Horrible.

I felt horrible after the appointment.

It was as if tendrils of whatsoever-that's-creepy made its way to my heart, stomach, and brain, gripping it with such intensity that it wanted to self destruct. I want to self destruct, not in a painful way though which is unavailable since all self destructs are full of pain. 

Not only that I had to reveal the things in my past, I had them stamped so fresh in my brain as of the moment. Everything that day replayed in my mind so clearly like a movie I've memorized after watching it for hundreds, thousands, millions of times.

Mom's cold, lying and bloodied body. The huge open, bleeding wound on her neck. Dad died too easily(yes, I know that was harsh but that was the truth.). He couldn't fight against those men. He was too shocked after he was stabbed, maybe that's why he froze and died. It was my fault. I lost. I lost to a damn gamble that costs the lives of my parents. As I remembered, they had a huge debt and they couldn't pay so they were captured and those sickos(their captors) left a yellow sticky note on the fridge that said: WANT UR 'RENTS BACK? and insert some address of somewhere I couldn't remember anymore. 

I shook my head, hoping that if I shook it enough, the thoughts will be shaken off but they still clung to me as if they were a bunch of koalas clinging to a poor tree in which I was the poor tree. My tears began to drop and it's embarrassing. Trying to stop your tears while walking in a busy mall is embarrassing.

I stopped strolling and wiped my cheeks and eyelids. I felt some people's stare gluing on me as my tears fell endlessly and I was wiping it endlessly too. That's when I felt a pair of warm hands on my shoulders, telling me through body language that it's okay but when I looked up to see who it was, there was no one.

I was merely hallucinating. My mind wanted attention that it even created an illusion to comfort itself. Thanks, brain. Really but you had one job but you made me feel worse. You had but one job! 

I inhaled deeply and wiped the tears from my eyes. I am sure that my eyes were glassy but I tried my best to look happy. I patted my cheeks and did a fake smile. 

I'm going to okay. I'm going to be okay. My mind chanted but no, I'm pretty sure I'll never be okay. I'm not okay. (MCR, anyone?)

I walked to the parking lot to find my scooter. I paced back and forth for a couple of minutes before I found my sweetheart. When I found her, I jogged towards it and started the engine and revved away. I stopped before I went out of the parking and fumbled for my helmet (I can't believe I forgot, I would've been arrested) which was encased by a silver box behind me. I strapped it to my head as quickly as I could and continued my drive home.

My scooter was pretty. It was cerulean. The metallic version. Eren painted it for me. It's original color was white but since we decided it was too ugly and impractical, Eren painted it for me. My black helmet was all black, not metallic but matte black with a sticker stuck to its rear end that depicted Patrick the Star from Spongebob. 

Okay, I know you'll say, "Hey! But you walked on the way to your psychologist! Now, you have your scooter but you didn't ride it on the way to the doctor! What's your problem?". 

Yeah, what's your problem too? 

I'll explain, okay? 

First off, there some people in my school who know my number plate. If they see my scooter on parked in front of that building, they'll know I'm there and then a flood of gossip with flood through the campus worse than Yolanda and Irma. 

So yeah. I parked my scooter in the parking lot of a nearby mall and walked my way to the doctor, that way, it'll be more safer. Probably. 

The drive for home was long and boring. My eyes struggled to keep awake since the cold was chilly and it made me want to sleep. I tried my best to be awake for napping for fifteen seconds while driving means certain death. I bit my tongue and pinched my forearm. I wiggled my toes and cracked my neck. When the signal was red and I was brought to a stop, I flicked my forehead. 

At least, I felt a bit awake when the signal transformed to green.

My house? Mi kasa? Okay, shit, bad pun.

Nah, more like my family's house. It's a bungalow house. Walls painted with cream and roofs colored with orange. I parked my scooter in the garage, which was huge enough to park two vehicles, a small vehicle and a medium to large vehicle.

It was cloudy so it was kind of hard to determine time by the sun but I'm pretty sure it's early afternoon.

