As anticipated, Carla and Grisha along with Kenny barged in and stabbed me with too many inquiries that I didn't want to answer. Nor I had the courage to answer. I was forced to go back to my psychologist and here I am, sitting here with my ass hurting because the chair I sat on wasn't really that comfortable. 

Dr. Pixis was still bald as ever, he sat across me, hands pressed on the table as if waiting for a response. Well, he was waiting for my response and since I'm so shitty, I'm not saying anything. 

He sighed deeply, "Well if you don't want to talk about it, then I advice you to make a journal about your feelings hidden in the darkest part of your mind. This session is over, Ms. Mikasa."

I blinked and looked at a wall clock that was suspended on the wall just above his head. It was 10:30, meaning I wasted forty minutes by just dodging questions and staying silent. I can't believe I wasted my family's bucks just for me to write a diary about myself.

"Oh," I finally stated, "Okay."

He nodded and I stood and left the place.

The winter was biting on to everything. Freezing the asphalt streets, making it slippery and dangerous. Thick and white snow lay on any surface facing the endless sky. I was wrapped in two coats, knee socks, leggings, a pair of jeans, ear muffs and three scarves. I started my bike and drove away from that horrible place. 

I arrived at home, which looked gloomier than ever. Its orange tint looked dead in winter. It was like winter made everything so sad, so dark, so gloomy. My keys produced a cheerful sound as I twisted the door knob open. I went in and proceeded to the stairs so that I can lock myself in my room. 

"Mikasa," Auntie Carla said, stopping me from climbing the stairs, "Welcome home. How did it go?"

I looked at her beautiful light brown eyes, pleading me to be honest and obedient. Oh, Auntie. 

I gulped and answered in a small voice, "Auntie, you shouldn't be wasting big amounts for my mental health."

Carla-slash-Auntie didn't look that happy, "What are you talking about, Mikasa?"

I felt tears piling up, "What I'm saying is that, everything is not going well and only I can fix this..." I paused, catching my breath, "Only I can fix this problem I've made for myself."

And with that, I turned my back away from her. I raced to my room and I heard her call my name and asked me for a clear answer and explanation but I didn't turn back. I was tired of everything. I wanted the threatening tightness of the rope around my neck, binding me closer to death.

But...

I have to fight. I have to.

I rummaged my drawer, looking for something. I found a old and torn Death Note on the deepest of my drawer, I pulled a pair of scissors, some scotch tape, and a light blue construction paper from the top of my study table. I scribbled "Book Of Words" on the paper and cut it to a rectangle, and took some sticky tape and cut some strips out of it and stuck the light blue paper over the words "Death Note" which was heavily embossed on the black cover. 

I sat in front of my table and scrutinized the blank pages, thinking deeply what to write. My fingers pulsed as I held my pen tightly until my fingertips were bleached. I chewed on my lip as if it was some tasty snack. 

I started to write something which was good. 

I wrote:

Damn it all to hell.

 And it simply ended there. 

I couldn't write anything else.

Fast forward. Everything in winter was boring and bleak. Everything felt slow but it was still fast. The sun rose and set very early. Everything felt slow due to the cold but time worked the same way. Oh, winter was such a pain. Its bitter cold made everything gloomy, resulting to dark illusions my brain made for me. 

And the warmth finally defeated the winter and everything felt warmer and cozier. Lol, I sound like a grandma telling her grandchildren some fairy tales but yeah, it was kind of like that to me. 

March was here and spring has sprung. The plants who've shriveled in winter started a new start and grew their new buds and leaves. How I wished to start a new start too but too bad, I can only start a new start when I die. 

I sat at my seat in the classroom which is near the door(seriously, the clichés of main characters sitting near the windows should stop). Everyone was chattering about their winter trips and Eren's friends were gathered around in front of me. There were namely Sasha, Connie, Armin and Marco.

"My grandpa won't stop feeding me his scorched cookies!" Armin complained, waving his hands before his face.

Sasha munched on her rice ball, "Aw, man." She swallowed, "I wish you've brought me with you. I would eat all of your grandpa's scorched cookies."

Connie smirked, "Ha, you wish."

"I wish so much!" Sasha exclaimed.

Eren chuckled and turned to see our adviser, Miss Rico Brzenska walking towards the room. 

"Oh no!" Eren gasped, "She's here."

And with that, they all scrambled away. 

The class was running the same way as it was. The discussions that seemed endless, the jokes that interrupted the class which makes the teacher mad, the noise of everyone working as a group, the small chatters that disturb the silence while solving Math problems, the copying and passing of answers that cause a commotion, the laughs and whoops as the bell rung all happened the way it would happen every normal school day. 

Eren, along with his diverse circle of friends ran off after the bell rung, signaling that us, prisoners of this hell, are free. Before running off, Eren turned back to me and gave me a small peck on the cheek.

"Be well, Mimi." He smiled and patted my head, messing up my hair.

I could feel the other girls in the room eyeing me and Eren. I'm certain they're jealous. I don't know what's with Eren but I've heard that a lot of girls want him to butter their croissant since they claim that my foster brother's hot. Eren's just...okay. Just a sweet boy who doesn't want to do his own share of chores. He's nothing special to me, really. He's just my baby brother(since I'm a month older than him, he's my baby brother.).

I gave him a small smile in return.

And with that, he left with them. 

Well, I used to hang out with them before I sunk to the deepest of my anxiety and depression but now, I feel like I don't deserve such a happy bunch. Yeah and I'm pretty sure Marco and the others are worried about me, they just don't show it. I looked around, there were only a few people in the room left. Everyone else had ran off to spend time with their friends and the others probably went home. In front of my seat was the blonde gal who scares the shit right out of everybody but she doesn't scare the shit out of me. She's Annie Leonhardt. 

We've been friends(rivals too) ever since we met in kindergarten and ever since we were inseparable but I stopped hanging out with her when my parents were killed cos I hung out more with Eren and his friends. 

"Hey, Annie," I said, tugging her sleeve, "Play Quidditch with me?"

Annie turned with a scowl, like she always does."You're talking to me now?" She looked very mad. Well, its predictable since I didn't talk to her for like, four? Five years? Thing is, I didn't talk to her ever since fifth grade. "You're talking to me now after for not talking to me for five whole years?"

I faked a smile and it made my cheekbones hurt probably because I didn't smile since winter.

"I can explain!" I said in a sing-song voice, swinging her arm like what a spoiled toddler would do if they want anything from their parent.

"Fine, "She huffed, "I'm playing Quiddith with you."

For once, I've felt happy ever since winter.

YO, YO, YO guys!

Lel, this chapter might've confused you. I added huge timeskips but I didn't want to add line breakers cos I'm not really feeling it. Anyway, my OC will probably appear in the future chapter/s and don't worry she's not annoying. oh and that "Play Quidditch with me?" is like Annie and Mikasa's code phrase of "Talk to me" or "Let's go somewhere", that stuff.

bye bye