wound. She started to shake and fell from her chair and displayed her lifeless body in a very creative and grotesque manner. I screamed so much until my screams became a natural background music to this one episode of my life.

I cried and crawled my way near my mother. I picked her broken and bloody form and cradled her in my arms.

The man behind all this just laughed like every villain would do. He was so astonished by his handiwork and admired the scene leisurely.

That's when the cops arrived.

They took the men away even if they insisted that I was the one who murdered my parents. I did murder them, indirectly.

The cops dragged them out, leaving me with dead corpses.

I dragged Mother's lifeless body to Father's direction. I laid them down to the floor side by side.

I cupped Father's drained cheeks, "Ich leibe dich, Papa. Bitte verzeih mir."

I turned to Mother and clasped her hand, "Daisuki, Mama. Gomen'nasai."

My tears began to fall again, "Gomen'nasai!" I cried and clenched my fists, hoping my nails will dig on my palms and bleed. I'm a traitor. I'm the worst child in this world. They raised me happily and loved me unconditionally and I gave them this, their gruesome demises. I'm such a terrible person. I'm such a terrible child.

More tears spilled from my eyes, "I'm sorry!" I shouldn't act like this, I've caused this in the first place. A monster like me shouldn't mourn over something I've killed, right? Monsters don't cry but I... I just can't stop my tears. "I'm sorry." I sniffed, wiping my dripping nose.

And the cops took me away.

HEY EVERYONE! YA BOI TOBI HERE WITH A FIC THAT'LL RUIN YOUR LIVES! HAHAHAHAHAH!

lel. Anyway, I am proud to give you a cliffhanger because I don't care about your feelings...

Nvm, I'm sorry.

Those Japanese and German phrases were all thanks to Google Translate(although I know its a pain sometimes) and I'm just hoping it was correct. Hoepfuly. You go search what it means cos im lazy.

Okay, hope you liked it.