I tucked my keys in my pocket and went to the front door. But when I was about to open it, someone else opened it first. It was a stranger. He didn't see me right away for he was still talking to someone inside. I froze. I didn't know what to do, maybe they murdered someone inside my house and are joking about it. My hands started to shake. I was very ready to tackle this tall blonde dude and snap his neck and advance to kill his companion. I readied my stance and that's when he turned and saw me. We were just a few inches apart and it was kind of awkward.

He backed away and said, "Sorry."

It was just Erwin. Levi's friend. He was probably paying Levi a visit or something.

Behind him, I heard Levi protest, "Oi, Erwin. Are you trying to squish me with your rear end?"

I sighed in relief. Everyone inside is safe, the strangers were just Levi's friends. 

I sidestepped to avoid Erwin who was falling out of balance. I didn't catch him. He's too heavy. I turned to see Levi positioned like he just kicked Erwin out. Erwin fell to the ground with a thud and Levi simply rolled his eyes.

"Heavy douchebag." Levi said and walked down and poked Erwin's back using his foot, "Tell me, is your nose broken?"

Erwin just grunted in reply. No one knew what it meant. 

Levi turned to me, "Welcome home, baby cousin."

I nodded. It was always like this. He would greet me like that but with a dead voice and a blank face. 

Erwin finally sat up, pinching the bridge of his nose. Levi sat beside him and elbowed his side, giving him even more injuries.

Idiot Levi.

"Oh!" I heard a high-pitched voice coming out from the house, "Must be your baby cousin, huh, Levi?"

I peered to Hanji, the 'most motherfucking annoying friend you can ever get' or that's what Levi said but to me, she's great. 

"Hello, Hanji." I greeted the brunette and she gave me a beautiful smile in return.

"Eren's upstairs." Hanji pointed to the door as if it was really the upstairs, "I don't get it why he hides when we're here."

I laughed a bit and excused myself to talk to my exasperated brother. I heard Erwin and Hanji's voices fading away and I heard the door shut behind me as I climbed the stairs. 

"Mikasa." Levi called.

I turned to his direction, "What?"

He sat down on a couch which was facing the stairs, thus facing me. 

"How did it go?"

My shoulders felt heavy and I sat down on the stairs. 

"Okay and not okay." I continued, setting my sweaty palms on my thighs, "Okay that I'll be getting better and not okay because Mom and Dad's deaths were replayed so vibrantly in my brain."

"Just try to think straight and don't gamble ever again." Levi said sternly, "I don't want you to be a criminal. I don't want you to be a maniac. I don't want you to be called a-"

"-Kakegurui." Eren butted in. He was on the top step but I'm sure he heard our entire conversation. He raced down the stairs and stopped on the step where I sat and he sat beside me.

"Exactly." Levi said, "But if you ever cut me off again, Eren, I swear I'm going to send your sorry ass flying to Macau."

"No!" Eren protested, "I don't like to be on Macau right now cos my parents and uncle are there!"

Levi rolled his eyes, stood and walked towards the kitchen. Guess he's making tea or dinner. 

My parents and Uncle Kenny weren't around for they went to Macau so they left Levi to take care of me and Eren. 

"You okay?" Eren cupped my face with his hands, "Nah, you're not."

"Yeah." 

Eren wrapped his arms around me, "C'mon, cheer up small bean."

"Yeah."

Eren's eyebrows knit together. He kind of looked angry.

A fist landed on my head. Hard.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed, "What the hell, Eren?"

"WOULD YOU STOP ACTING SO EMOTIONLESS?" Eren roared, "I know you're strong! Mikasa's strong! You're strong."

A tear fell down my cheek, not from his 'inspiring' speech but because of the pain his fist made.

"O-Okay."

Eren smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. His face looked so friendly but I wanted to smash it so badly the same way Hulk does it to Loki.

"Brats," Levi called from the kitchen, "It's dinner time, get yourselves fat and mentally full."

"But it's still two thirty!" Eren screamed, "Two thirty's for snacks! Snacks!"

"Don't eat and starve." Levi said simply and gestured to me to follow him, "Let's eat, Mimi."

I nodded, walked down the stairs and went to the kitchen to join Levi on dinner. 

HEHEHE. 

I know, I know but next chappie's probly gonna...nvm forget that dats spoilers.

BYE